 |
| A mashed potato monster found on the internet |
DISASTER
at Princess Pumpernickel’s
Magical Birthday Cooking Competition
***
Princess Pumpernickel (7 years old) organized her yearly Magical Birthday Cooking Competition and you, for better or for worse, have joined in to this Magical Masterchef competition, where the winner gets incredible riches and the loser will spend a year in the dungeons!
This year a disaster happens when a magical mash potatoes and sausages golem has gone rogue and started to wreak havoc! So far, the princess is still amused, but things might go bad for you if you cannot put an end to this golem … in the most entertaining way possible.
You are some type of Magical Cook with enough expertise, or such an inflated ego, that you would at least think of standing a chance and not end up in the dungeons.
***
Base System: Roll for Shoes (https://rollforshoes.com/)
Extra’s: Choose a background that informs how easy or difficult your actions might be. You can choose or roll d66 (2d6: first die is first digit, second die is second digit) on the list or invent your own (GM fiat). There can be no two of the same. The person who celebrated their birthday most recently gets to pick or roll first.
11. Mash-o-mancer: You start with a sack of magical potatoes. How are they magical? The GM might tell you, or ask you, depending on how he feels.
12. Pastamancer: You start with Grandma’s magical cookbook. There’s no recipes in there, but grandma’s ghost will yell at you when you do things wrong and tell you to measure with your soul.
13. Sushi Shaman: You start with an aquarium on wheels, in which a fresh mermaid is captured. Does she help, or is she an ingredient?
14. Garlic Warlock: You start with a wreath of mystical garlic.
15. Cheezard: You start with a giant wheel of Elemental Emmental cheese.
16. Soup Witch: You start with a magical, walking cauldron. It has a bit of an attitude.
21. Meatball Mystic: You start with a heap of Ground Unicorn Meat.
22. Flame Wizard: Master of the grill, you have eternal charcoal, stolen from the depths of hell’s ever-burning fire. Sometimes it screams when it burns.
23. Tofumancer: You start with silky smooth tofu made from actual clouds.
24. Salsa Salamander: You are a magical fire-lizard that specializes in hot-sauce. You start with 1d6 other-worldly peppers of increasing intensity.
25. Vegan Vampire: You start with a barrel of ethically sourced blood from lab-grown meat. And sunglasses, for obvious reasons.
26. Juice Maguus: You can make juices out of everything, even things that usually cannot be juiced. You start with a magical juicer, which may or may not be your pointy magic hat.
31. Savvy Summoner: You actually don’t know how to cook, but the creatures you can summon can, if you can control them enough to tell them *clearly* what to do.
32. Decanting Enchanter: You know all about wine, and start with 1d6 bottles of wines that are literally out of this world. Either the GM tells you where they are from or you come up with them yourself.
33. Cocktail Conjurer: You start with some magical shakers and a variety of strangely shaped glasses, straws, umbrella’s, etc. The shakers give you the ability to distill emotions. Now only to find a way to capture them!
34. Mushroom Goblin: In the deep and magical caves of the goblin kingdom, strange mushrooms grow with a multitude of strange effects. You have brought 1d6 different ones.
35. TV-Show Chef: You are not magic, you are just very entertaining when cooking good food. You start with a signed version of your latest cookbook.
36. Sauce-Medium: You perform Sauce-Seances in which you contact grandmothers from the past to learn their secret sauce recipes. Sometimes they seem a bit senile though.
41. Pastry-Prince(ss): You are surrounded by a cloud of little winged fairies that will follow your every command. You actually never cooked on your own before, and wouldn’t know which part of the knife to hold. You are very good at giving orders though.
42. Tomaturge: You have magical tomatoes. They are the size of basketballs and taste very fruity.
43. The Easter Bunny: You start with unlimited chocolate eggs. Where do they keep coming from?
44. Jamming Gnome: Not only do you make some great jams and compotes, but you also make some good music while doing it! You start with
45. Pickled Homunculus: You are a pickled homunculus and float in a big jar of brine, but are able to come out if needed. You are made out of pickled vegetables, which, in a pinch, can be used as ingredients.
46. Chocolate Charmer: You are able to instill feelings in your chocolates. You start with a crate full of raw cacao.
51. Fruit Ninja: You have two very sharp ninja blades and a box of various fruits to slice dramatically in the air.
52. Ghost of a Restaurant Cook: You can cook ghost-food, from ghost-ingredients (the ghost of a pig, the ghost of a carrot, …) dripping with ectoplasm! But even handling regular food or utensils is very challenging!
53. A Drunk: You don’t really know what’s going on, or how you got here. You vaguely remember signing something? The only thing you really know is that things will become more difficult to do if you don’t get a drink soon, because the headache is coming! You start with an empty bottle of whiskey.
54. Barbecue Beast: You are a Minotaur that’s into grilling! Skewers, steaks, drumsticks, fish, sausages, and some more exotic meats. You start with a fully plucked griffon, ready to be dressed, marinated and grilled. And a grill of course.
55. Goblin Bug Eater: You are a goblin that specializes in preparing food from bugs. The goblins even breed some special types of magical bugs. You start with 1d6 Strange Goblin Bugs. the GM will either tell you what they are, or ask you.
56. Drowned Pirate Captain: As a drowned pirate captain living at the bottom of the sea, you’ve become quite good at making sea-food. You start with 1d6 seafood treasures of the deeps. the GM will either tell you what they are, or ask you.
61. Magical Bakery Construct: You are a magically constructed being that is used as a baker. You start with a built-in oven and a vial of raw magic.
62. Barista Badger: You are a walking, talking badger that can make all-organic, natural coffee.You start with a sack of mystical coffee beans from your enchanted badger glade.
63. Herbalist Harpy: You start with rare and magical herbs and spices. You usually use them to make calming teas and the like, but who knows what you can use them for in this competition.
64. Heavenly Cook: You are literally an angel. You start with a bag full of golden spoons to eat rice porridge with, as is tradition.
65. Garden Gnome: You are a gardening gnome and can make a pretty good salad! You start with a wheelbarrow of home grown garden vegetables.
66. The Muffin Man: You are really good at making walking, talking cookies, muffins, cupcakes and the like.
***
The arena consists of a circular area divided in six parts revolving around the Royal booth (A large tower with a 360° balcony) where the princess and her family sit. Once a recipe is done, it is brought up to her to taste it and hear her verdict. There are some guards there protecting her.
The full event will take 3 hours, with demands, surprises and complications brought on by the princess each half an hour segment.
THE PRINCESS DEMANDS…
11. … an explanation on why you are doing what you are doing. Your booth mechanically rises to meet her at the balcony and explain why you are doing things the way you are doing it, or why you have chosen a certain ingredient.
12. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that would go really well.
13. … that you make it sparkly.
14. … that your dish can move.
15. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that would be difficult to incorporate.
16. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that is near impossible to incorporate.
21. … that everybody dances!
22. … that everybody sings!
23. … that you tell an exciting story about the brave and beautiful princess Pumpernickel as you cook!
24. … that you do a fancy trick!
25. … that you tell a joke!
26. … that you start over from scratch!
THE PRINCESS IS GENEROUS
31. She gives you one of her guards as a helper.
32. She let’s you choose one of 1d6 ingredients to have added to your table.
33. She let’s you choose two of 2d6 ingredients to have added to your table.
34. She let’s you choose three of 3d6 ingredients to have added to your table.
35. She gives you a compliment.
36. Your starting resources are replenished.
41. You are in the spotlight! They all focus on you!
42. More time allowance! (an extra round)
43. More time allowance! (two extra rounds)
44. Coffee break!
45. She will invent a song about you on the spot!
46. You get a signed invitation to the ball!
THE PRINCESS IS BORED
51. Release the monkeys! (they steal)
52. The Floor is Lava! (Literally)
53. Make it dark! (Magical Darkness)
54. Zero Gravity Field! (everything starts floating and becomes more difficult to handle)
55. Thorny Vine Sprouts! (they obstruct and pierce)
56. Confetti Cannons! (colored paper and plastic falls from the sky)
61. Flood it! (Water starts to rise. When will it stop?)
62. Release the clowns! (they pester, mock and sabotage)
63. Switch tables with another player of her choice! You now work on that recipe!
64. Random ingredient is banned now!
65. Only use one arm, the others on your back!
66. Stand on one leg!
***
An unforeseen complication is the Mashed Potato Monstrosity now roaming around the arena, looking to devour and assimilate. If any of the players have rolled the Mash-o-mancer, this is their creature gone wrong. Otherwise it’s an NPC contestant. Optionally, play without the mishap and see what unfolds during play.
To see who the monster targets for the round, roll 3d6:
3. The Princess’ Tower
4. Contestant 1
5. Contestant 1
6. Contestant 2
7. Contestant 2
8. Contestant 3
9. Contestant 3
10. Contestant 4
11. Contestant 4
12. Contestant 5
13. Contestant 5
14. Contestant 6
15. Contestant 6
16. The Live Audience
The monster tries to engulf and absorb, it can also try to terrify and slam things to try and break and destroy things. It needs 6 hits to be destroyed. When hit, a little bit is split off and runs of on its own, trying to cause havoc as well. It is only one hit to defeat that, and it does not split further.
***
DISCLAIMER: This is a first version, untested idea. I hope to test it some time and then see if I can make it into something for my itch.io store.
