RISUS on the Borderlands - The Nobles version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the third of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities.

What would be the collective term for Nobles? A Delusion of Nobles? Am I getting too political?

The Noble

Nobles in fairy tales are examples or hero’s. Or they are trapped in a tower, waiting to be rescued. Or pampered to such an extent that they cannot sleep if there is a pea under a hundred mattresses (and this is seen as a quality!). Adventuring nobles are usually on some sort of quest. Someone in their family has fallen ill, and they need to go and get the doo-dah to fix it. Usually they are kids or teens. 

Another approach is the cursed noble. They mistreat an old lady or were not hospitable to someone who happened to be somewhat supernatural, such as a witch or a fairy queen. Now they have a curse on them that is supposed to teach them a lesson of some kind. These nobles are confronted with their own privilege.

For a more extended fantasy story the recovery of stolen land or a stolen or lost heirloom might be a nice angle. The humor here might be in how it was lost or stolen. Thie recovery of stolen land fits within the Keep on the Borderlands backstory pretty well.

Being a noble, training is likely, although the inept noble is a fun trait as well. The RISUS Companion has the option of Sidekicks and Shield-Mates, which could come in handy here. Something like this might be suitable to have a noble that’s good at nothing but has a little army of servants doing all the things for them. Although I think this might just work as a bunch of cliches describing the servants, which the text in the companion also gives as an option. It’s the “three halflings in a trenchcoat” idea, which is already a good cliche in general.

Another trope that might suit might be the exiled or dethroned noble. This has the potential to put the game in a story modus immediately (giving a kind of plot), so check with the group if that is what you want to do. It could also just be something as flavor in the background and barely come up. Another variation is a noble in hiding. (probably with one distinctive feature, like a weirdly specific shaped mole on a strange place.

In some high fantasy settings being a noble might mean that you have different blood, perhaps even magical. Discus with the group wether or not you want this, because this can get into some ideologically sensitive material. It might be therapeutic to laugh with it, or it might just be too painful to be confronted with people being different only through heritage, like some sort of Übermensch or something.

On the Borderlands here, the local nobles are from the keep. Seeing as I’m already setting the place up as a small, mostly abandoned barony, nobles will be hard to come by. 


• Most of them might be Knights from an order, come to support the cause. 

• The Marquis might have children old enough to adventure and help out that way. Family dynamics are good motivators here, and sources of humor (again, make sure anyone at the table feels safe enough to indicate when some things hit a bit too close to home). They make for great hooks.

• There might be some kind of court being kept, so some courtiers might fit in here. The humor here might be how unfit courtiers are in this rugged environment or how courtiers that come from this kind of environment are different than regular courtiers. The court will be very small though, except perhaps for the boatload of knights the Marquis keeps or hosts.

Example Noble Characters:


This princess can do her own plumbing, thank you very much!

Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen

Tale:

As per tradition Margareta received all the training a noble lady should before being locked into a tower for a knight to come rescue her and consequently marry her. She only went along with it because there’s no real use in fighting tradition, but as soon as she was in het tower she escaped on her own, beating the troll guarding the tower with her secret judo skills learned from a self-study book on the topic, disguised a book on floral arrangements. 

Now free and a noble in hiding, she roams the forests and hills of the area, having adventures that are more like her style. Although, she does still like embroidery as a hobby, but she uses it not as most nobles do, with flowers and cute sayings like “Live Love Laugh”. Rather she likes to embroider things she encounters in her adventures, like skeletons, and monsters, and ruined castles. And sometimes she cannot help but put one of those little sayings on there as well. Her favorite one is a raven picking a grub from a corpse with the saying “The Early Bird Catches The Worm” on it.

Hook:

Every time her cover is blown she’s being approached by young noblemen trying to win her heart in marriage. (Especially Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine who can’t do anything without the help of a servant) She’s really not into that idea. Unfortunately, hiding is difficult, because she has the stereotypical extremely good looks that princesses in fairytales usually have. In this case hair that’s actually colored like gold and a mole on her cheek shaped like a cute little heart. Her eyes are a deep vibrant brown with golden flecks in it. Also, cute forest animals tend to want to help her. Safe to say, it’s hard to stay hidden.

• Beautiful fairytale princess in hiding from suitors (4) - tools of the trade: Many, many disguises, fairytale beauty, cute forest creatures that want to help wether she wants it or not.
• Secret Judo Master (4) - tools of the trade: A go and black belt, a self-study book for judo disguised as a book about floral arrangements
• Adventurous Embroiderer (2) - tools of the trade: needle and thread, a thimble, small scissors, an embroidery hoop and a cookie tin to keep it all in.
• Wildernis Survivalist (2) - tools of the trade: rope, sleeping bag, knife, a trap, a fishing pole …

This is actually a pretty accurate description of Prince Friedrich

Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine

Tale:
Looking for the love of his life, Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen, Prince Friedrich  has set out into these lands, as he had heard that she’d last been seen here. Being extremely inept, this would normally be a fools errant, except that he’s followed by a very capable flock of servants doing every last thing for him, as befits his position. He has heard the declines to his declarations of love, but interprets them in such a way that he needs to win her over, that she’s just playing hard to get. (This has potential to get creepy, so check in with everyone on this. In my case I’m building in a failsafe so he will not be able to succeed at this.)

Hook:
While his servants follow him out of obligation, they would follow Princess Margareta out of adoration. As such they will never aid von Rumpshine in actively hurting her, leaving him without ‘tools of the trade’ to use his cliches. All alone, without any relevant skills to speak of.

• Pampered Noble Used To Getting His Way (4) - tools of the trade: A gaggle of cooks, washerwomen, butt-wipers, lace-tiers, etc. to do everyday tasks for the noble. Also money.
• S&S (2 dice): Billy Quiverstick
• Renowned Bard (4) - tools of the trade: A lute and a honeyed voice. Fame.
• Hopeless Romantic (2) - tools of the trade: half-finished poems, pick-up lines, impeccable flower arrangements.
• S&S (1 die): Iron Brünhilde
• Intimidating Bodyguard (3) - tools of the trade: Scary armor, scarred face, unnecessarily spiky weapon
• S&S (2 dice): A Council of Advisors
• Groveling Yes-Men (and -Women) (3) - tools of the trade: low self esteem, political ambitions
• Backstabbing Politicians (3) - tools of the trade: knives for backstabbing, trained orators, speech writing material
• S&S (3 dice): Alfred the Alchemist
• Smelly Alchemist (4) - tools of the trade: Stinky ingredients of dubious origin, vials, candles, mystical paraphernalia
• Knower of Obscure and Esoteric Things (4) - tools of the trade: Many strange and obscure books
• Frail old Man (1) - tools of the trade: Cane, weak back.

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Crafter/Trader version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the second of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities. 

So many trades to choose from! Such diversity!

Crafts- and tradespeople

The village has some craftspeople, but not as many and as specialized as there would be in the cities. The crafts needed for self reliance are probably available, like weaving, basketweaving, some light carpentry/woodworking, some light building/masonry, spinning, some simple dying of cloth or making of paint. People will make their own clothes. 

There will not be doctors, smiths, barbers, etc. Though they might visit as traveling tradesmen once in a while. These tradesmen are more equipped to handle the dangers of the road through strength or guile. 

There is an innkeeper and tavern owner, because every fantasy game village needs to have those. The same with a shopkeep. Though these tend to be NPC's.

Requirement: Tale
Craftspeople are not usually the adventuring type. Tell us what caused you to (1) give up the trade and (2) take up the life of deadly adventure. 
This will gain you an automatic extra die to spend, as per the optional rule.

Some options to work with: 

• You heard about a mystical dwarf that is the master of your craft and how he teaches his dwarfish crafting magic to those he deems worthy. You think you are worthy! 
• Your shop has been ransacked by bandits and ruffians, you have to start all over again, and preferably not there. 
• You heard that if you include the hair of a unicorn’s tail into a woven garment, the one you gift it too will fall in love with you forever. 
• You can’t see yourself doing this same thing for the rest of your life. You’ve got a midlife crisis! 
• Your child has been kidnapped and you’re going to get her back.

Keep in mind what these trades are and how they could be funny while writing cliches. We’re playing RISUS after all! What does the trade or craft imply? What is the stereotype? Do you subvert it or enforce it? Trade skills also have great potential to be inappropriate cliches while adventuring in dungeons and the like. How would a cliche be funny to use inappropriately?

A potter might always have dirty hands, making not leaving traces more difficult, but probably makes making a quick sign on a wall easier. A weaver might always be fidgeting with some thread. A traveling potion seller might smell a bit … off, but tries to hide it by covering themselves in perfume. They might take in their craft or be very humble about it. Etc. Etc.

---

Example Crafter/Trader Characters:

Here he is, just making pot after pot after pot in his little room.

Muddy Maurice

Tale:
Muddy Maurice is a middle aged potter that works with clay from the river. He goes and gets it there himself. Working with clay he tends to always be muddy. Muddy hands, muddy feet, mud stained clothes… He left his kiln and his pots to go adventuring because he felt like he got stuck in his work and wasn’t finding any more joy in it. He needed to try new things, experience new things, so as to get to the next level in his life. In other words, a midlife crisis. He traded some of his pottery for adventuring gear and set out for new experiences!

Maurice is a(n)…

• Muddy-Handed Potter (4) - tools of the trade: Kiln, Pots, Clay, Pottery Wheel, pottery workshop (also home), clay working tools, dirty clothes, probably also a shovel and a wheelbarrow.
• Surprisingly Graceful Swimmer (3) - tools of the trade: A medieval speedo
• Lifelong Bachelor (3) - tools of the trade: An iron stomach, problems with commitments, an aversion to settling down.
• Midlife-Crisis Adventurer (1) - tools of the trade: Backpack filled with adventuring tools he heard he needed, leather jacket, heavy club, crippling self doubt.

---

Hilde is unimpressed by yet another suitor...

Hilde

Tale:
Hilde is what they call an old spinster. This is because she is very good at spinning all kinds of yarn or thread, be it literally or figuratively. Also, it’s because she still isn’t married at age 30! It’s not like suitors haven’t presented themselves over the years, but rather that she was never impressed by them. Tiering of this she has set out to find a real man in the wildernis of the borderlands. She’s hoping that one of these adventuring men will be made of the right stuff to marry her.

Hilde is a(n)…

• Old Spinster looking for a Real Man (4) - tools of the trade: Yarn, Wool, thread, spindle whorl, judging eyes, high expectations
• Gossip Girl (2) - tools of the trade: good ears and a wicked tongue
• Creative Knitting Woman (3) - tools of the trade: Knitting needles, balls of yarn
• Beginning Adventurer (2) - tools of the trade: Heavy walking stick (good for whacking), backpack full of handy knickknacks, hopes and dreams

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Farmer version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the first of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities. 

Aren't they jolly and fun!

Farmers

Farmers come in all shapes and sizes. Some make things grow, others keep farm animals. Usually you know what to do with the produce. Most do a bit of everything, but some might experiment with specializing. Or at least dream of it, aspiring to one day be able to specialize in one thing. 

Requirement: Tale

Farmers are not usually the adventuring type. Tell us what caused you to (1) give up the life of a farmer and (2) take up the life of deadly adventure. 
This will gain you an automatic extra die to spend, as per the optional rule.

Some options to work with (but feel free to come up with your own): 

• You accidentally burned down your farm. 
• Goblins stole your favorite chicken, and you want it back. 
• You had a vision or dream where you were chosen for a great task. 
• Wolves have been eating your herd, and now it’s time for revenge. 
• Raiders have stolen your husband! 
• You heard that if you catch a Leprechaun you can force it to give you his treasure, and you like treasure! 
• You didn’t shelter an old crone, she cursed you and now your crops all uprooted themselves and walked into the woods, on their own!

Farmers are usually hearty and healthy, strong because of their work. Some might know letters and numbers and be able to write their own name. Farmers tend to be good with their hands, and be able to craft simple things for themselves (see craftsmen). Farmers might dabble a bit in fishing or hunting. Especially if some predators are out to get their chickens or their sheep. Music is also a thing that is liked, as well as turning their produce into tastier things, like bread, cheese and beer, which is used for another beloved activity, namely feasting. There are a lot of tropes about farmers, which could be used to fuel your cliche writing inspiration.

Most farmers will have one cliché at 3 max and all others below, since they tend to do everything on their own, being self-sufficient. You are required to have at least one cliche that has to do with farming if you want to play a farmer. It can be at 1, if you want to be a particularly bad farmer. Most have multiple farming related cliches though.

Optional Rule: Hard Working

At the cost of 1 die at character creation this character gets the Hard Working trait, meaning they can re-roll any 1’s, but only on any roll made for doing continuous hard and mindless physical labor such as lugging things around, plowing, mowing, chopping.

 

Example Farmer Characters:

Look any this handsome lad.
I'd wager he's still got all of his teeth.

Hannes

Tale: 

Hannes once was fishing, as he likes to do on a Sunday after mass. It was at this point that all of a sudden the face of a beautiful lady emerged from the water and told him that there are many treasures hidden in the caves that go up the road. Hannes explained that he couldn’t really leave his widowed mother all alone to look after the farm. The lady in the water told him that the treasure could make his widowed mother into a queen that could have anything she wanted. Hannes loves his mother very much and thinks this is a good idea, so he leaves right away.

Hannes is a(n) …

• Gullible but strong farmboy (3) - 
tools of the trade: Hopes and Dreams, farm, plow, rake, …
• Animal Friend, especially to his cow Mathilda (2) - tools of the trade: Big Heart, bag of treats
• Singing Harvester (2) - tools of the trade: knowledge of simple songs, scythe
• Handsome Lad (2) - tools of the trade: Rosy Cheeks, athletic build, sincere eyes, all of his teeth
• Recreational Fisherman (1) - tools of the trade: Fishing Line
• Hard Worker (see optional rule)

A bit like this, but imagine a spiked mace instead of a sword.
And imagine her being very clumsy in it.

Iron Anna

Tale:
Annabelle, being a buxom dairy maid, got a lot of attention from the soldiers, mercenaries and other adventurers coming through. This filled her head with dreams about the world outside and the riches and fame to gain out there. She would sings songs about it while dreaming about going on adventures on her own. One day she ran off with a mercenary called Iron Willem, and started adventuring for good. Iron Willem ended up dying, about right as they left the village. Such is the adventuring life. Especially if you made an enemy in the Bandit King like Iron Willem did. Annabelle was undeterred and kept going, seeking adventure and fame. With the tools that Willem left her in death she outfitted herself with re-forged plate armour (from Dead Iron Willem’s purse) and his spiked mace and set out to become Iron Anna. Which is where we are right now. She’s still figuring these things out.

Annabelle is a(n)…

• Buxom Milk Maid (3) - tools of the trade: Buxom Bossom, Milk Pail, Three Legged Stool, Wooden Shoes, a Cow.
• Bored Cheese Monger (2) - tools of the trade: Cheese Cloth, Bottle of Rennet, Cheese Press, a Cheese Cellar.
• Dreamy Songstress (2) - tools of the trade: Hopes and Dreams, A Good Voice.
• Optimistic Go-Getter (2) - tools of the trade: Hope and Energy
• Reluctant Housewife in Training (1) - tools of the trade: Broom, Apron, Rolling Pin, Cooking Knives, Family Cookbook, …
• Iron Clad Adventurer looking for Fame and Glory (1) - tools of the trade: Plate Armor, Spiked Mace.
• Lucky shots: OOOOOO

RISUS on the Borderlands - General Idea version 0.1

 Yup, I'm at it again, reworking the Borderlands, and again, using RISUS. I got inspired by someone talking about running modules for RISUS on the RISUS Discord Channel. And the idea didn't leave my head. I've recently read the RISUS Dungeonautica rules which were a big inspiration as well. Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll ever finish this project, but I'm trying to convert what I like from Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS, with it's own kind of humor. To make something really feel like a RISUS interpretation I feel like it needs to be funny/silly. I'm not sure how good I am at that, but I'll give it go.

I'm keeping a list of sorts (kind of like a table of contents) below this post!

this is a castle, or a keep, if you will.

The Keep on the Borderlands - RISUS Edition

The Mark is a savage place, corrupted by Chaos, making men, beasts and nature itself give in to dark desires, like greed, violence and even stand up comedy!

Standing against this is the Marquis, castellan to the keep on these borderlands. With an iron fist she brings law to this savage land, protecting mankind from the evils that live in the dark. Helping her are her two advisors, one from the Church and one from the Realm of Fairy. They help her decide when to tighten her iron grip, and when to loosen it up a bit.

The Inquisitor from the church is a stern looking man that never smiles and always looks in judgement. The Fair Child is a 100 year old child trained in combat and magic alike. They also like to play tricks on people. They look like they are five years old. They are always smiling.

Changes to the original keep:

The outer keep becomes a little village built against the walls of the keep, which is now just the inner keep from the module. Most people live in farms between the road and the river, which are the main source of food for the Keep. This also means that there are less men at arms around. The keep is still built on a rock jutting out of the ground, but the rest of the village is built around the rock that’s jutting out that ground, negating some of that crevice-moat-idea. But if the rock jutting up is a Really High Rock (5) that should be okay I think.

 

Starting Characters

Characters are made with 10 dice like normal. The options from the main rules are all available, and required in some cases (see below). For characters choosing the Hooks and Tales options, it might be fun to work together and make up backstories that lead in the same direction, so that it would make sense for you guys to be working together as a party.

Extra Option: For a more authentic feel, some might think a 10 dice character might be a bit too heroic and advanced. For a more Zero-to-Hero kind of feel, start with only 5 dice and set the maximum of a cliché to 3. This is meant to be an option that is for the entire group, but if a specific type of player wants to challenge themselves more like this, they are of course free to take this all on their own, I guess.

Most people here are humans. These are human lands. Any other beings are either very rare visitors from the fairy lands or creatures of corruption. Or Wizards. Wizards are rare to come by. People that are not humans will have specific requirements for use as characters, such as a hook or a tale. Others might as well, such as the farmer, who generally isn’t the deadly adventuring sort.

• Humans in this area are either farmers, simple craftsmen or warriors of some kind (mainly soldiers, knights and mercenaries).
• There is a little parish here with a priest and acolytes which could provide that avenue as a viable player option, and traveling priests are a thing. 
• The simple people here are living in tough conditions, which probably makes them quite tough on their own, compared to the ones living in the more tamed regions of the kingdom. This might provide hunters, not only of common animals, but of things that others might just think lives in make belief.
• Sometimes some people here are born a bit different. Tainted by the corruption of chaos, or influenced from meddling by the fairy lands.

Currently Available (links open in a new window):

The Farmer

The Crafter/Trader

The Hermit and his Wild Dog (Lore)

 TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with themes of anti-semitism at it was often the case in the medieval times. This author clearly portrays the anti-semitism as wrong and evil, and the root/cause of the problems these characters might bring.

X-CARD MATERIAL: Obviously, this would be X-Card material at the gaming table, and before beginning a session or arc in which this might feature, I would ask if these things and themes are fitting or not for the group and tone we want to portray.

The Hermit and his Wild Dog.

Once a respected member of the community surrounding the keep, this man and his family enjoyed a quiet life, but once Count Leopold de Chouxchaude — the then master of the Keep —found out that there were Jews living in his village he became incensed, especially after his wife had a miscarriage. Blaming it on the family they were driven out of the community by the guards.

"An Old Beggar"
David Teniers II (1610-1690)

Taking it in stride, persecution seeming to be part of their heritage, they settled in the woods, where they built a cottage and lived from what the land brought them. The couple had children who grew up healthy and innocent of the evils outside the forest.

Then, after the harvest failing for the second year in a row, the people remembered them, and with the lack of reason that desperation and fear brings, a mob was formed. The mob went and looked for the family, finding the cabin in the woods. They locked the doors and burned it down, thinking their job done. They did not know that the father was out, checking the traps. When he came back, he saw what happened, and he broke.

I sadly have no credit I could find for this picture.

He buried his family and ripped his clothes, in the way of his people. He now wanders the woods, followed by a mean looking, black dog. Bitterness took hold in him and he wants nothing to do with people. What he doesn’t know is that the dog, who came to him in his need, is not in fact just a dog, but a force of chaos, that becomes a vessel for the man’s vengeance when the man is asleep. The man in question does not know about this.

On The Gaul (my replacement for halflings in this setting)

The Gaul used to be the dominant people here, until the Burgundian Court rose to power. They had vast agricultural and technical advancements that made them able to thrive. They ware also fearless. People don’t really remember them, or if they do, consider them “extinct”. This, however, is not the case. Seeing that they were outnumbered and outclassed by the Burgundians in the north, the Franks in the south and the Germans in the east, they went into hiding, living as hunter gatherers in the forests. They are hidden and don’t much care for what happens outside of their woods. They have their own language, which is a strange dialect mixing latin with germanic influences.

A Gallic Warrior

Life of the Gaul:

• They herd wild boar and even ride them, being significantly smaller than regular men.

• They are led by chiefs and druids, in small tribes, often limited to certain parts of the forest as defined by natural borders.


• They are very good at keeping hidden, having housing that is easily camouflaged as part of nature, or that is quickly and easily dismantled and hidden.

A Gallic Druid

Appearance of the Gaul:

• Men will sport long mustaches and long hair. The women also wear their hair long.

• They often wear torcs, and simple clothing, woven from nettle or other plant fibers.

• They are the size of human children around the age of 8-10.

Traditions of the Gaul:

• In war they will paint themselves with talcum powder, and some say they strike fear into their enemies by fighting completely nude, except for their torc. Fighting, in this society, is not just limited to men either.

• As a Gaul comes of age they have to go out and obtain some kind of metal, either through cunning or force, and bring it back It is then made into a torc and they are considered adult members of the community.

• Bravery is valued highly among these Gaul, and they will often greet each other with well-meant insults and taunts. They will also use this on their enemies, though less well intended, trying to goad them into rash and foolish decisions on the battlefield.

When you meet a Gaul in the wood, which is a rare thing, you might find them…


1. Herding boars. In this case it would only be one or two Gaul, but also a herd of wild boars.


2. Gathering plants, probably mainly women and children. Though it might just be a complete family affair.


3. Hunting in group. They might be going for a stag or try to kill a predator that has been bothering them.


4. Rough-housing. An insult match gone slightly out of control. They are not trying to hurt each other much, but they have lost sight of being low key. To those not familiar with their language and customs though, they seem to actually be fighting.


5. Courting, away from the tribe. Just a single couple, man and woman, being all lovey-dovey, or one unsuccessfully trying to woe the other.


6. Holding a ritual sacrifice at some standing stones, led by a druid. This will be a larger group, like a complete family, or a group of elders or even the entire village.

On Skeletons That Roam (And Their Motivations)

From a completely digitized manuscript called Danse Macabre.

From skeletons and zombies to ghost, phantoms and other, even more nefarious things like Vampires. These dead didn’t stay dead, for whatever reason. In fairytales, it’s often because of an unresolved thing that is so important that it keeps them from peacefully going on to the afterlife, be it for vengeance, love or some other powerful motivator, they keep alive.

Another is dark magic, either being animated by dark wizards or the devil himself, these dead are walking again. Perhaps they made a pact with the devil, not wanting to die or they or are called back and bound by a dark wizard. Perhaps the devil himself jumped back into the bones of these undead to find a way to move around. Many theories exist, some of them are bound to be true.

Skeletons

Skeletons are the bones of the long dead, generally humans, but they should not be limited to that. As the undead they have a reason to be. Depending on where we are, there are different reasons.

• They might have been summoned by a dark wizard or power. The one in control is not the original occupant, but a dark power, be it the mind of the wizard or it’s demonic minions. In this case, when defeated they stay dead until reanimated again. The link to the wizard is severed, or the demon is cast out, back into hell.

• They might also have some unresolved business and be moving about trying to resolve it. Depending on how old they are, their mind and awareness might already be slipping and their behavior might be hard to gauge. When defeated, as long as the business keeping them from dying is not resolved, they will re-assemble, or try as best they can. If unable to for some reason (because the bones cannot be reassembled or are completely destroyed, the spirit will still haunt and change tack and find another way to try and resolve their situation, for example by possession or some other measures.


• In the underworld, the realm of the dead, they just live and act as they might have had before. They are awaiting judgement at the end of days. Intrusions by the living might be seen as wrong and violently confronted.

When encountered in the wild, they are…


HP: 2 // ARM: 7 (typically)


1. A skeleton dressed up in tattered noble clothes, giving directions to six skeletons in tattered servant attire. “I will take my rightful place by my love’s side.” it whispers. It’s will animates himself and his servants to win the heart of their love. Their love is long dead though, as they are, but they might think one of the PC’s is them, or might think they are rival suitors. They will not realize they are dead, whatever is tried, but they might be convinced someone is their lover if they act the part, and find rest once their love is returned convincingly. This is a tricky thing to do.


2. Seven skeletons stumbling around, whisper-shouting a name. Two are adult sized, the others are varying child sized length. One of the adult ones is carrying a wooden doll wrapped in cloth. They are looking for their baby, stolen from its crib. They will not rest until they find it. The wolves that killed and ate them could not stop them years ago, nothing can.

3. Eight black-hearted skeletons cursed to roam the lands forever until they learn the meaning of compassion and charity. In life they were bandits who robbed and pillaged wherever they went. On one of their raids, they were cursed by an old lady before they stabbed her.


4. Six mercenary soldiers who have to save as many lives as they have taken before they can pass on. Any kill they make attempting to do this adds to the score they are trying to erase, but being soldiers in life, they only really know how to kill. It’s tragic. In trying to save lives, they often kill again.


5. One human skeleton and ten cat skeletons. The human skeleton is looking for ink and parchment. She needs to finish her tale before she can move on. The cats are faithful even into death. 


6. Eight animal skeletons, animated by dark magic, inhabited by evil spirits and let loose (or escaped) into the wild. Experiments of a dark sorcerer.

The Door At The End (an obstacle to overcome)

 The players in my game will be going through a secret passageway to the keep, hoping to gain access unnoticed. What they do not know is that someone in the new management of the keep has found it as well, being the curious wizard-type that he is, and installed a magic door to keep it safe. His magic wasn't entirely successful though, not he knows this, and this door gained a personality that can be played into to convince it to be opened up to the players. This is how The Door At The End's magical protection looks like.

A bas relief in Mechelen city that we found yesterday and took a picture of.

The Door At The End (of the secret tunnel)

At the end of the tunnel you find a door to the Keep's fountain. On the door is a bas relief of a lion with a ring in it's mouth through which some tassled ribbons are draped.

When you try to open it in any way, it will come alive and talk, unclearly as if the ring in its mouth is actually obstructing it.

1. Hewwo phewe. How are you phoing?

2. Ohohohhoho! Phtoooop! Phah Tickwleph!

3. Exphcuuphe me? Phwho awe you?

4. Unhand me at oneph! Phavageph!

5. Aaauw! PHTOP IT!

6. *eye roll* Wha' awe you doim?

It is recently installed and enchanted by Orion the Advisor, who found the passages. It can only allow those with the right key, but there is a flaw in it's design in that it has a bit of a personality, and it often feels lonely here. 

It might open for you if you...

1. Tell him a story. Either one he hasn't heard before, or a specific one that is his favorite.

2. Sing him a song. Either one he hasn't heard before, or a specific one that is his favorite.

3. Talk to him about the outside world. He wants to experience it through you. Does it line up with what he has heard before? How does this influence his decision on wether or not to open for you?

4. Teach him a sentence in a new language.

5. Make him pretty somehow. Paint, flowers, a ribbon ... Bonus if you can show him in a mirror.

6. Show him a dance, trick or other visual performance. 

So you found a secret passage to the Keep (encounter table)

 So you found a secret passage to the Keep

My adventurers know of a secret way into the Keep. Since due to recent events they feel they can not really trust people in the Keep with the evidence they are currently bringing into the Keep they decide to take this way into the Keep.

I found a certain map of cave systems where they will find the entrance to this secret passage. Following the passage should be interesting I feel, so I made an encounter table.

Illustration: Adam Simpson/Observer

Roll 2d6:

2. Signs of an ancient dragon. 

Giant claw marks.

If in danger, dragon cultists looking for ancient dragon bones. 

Don't like being spotted.

3. weird stuff: 

lost dwarves

if in danger, they fear you want to rob them and attack.

There is a mining shaft to the side (up, down, left or right) in this tunnel now.

4. weird stuff: 

Skeletons from a broken wall. The wall breached the catacombs below the Keep.

If in danger they have spotted you and attack

if not in danger they have not spotted you ... yet.

There is broken wall into a catacomb in the side (left or right) in this tunnel now.

5. weird sense of place: 

Green Slime.

If in danger, on ceiling, dropping down.

If not in danger, puddle on the ground as obstacle to overcome.

6. sense of place: 

Crumbling ceiling. 

If in danger: Not propped up, just a collapse when you pass under.

If not in danger: As obstacle, barely propped up by creaking wooden beams.

Danger Roll + DEX (or STR if you try to wether it) to not get pinned. 

If pinned, GM rolls an attack to see if you've got hurt.

7. recurring characters: 

Sleepwalking Shopkeep. (Miss Chloë)

If in danger, the person is in mortal danger.

8. sense of place: 

Bandit Camp spies.

If in danger, they attack immediately.

If not in danger, they try to see who they are dealing with.

9. weird sense of place: 

incursion of 1d8 Fire Beetles. 

If in danger: they attack. Roll for initiative.

There is a hole in a side of the tunnel. (left, right, up or down)

It leads to the underworld.

10. weird stuff: 

Ghostly image of Count Leopold.

If in danger, he tries to posses one of you to warn the Keep.

If not in danger he wails on how he is responsible for the creeping chaos and how he regrets it.

11. weird stuff: 

Kobolds

if in danger they try to harras, bully and hurt you

if not in danger they are cruelly bullying a small fox that got trapped. 

(the fox is a fairytale creature and will thank you and want to help you at some point.)

12. Magic user: 

Orion the advisor to the Count recently discovered this place and is exploring curiously.

If in danger he suspects you of ill intent to the Keep and will try to imprison you.

Adventures in Krowne Keep: Actual play report(s) of the play by post group.

Adventures in Krowne Keep

 So, I've been taking some players through B2 - Keep on the Borderlands through play-by-post gaming. We use Discord for this and I'm constantly learning how to do this better. There have been two "sessions" this far, which I kind of classify as a separate excursion. Our playing mainly depends on me having the time and state of mind to run it, which means that it's usually a school vacation thing. We're also in quite different time zones, which makes it slower than it might otherwise be, but I've got nothing to complain about. The pace is right for me, going from about two posts a day to one every other day moves things about quickly enough to still feel like we're getting things done. The system we use is Maze Rats, which makes things go rather smoothly. Anyway, here are the reports. I'm bundling the two sessions we've had so far together, as the first one was just testing the grounds a bit.

Session 1: We're Going on a Bear Hunt (We're going to get a big one!)

The players:

Oliver, a gravedigger who knows how to attack.

Clive, a collector of cabbages with some magical potential.

Poppy Stoker, totally not a sneak-thief.

See Johannes, a hedge knight who knows his way around the forests.

Redmaine Needle, a debt collector with some magical potential.

Our heroes and scoundrels arrive at Krowne Keep. Some of them have been here before, others are new. They're let in and warned to "Keep the law and keep your head." They explore the keep a bit, which I rushed them through a bit because I wanted to go out on adventure. That was my mistake. They found a traveling priest who wanted to help them should they want to head to the caves of chaos. He was pretty strong worded and judgy though. They left him, for now, and head on. They found out that the trader pays for furs and that Miss Chloe, the provisioner, would pay them if they could collect some berries and mushrooms should they head into the forest.

Poppy had her own little adventure when she spotted a jewelry merchant. She tried to rob him, but could not get past all of the guards, even though she turned out to be quite the "Captain America", knocking people out by throwing her shield. She was spotted, but it was by a silent acolyte, so he would not tell on her. In the end she failed, being bitten by a guard dog and having to flee.

So, they head out into the forest, splitting up, setting a trap for a bear on the one hand and collecting berries on the other hand. They catch not one, but two bears and manage to kill one and scare off the other, afterwards tracking back the wounded bear to its cave and finishing it as well. They debate on wether or not to skin the beasts, and decide to just tie them to pollards and wooden beams and return to the keep.

Session 2: To the Caves!

The players:

• Oliver, a gravedigger who knows how to attack.

• Clive, a collector of cabbages with some magical potential.

• Poppy Stoker, totally not a sneak-thief.

• See Johannes, a hedge knight who knows his way around the forests.

• Redmaine Needle, a debt collector with some magical potential.

NPC's:

• Beryl, a small, white haired bounty hunter with a crossbow. She's looking for a jester.

• Father Durant, the traveling preacher.

• Brother Gauche, silent acolyte to Father Durant

• Brother Droite, silent acolyte to Father Durant

They got to the keep and sold their stuff. They decided they might try to go to these caves they've been hearing about. They've heard that if you bring back a big treasure or trophy, or bring in valuable prisoners you might get to meet the Castellan. They ask that traveling priest and his two silent acolytes to accompany him, as well as a bounty hunter who isn't opposed to some extra coin and the possibility of finding some trace of her bounty.

Poppy, again, looking for extra coin, managed to successfully steal the lockbox of the Trader, but was spotted (not recognized though) by his sons.

They walk for a day and camp out on a hill close by the caves so they can head to the caves in the morning. Night passes uneventfully, except for Oliver spotting some glowing bugs the size of dogs on the hillside. They seem harmless enough, and being a gravedigger he knows that they are Fire Beetles and generally scavengers. Right now, they were eating a rotting log on the side of the hill. He doesn't even bother to report this to the group in the morning.

They go to the caves and choose a cave entry. After listening carefully Clive yells "Come get your cabbages!" and throws a lit torch into the cave. Little gray wrinkly men come streaming out and rumblings can be heard. Beryl recognizes them as goblins, and the team seems to be handling them right well, partly by Clive's honey golem snake restricting two at a time. 

Eventually, after the third wave of goblins, an 8 foot tall man shows up wielding an iron banded club that looks like it's a whole tree or something. He runs past, greeting Father Durant as Master Durant and attacks, immediately killing one of the team. Master Durant and his acolytes now throw off their clocks revealing pentagrams made of snakes and the acolytes opening their mouths, revealing snakelike fangs and split tongues. The monsters from the other caves, who had been spectating in their cave entrances started hooting in excitement.

Things get deadly, the goblins, after a while, flee back into the cave (the few survivors) and a lot of the party fall. Gros Jean, the ogre in question stops attacking as the goblins who payed him are no longer involved. Through cunning action and positioning Clive manages to drag Master Durant towards the cave using the snake and convinced Gros Jean that Durant was going to attack the goblins. (he had been indiscriminate in who he killed before) which made these two fight it out, the ogre surviving. The acolytes were dispatched as well by the group and in the end the only ones left standing where Oliver, Clive and Poppy Stoker.

Gros Jean got to loot his own kills (I mean, where they going to pick a fight with him now over that?) but was asked to leave the body of Master Durant so they could take it back as evidence. The rest also started looting. This took some time and all of a sudden they heard wolves howl. They decided to cut their losses, quickly grab what they could and leave. They licked their wounds on the hill they camped on and waited for the day to end, so they could walk up to the keep from there in one day. Clive went fishing and had such a success with that that he even caught a fish that had a pearl in its mouth the size of his thumb!

They discussed what they would do next. They are not sure who they can trust in the Keep. They knew the curate already suspected the traveling priest to be up to no good, so they would like to talk this over with him. They go to sleep, hoping to recover. Clive volunteers for the night watch, seeing as he's at full HP. He will not get a new spell yet but the rest heal one hit point each. Poppy really needs it, as she had only one hit point left. 

At night Poppy startled awake from a dream in which she saw the name from Master Durant's armor and heard a slithering "I sssseeee you." At that point the ground burst open from under them and fire beetles poured out, eating the leftover food and anything edible they can find. Not wanting to get into a fight again they just let the beetles go and Clive sacrifices his pot of glue to make the fire flare and scare the critters off. Their bags are ruined, which they take the time to fix and they head over to the Keep.

Arriving there they are uncertain if going into the keep carrying the body is a good idea. Poppy remembers  she heard that there was a secret way out of the keep that they could take to get in. They would exit from the fountain in the square. Going at night would be best as they would be less likely to be spotted by the guards. The question was razed where they were going to keep the body, to which Poppy smiled. She had seen where the acolytes lived. "In their own apartment.", she said.

And we cut to credits there. Next session, they will try to secretly infiltrate the Keep.

Meet Father Clement Palacz, Curate of the Keep

 Father Clement Palacz

HP: 12 // ARMOR: 10 // ATTACK +1 // Miracles: 2 // STR: +2 // WIL: +3 //

"Der Kellermeister", by Max Thedy

It is known that Father Clement Palacz:

• Is not from around here, but people disagree on where he's actually from

• Is a man of great faith, who can perform miracles

• Has a patient and merciful outlook towards people, even enemies

It is said that Father Clement Palacz:

• Is a possible candidate to become the next Pope, should the current one die.

• Used to live in Moorish lands.

• Has a powerful relic in his possession.

When you meet Father Clement Palacz:

1. He will ask you how you are doing, and how he can help you.

2. He asks what your thoughts are about the last sermon he gave.

3. Asks you if you can help one of the people in this parish with a problem where he believes your talents might come in handy.

4. Asks your help for one of the villagers outside. Someone is ill, and they need some muscle around the farm until they have recovered.

5. Invites you for a walk, during which there will be some small talk, through which he attempts to judge your character.

6. Asks you to join him in prayer.

Backstory

Father Clement Palacz is a Polish priest. He left his country together with the troops in a crusade for Jerusalem, but their forces were defeated at Varna. Seeing his zeal and conviction he was chosen by a commander in the papal army to go on in secret, with a small task force, and provide them with information on the goings on in these parts of the world. They did, but could do nothing more than watch the fall of Constantinople, at which point he got separated from his troops, got captured by the Moorish troops and enslaved. 

He saw another side of the enemy then he was used to. Like Joseph in the scriptures, he decided to just work hard and wait for God to work in his life. He became a valuable and preferred slave. A hard worker who didn’t complain. At some point he, and the family he belonged to got shipwrecked on their way to Egypt, after being attacked by pirates. He tried to save and protect his masters but was flung overboard, bleeding, into the Mediterranean sea. He washed up on the shores of Egypt and was taken in by a fisherman who found him. 

The fisherman turned out, much to his surprise to be a Christian too. And he found the Coptic Church to be a shining light of Christ in this world. He got to experience life as a Christian in a place where it isn’t the state-enforced religion, and it changed him. He got a Coptic Cross tattoo on the inside of his arm, as well as a tattoo depicting the trinity. He became a valuable member of that local church.

Not much later he had a vision telling him to join a certain young adventurer on some adventure in Greece. Telling this to his congregation they prayed about it and gave him a holy relic to use there. A special staff, said to have been the staff that Mozes himself used and turned into a snake to free His people out of slavery. 

This is how he eventually ended up in the company of the Castellan, the adventurer in question, and ending up, later on, being invited to join him as Curate of the chapel in Krowne Keep.

Gear

Holy Plate Mail of Saint Michael: 


• +2 ARMOR


• No advantage on DEX Danger Rolls or Surprise Attack Rolls.

• Can sprout angel wings on command, allowing flight.

Shield:

• +1 ARMOR

• 1 Hand 

Blessed ring bearing the image of Saint Micheal the Archangel:

• +1 ARMOR

Blessed Mace of light:

• Word LIGHT always available for use with miracles.


• 1 hand

Holy staff of Mozes:


• 2 hands


• +1 DAMAGE


• Can strike foes that cannot be stricken by mundane weapons, like ghosts.

• On a successful hit: Upon a human-sized (or smaller) creature, the wielder of the staff may speak the command word, causing it to transform into a serpent and coil around the victim. (Danger Roll +STR/DEX depending, can be released by will of the wielder)

• When the victim is released: The snake returns to the owner and transforms back into a staff.

• Does not use charges, may be used any number of times.

Meet Orion Romatet: Advisor to the Castellan

Advisor: Orion Romatet

HP: 8 // ARMOR: 6 // SPELL SLOTS: 2
DEX +1 // WIL +2

Orion Romatet is the delicate, nine-fingered advisor to the Castellan.

Study Head of a Woman
Anthonis van Dyck

Orion Romatet is known to:


• Be the personal Advisor to the Castellan.


• Have only nine fingers.


• Have a strong fashion sense.

Orion Romatet is rumored to:

• Actually be girl, disguised as a man so as to be able to be around the Castellan. Scandalous!

• Have sold his finger to the devil for dark, magical power. Why does he get away with this?

• Actually be a fairy prince, tagging along with the Castellan to see if a possible alliance would be a good idea.

Orion Romatet will ask you:


• What your Zodiac Sign is.

• What strange things you have seen.

• Wether you could bring back something strange next time, preferably alive.

Gear:

Magical Plate Mail:

• +2 Armor

• no advantage on DEX Danger Rolls or Surprise Attack Rolls.

• Orichalcum armor inscribed with illusion runes, giving it the look of pretty, regular clothes.

Ring of the Phoenix:

• A ring holding a single feather from a phoenix’s tail. This gives free access to the word FIRE or LIFE for use in spells, wether or not the winds of magic or the pre-ordained position of the heavenly bodies would dictate it so. You can only choose one of the two words. You cannot use them both at once.

Short Bow:

• 2 handed weapon for shooting ranged arrows.

Magical Arrows (10): 


• Contain their own spell slot each.

• One of the words is already set by the rune carved in the arrowhead (SHOOT/SHOOTING) the other depends on the winds of magic and a user of magic to fill in.

Meet Father Winoc Le Drôle: The Castellan's Scribe

Father Winoc Le Drôle, Warrior Priest of Saint Martin and Scribe to the Castellan:

HP: 6 // ARMOR: 9 // Miracle Slot
 // WIL +1


A young, zealous and scrawny warrior priest on his way to holiness. 

"Portrait of a Young Benedictine" - Giovanni Francesco Caroto

Father Winoc Le Drôle is known to:


• Be the personal Scribe to the Castellan due to his training in reading and writing, and his devotion making him trustworthy.

• Be a warrior-priest devoted to Saint-Martin. Devoted and Zealous in his protection of the weak.


• Have accompanied the Castellan on at least one adventure before coming to the Keep.

Father Winoc Le Drôle is said to have:

• Spoken with angels.

• Broken his nose in a fistfight with the devil. Rumors cannot agree on who won.

• A jealous streak when it comes to friendships.

Father Winoc Le Drôle will ask you:


• Your opinion on the parable of the good Samaritan. What would you do?

• To pray with him later, and seek the Lord’s counsel in routing this land of chaos.

• What sources of Chaos you have witnessed and where? Can you point to it on a map?

Gear:

Plate Mail:


• +2 Armor


• no advantage on DEX Danger Rolls or Surprise Attack Rolls. 

Shield: 


• +1 ARMOR (1 hand)


Mace:


• 1 hand


Angel’s Promise:

• A shimmering feather, given by an angel in a vision with the promise of assisting in restraining an enemy once when called upon.


• Enemy in question needs to make a Danger Roll + WIL or be paralyzed for the remainder of the scene.


Holy Symbol:

Medallion of Saint Martin on a rosary. When brandished, it gives access to the word PROTECT for the use with Miracles.

 

Meet the Castellan: Morcant Dupoisson

The Council in the Keep is made up off the Castellan, his Scribe and his Advisor. They are working together to halt and defeat the forces of chaos trying to invade the lands through this little  fiefdom. The actual Count of the keep (Count Leopold de Chouxchaude) has gone missing, and the Castellan, his uncle on his mother’s side, has taken his place.

This is kind of what the Castellan looks like.
"The Prefect Raffaele Raggi", Van Dyck, c. 1625

The Castellan: Morcant Dupoisson

HP: 14 // ARMOR: 10 // ATT: +3 // WIL+2 // DEX+1 // STR: +2

Morcant Dupoisson is known to:


• Have gone on many an adventure in his youth, all over Europe.


• Be older than the count, but not by much, being one of the last children born in a long line, while the count is a first child of a first child

• Possess strange and magical items.

Morcant Dupoisson is said to have:


• Traveled to the underworld and back, to make a deal with death so he could save the life of his betrothed.

• Plans to take over the region for himself. He is amassing an army of capable warriors in the Keep.

• A strict but benevolent ruler, trying to make calls that are just and fair.

Morcant Dupoisson will ask you:


• Why you did not spare someone.

• Why you did not kill someone.

• What you think your next step will be.

Gear

Enchanted orichalcum plate mail:

 
• +2 Armor


• It is enchanted for ease of movement, negating the normal penalties of wearing heavy armor.

Round, Hellenistic, bronze shield depicting Caerus mid-run:


• +1 Armor (1 hand). 


• Time Stop: When an action is taken to ring the shield by banging something against it like a sword, all who hear it of the shield bearer’s choice, must make a WIL Danger Roll or be unable to move for an entire turn. 


• After doing this the shield remains humming for 1d6 turns. As long as it’s humming the ability cannot be used again.

Ring of protection bearing the image of a shield: 


• +1 Armor

Enchanted orichalcum sword inscribed with the command to be as sharp as it can be: 

• Exploding dice, unlimited! (when a six is rolled, roll an extra die, if that is a six, roll an extra die, etc.)

Dagger made from orichalcum, bearing the picture of a cloud with a face, blowing: 


• Gust of Wind: Can be pointed at an enemy. 

• They then have to make a Danger Roll with STR to resist being blown away by the sudden gust of wind. 

• Will hit everything in its path.

Unassuming Cloak & Boots: 

• Give advantage on hiding and moving silently in normal situations. 


• Makes hiding and moving silently possible in situations where it normally wouldn’t. (In plain sight, over a floor of silver bells, etc.) GM fiat.

Oil of Levitation: 


• Makes anything or anyone anointed with it float. It/they cannot control its flight through the oil’s magic. That will take mundane wit to solve.

Potion of Healing: 


• Better than bottle of medicine. Heals 1 die worth of HP. Takes an entire turn to drink.

Chain of Office: 


• Very valuable and symbol of office.

On Killer Bees

On killer bees

HP: 1 // ARMOR: 7 // Special: Dies after stinging // Fast fliers.

 “Jupiter, king of the Roman gods, is said to have given the honeybee his stinger, to protect his honey. His wife, Juno, however, insisted there must be payment for this gift of a weapon, so Jupiter gave the stinger with the condition that the bee dies should she use it.”

Image by rawpixel.com

Bees the size of loaves of bread are sometimes spotted around the borderlands. But where do they come from? Where do they find the nectar for their honey?

Where do they come from?

1. Deep underground, where there are giant caves full of giant animals and plants.


They are lost and confused. This upsets them greatly. A system of caves must be close by that leads to these strange lands. Their honey has natural healing properties. It is prized by their countrymen.

2. The realm of fairies, where they feed off of giant flowers.


They are silken white with golden haired stripes and their buzzing sounds somewhat like the tinkling of bells. A passage to the realm of fairy must be close by. Their honey has magical healing properties. It is prized by alchemists, witches and other magical people.

3. A magical experiment gone wrong. 

There’s an alchemist somewhere close by, crushed under the weight of a fallen and enlarged hive. The bees are quite upset at this. Their honey is infused with chaotic, badly controlled magic. Roll on the mutations table (Maze Rats, p.3) for effect on consumption.

4. They are messengers between our world and the spirit realm. 


They have a message for you, for good or for ill. What did you do to be noticed by the spirits and the gods?

5. They are the servants of a local, hidden nature spirit.

They live deep in the forest, in a hollowed out ancient oak surrounded by flowers that are big enough for the bees to gather nectar from. They try to keep the surrounding lands to the wishes of this spirit. Local Gaul have little shrines around, giving tribute to the bees and their mistress. It would be unwise to take these tributes for yourselves. But they look so good (tasty, valuable, ...).

6. Escapees from the hidden magical gardens of a great wizard-hermit. 

Somewhere in their flight radius there must be a wizards tower. It is very likely hidden from view through magical illusions. The wizard has dressed these bees up with silk shawls and golden chains bearing the wizard's mark.