Free Roll 4 Shoes Adventure: DISASTER at Princess Pumpernickel’s Magical Birthday Cooking Competition! (version 1)

A mashed potato monster found on the internet

 DISASTER
at Princess Pumpernickel’s
Magical Birthday Cooking Competition

***
Princess Pumpernickel (7 years old) organized her yearly Magical Birthday Cooking Competition and you, for better or for worse, have joined in to this Magical Masterchef competition, where the winner gets incredible riches and the loser will spend a year in the dungeons!

This year a disaster happens when a magical mash potatoes and sausages golem has gone rogue and started to wreak havoc! So far, the princess is still amused, but things might go bad for you if you cannot put an end to this golem … in the most entertaining way possible.

You are some type of Magical Cook with enough expertise, or such an inflated ego, that you would at least think of standing a chance and not end up in the dungeons.

***

Base System: Roll for Shoes (https://rollforshoes.com/)
Extra’s: Choose a background that informs how easy or difficult your actions might be. You can choose or roll d66 (2d6: first die is first digit, second die is second digit) on the list or invent your own (GM fiat). There can be no two of the same. The person who celebrated their birthday most recently gets to pick or roll first.

11. Mash-o-mancer: You start with a sack of magical potatoes. How are they magical? The GM might tell you, or ask you, depending on how he feels.


12. Pastamancer: You start with Grandma’s magical cookbook. There’s no recipes in there, but grandma’s ghost will yell at you when you do things wrong and tell you to measure with your soul.


13. Sushi Shaman: You start with an aquarium on wheels, in which a fresh mermaid is captured. Does she help, or is she an ingredient?


14. Garlic Warlock: You start with a wreath of mystical garlic.


15. Cheezard: You start with a giant wheel of Elemental Emmental cheese.

16. Soup Witch: You start with a magical, walking cauldron. It has a bit of an attitude.

21. Meatball Mystic: You start with a heap of Ground Unicorn Meat.


22. Flame Wizard: Master of the grill, you have eternal charcoal, stolen from the depths of hell’s ever-burning fire. Sometimes it screams when it burns.


23. Tofumancer: You start with silky smooth tofu made from actual clouds.


24. Salsa Salamander: You are a magical fire-lizard that specializes in hot-sauce. You start with 1d6 other-worldly peppers of increasing intensity. 


25. Vegan Vampire: You start with a barrel of ethically sourced blood from lab-grown meat. And sunglasses, for obvious reasons.

26. Juice Maguus:  You can make juices out of everything, even things that usually cannot be juiced. You start with a magical juicer, which may or may not be your pointy magic hat.

31. Savvy Summoner: You actually don’t know how to cook, but the creatures you can summon can, if you can control them enough to tell them *clearly* what to do.


32. Decanting Enchanter: You know all about wine, and start with 1d6 bottles of wines that are literally out of this world. Either the GM tells you where they are from or you come up with them yourself.


33. Cocktail Conjurer: You start with some magical shakers and a variety of strangely shaped glasses, straws, umbrella’s, etc. The shakers give you the ability to distill emotions. Now only to find a way to capture them!


34. Mushroom Goblin: In the deep and magical caves of the goblin kingdom, strange mushrooms grow with a multitude of strange effects. You have brought 1d6 different ones.


35. TV-Show Chef: You are not magic, you are just very entertaining when cooking good food. You start with a signed version of your latest cookbook.

36. Sauce-Medium: You perform Sauce-Seances in which you contact grandmothers from the past to learn their secret sauce recipes. Sometimes they seem a bit senile though.

41. Pastry-Prince(ss): You are surrounded by a cloud of little winged fairies that will follow your every command. You actually never cooked on your own before, and wouldn’t know which part of the knife to hold. You are very good at giving orders though.

42. Tomaturge: You have magical tomatoes. They are the size of basketballs and taste very fruity.


43. The Easter Bunny: You start with unlimited chocolate eggs. Where do they keep coming from? 


44. Jamming Gnome: Not only do you make some great jams and compotes, but you also make some good music while doing it! You start with 


45. Pickled Homunculus: You are a pickled homunculus and float in a big jar of brine, but are able to come out if needed. You are made out of pickled vegetables, which, in a pinch, can be used as ingredients.

46. Chocolate Charmer: You are able to instill feelings in your chocolates. You start with a crate full of raw cacao.

51. Fruit Ninja: You have two very sharp ninja blades and a box of various fruits to slice dramatically in the air.


52. Ghost of a Restaurant Cook: You can cook ghost-food, from ghost-ingredients (the ghost of a pig, the ghost of a carrot, …) dripping with ectoplasm! But even handling regular food or utensils is very challenging!


53. A Drunk: You don’t really know what’s going on, or how you got here. You vaguely remember signing something? The only thing you really know is that things will become more difficult to do if you don’t get a drink soon, because the headache is coming! You start with an empty bottle of whiskey.


54. Barbecue Beast: You are a Minotaur that’s into grilling! Skewers, steaks, drumsticks, fish, sausages, and some more exotic meats. You start with a fully plucked griffon, ready to be dressed, marinated and grilled. And a grill of course.


55. Goblin Bug Eater: You are a goblin that specializes in preparing food from bugs. The goblins even breed some special types of magical bugs. You start with 1d6 Strange Goblin Bugs. the GM will either tell you what they are, or ask you.

56. Drowned Pirate Captain: As a drowned pirate captain living at the bottom of the sea, you’ve become quite good at making sea-food. You start with 1d6 seafood treasures of the deeps. the GM will either tell you what they are, or ask you.

61. Magical Bakery Construct: You are a magically constructed being that is used as a baker. You start with a built-in oven and a vial of raw magic.


62. Barista Badger: You are a walking, talking badger that can make all-organic, natural coffee.You start with a sack of mystical coffee beans from your enchanted badger glade. 

63. Herbalist Harpy: You start with rare and magical herbs and spices. You usually use them to make calming teas and the like, but who knows what you can use them for in this competition.


64. Heavenly Cook: You are literally an angel. You start with a bag full of golden spoons to eat rice porridge with, as is tradition.


65. Garden Gnome: You are a gardening gnome and can make a pretty good salad! You start with a wheelbarrow of home grown garden vegetables.

66. The Muffin Man: You are really good at making walking, talking cookies, muffins, cupcakes and the like.

***

The arena consists of a circular area divided in six parts revolving around the Royal booth (A large tower with a 360° balcony) where the princess and her family sit. Once a recipe is done, it is brought up to her to taste it and hear her verdict. There are some guards there protecting her.

The full event will take 3 hours, with demands, surprises and complications brought on by the princess each half an hour segment.

THE PRINCESS DEMANDS… 

11. … an explanation on why you are doing what you are doing. Your booth mechanically rises to meet her at the balcony and explain why you are doing things the way you are doing it, or why you have chosen a certain ingredient.


12. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that would go really well.


13. … that you make it sparkly.


14. … that your dish can move.


15. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that would be difficult to incorporate.


16. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that is near impossible to incorporate.



21. … that everybody dances!


22. … that everybody sings!


23. … that you tell an exciting story about the brave and beautiful princess Pumpernickel as you cook!


24. … that you do a fancy trick!


25. … that you tell a joke!


26. … that you start over from scratch!


THE PRINCESS IS GENEROUS


31. She gives you one of her guards as a helper.


32. She let’s you choose one of 1d6 ingredients to have added to your table.


33. She let’s you choose two of 2d6 ingredients to have added to your table.


34. She let’s you choose three of 3d6 ingredients to have added to your table.


35. She gives you a compliment.


36. Your starting resources are replenished.



41. You are in the spotlight! They all focus on you!


42. More time allowance! (an extra round)


43. More time allowance! (two extra rounds)


44. Coffee break!


45. She will invent a song about you on the spot!


46. You get a signed invitation to the ball!



THE PRINCESS IS BORED

51. Release the monkeys! (they steal)


52. The Floor is Lava! (Literally)


53. Make it dark! (Magical Darkness)


54. Zero Gravity Field! (everything starts floating and becomes more difficult to handle)


55. Thorny Vine Sprouts! (they obstruct and pierce)


56. Confetti Cannons! (colored paper and plastic falls from the sky)



61. Flood it! (Water starts to rise. When will it stop?)


62. Release the clowns! (they pester, mock and sabotage)


63. Switch tables with another player of her choice! You now work on that recipe!


64. Random ingredient is banned now!


65. Only use one arm, the others on your back!


66. Stand on one leg!

***

An unforeseen complication is the Mashed Potato Monstrosity now roaming around the arena, looking to devour and assimilate. If any of the players have rolled the Mash-o-mancer, this is their creature gone wrong. Otherwise it’s an NPC contestant. Optionally, play without the mishap and see what unfolds during play.

To see who the monster targets for the round, roll 3d6: 

3. The Princess’ Tower


4. Contestant 1


5. Contestant 1


6. Contestant 2


7. Contestant 2


8. Contestant 3


9. Contestant 3


10. Contestant 4


11. Contestant 4


12. Contestant 5

13. Contestant 5

14. Contestant 6

15. Contestant 6


16. The Live Audience

The monster tries to engulf and absorb, it can also try to terrify and slam things to try and break and destroy things. It needs 6 hits to be destroyed. When hit, a little bit is split off and runs of on its own, trying to cause havoc as well. It is only one hit to defeat that, and it does not split further.

***

DISCLAIMER: This is a first version, untested idea. I hope to test it some time and then see if I can make it into something for my itch.io store. 

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Nobles version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the third of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities.

What would be the collective term for Nobles? A Delusion of Nobles? Am I getting too political?

The Noble

Nobles in fairy tales are examples or hero’s. Or they are trapped in a tower, waiting to be rescued. Or pampered to such an extent that they cannot sleep if there is a pea under a hundred mattresses (and this is seen as a quality!). Adventuring nobles are usually on some sort of quest. Someone in their family has fallen ill, and they need to go and get the doo-dah to fix it. Usually they are kids or teens. 

Another approach is the cursed noble. They mistreat an old lady or were not hospitable to someone who happened to be somewhat supernatural, such as a witch or a fairy queen. Now they have a curse on them that is supposed to teach them a lesson of some kind. These nobles are confronted with their own privilege.

For a more extended fantasy story the recovery of stolen land or a stolen or lost heirloom might be a nice angle. The humor here might be in how it was lost or stolen. Thie recovery of stolen land fits within the Keep on the Borderlands backstory pretty well.

Being a noble, training is likely, although the inept noble is a fun trait as well. The RISUS Companion has the option of Sidekicks and Shield-Mates, which could come in handy here. Something like this might be suitable to have a noble that’s good at nothing but has a little army of servants doing all the things for them. Although I think this might just work as a bunch of cliches describing the servants, which the text in the companion also gives as an option. It’s the “three halflings in a trenchcoat” idea, which is already a good cliche in general.

Another trope that might suit might be the exiled or dethroned noble. This has the potential to put the game in a story modus immediately (giving a kind of plot), so check with the group if that is what you want to do. It could also just be something as flavor in the background and barely come up. Another variation is a noble in hiding. (probably with one distinctive feature, like a weirdly specific shaped mole on a strange place.

In some high fantasy settings being a noble might mean that you have different blood, perhaps even magical. Discus with the group wether or not you want this, because this can get into some ideologically sensitive material. It might be therapeutic to laugh with it, or it might just be too painful to be confronted with people being different only through heritage, like some sort of Übermensch or something.

On the Borderlands here, the local nobles are from the keep. Seeing as I’m already setting the place up as a small, mostly abandoned barony, nobles will be hard to come by. 


• Most of them might be Knights from an order, come to support the cause. 

• The Marquis might have children old enough to adventure and help out that way. Family dynamics are good motivators here, and sources of humor (again, make sure anyone at the table feels safe enough to indicate when some things hit a bit too close to home). They make for great hooks.

• There might be some kind of court being kept, so some courtiers might fit in here. The humor here might be how unfit courtiers are in this rugged environment or how courtiers that come from this kind of environment are different than regular courtiers. The court will be very small though, except perhaps for the boatload of knights the Marquis keeps or hosts.

Example Noble Characters:


This princess can do her own plumbing, thank you very much!

Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen

Tale:

As per tradition Margareta received all the training a noble lady should before being locked into a tower for a knight to come rescue her and consequently marry her. She only went along with it because there’s no real use in fighting tradition, but as soon as she was in het tower she escaped on her own, beating the troll guarding the tower with her secret judo skills learned from a self-study book on the topic, disguised a book on floral arrangements. 

Now free and a noble in hiding, she roams the forests and hills of the area, having adventures that are more like her style. Although, she does still like embroidery as a hobby, but she uses it not as most nobles do, with flowers and cute sayings like “Live Love Laugh”. Rather she likes to embroider things she encounters in her adventures, like skeletons, and monsters, and ruined castles. And sometimes she cannot help but put one of those little sayings on there as well. Her favorite one is a raven picking a grub from a corpse with the saying “The Early Bird Catches The Worm” on it.

Hook:

Every time her cover is blown she’s being approached by young noblemen trying to win her heart in marriage. (Especially Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine who can’t do anything without the help of a servant) She’s really not into that idea. Unfortunately, hiding is difficult, because she has the stereotypical extremely good looks that princesses in fairytales usually have. In this case hair that’s actually colored like gold and a mole on her cheek shaped like a cute little heart. Her eyes are a deep vibrant brown with golden flecks in it. Also, cute forest animals tend to want to help her. Safe to say, it’s hard to stay hidden.

• Beautiful fairytale princess in hiding from suitors (4) - tools of the trade: Many, many disguises, fairytale beauty, cute forest creatures that want to help wether she wants it or not.
• Secret Judo Master (4) - tools of the trade: A go and black belt, a self-study book for judo disguised as a book about floral arrangements
• Adventurous Embroiderer (2) - tools of the trade: needle and thread, a thimble, small scissors, an embroidery hoop and a cookie tin to keep it all in.
• Wildernis Survivalist (2) - tools of the trade: rope, sleeping bag, knife, a trap, a fishing pole …

This is actually a pretty accurate description of Prince Friedrich

Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine

Tale:
Looking for the love of his life, Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen, Prince Friedrich  has set out into these lands, as he had heard that she’d last been seen here. Being extremely inept, this would normally be a fools errant, except that he’s followed by a very capable flock of servants doing every last thing for him, as befits his position. He has heard the declines to his declarations of love, but interprets them in such a way that he needs to win her over, that she’s just playing hard to get. (This has potential to get creepy, so check in with everyone on this. In my case I’m building in a failsafe so he will not be able to succeed at this.)

Hook:
While his servants follow him out of obligation, they would follow Princess Margareta out of adoration. As such they will never aid von Rumpshine in actively hurting her, leaving him without ‘tools of the trade’ to use his cliches. All alone, without any relevant skills to speak of.

• Pampered Noble Used To Getting His Way (4) - tools of the trade: A gaggle of cooks, washerwomen, butt-wipers, lace-tiers, etc. to do everyday tasks for the noble. Also money.
• S&S (2 dice): Billy Quiverstick
• Renowned Bard (4) - tools of the trade: A lute and a honeyed voice. Fame.
• Hopeless Romantic (2) - tools of the trade: half-finished poems, pick-up lines, impeccable flower arrangements.
• S&S (1 die): Iron Brünhilde
• Intimidating Bodyguard (3) - tools of the trade: Scary armor, scarred face, unnecessarily spiky weapon
• S&S (2 dice): A Council of Advisors
• Groveling Yes-Men (and -Women) (3) - tools of the trade: low self esteem, political ambitions
• Backstabbing Politicians (3) - tools of the trade: knives for backstabbing, trained orators, speech writing material
• S&S (3 dice): Alfred the Alchemist
• Smelly Alchemist (4) - tools of the trade: Stinky ingredients of dubious origin, vials, candles, mystical paraphernalia
• Knower of Obscure and Esoteric Things (4) - tools of the trade: Many strange and obscure books
• Frail old Man (1) - tools of the trade: Cane, weak back.

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Crafter/Trader version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the second of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities. 

So many trades to choose from! Such diversity!

Crafts- and tradespeople

The village has some craftspeople, but not as many and as specialized as there would be in the cities. The crafts needed for self reliance are probably available, like weaving, basketweaving, some light carpentry/woodworking, some light building/masonry, spinning, some simple dying of cloth or making of paint. People will make their own clothes. 

There will not be doctors, smiths, barbers, etc. Though they might visit as traveling tradesmen once in a while. These tradesmen are more equipped to handle the dangers of the road through strength or guile. 

There is an innkeeper and tavern owner, because every fantasy game village needs to have those. The same with a shopkeep. Though these tend to be NPC's.

Requirement: Tale
Craftspeople are not usually the adventuring type. Tell us what caused you to (1) give up the trade and (2) take up the life of deadly adventure. 
This will gain you an automatic extra die to spend, as per the optional rule.

Some options to work with: 

• You heard about a mystical dwarf that is the master of your craft and how he teaches his dwarfish crafting magic to those he deems worthy. You think you are worthy! 
• Your shop has been ransacked by bandits and ruffians, you have to start all over again, and preferably not there. 
• You heard that if you include the hair of a unicorn’s tail into a woven garment, the one you gift it too will fall in love with you forever. 
• You can’t see yourself doing this same thing for the rest of your life. You’ve got a midlife crisis! 
• Your child has been kidnapped and you’re going to get her back.

Keep in mind what these trades are and how they could be funny while writing cliches. We’re playing RISUS after all! What does the trade or craft imply? What is the stereotype? Do you subvert it or enforce it? Trade skills also have great potential to be inappropriate cliches while adventuring in dungeons and the like. How would a cliche be funny to use inappropriately?

A potter might always have dirty hands, making not leaving traces more difficult, but probably makes making a quick sign on a wall easier. A weaver might always be fidgeting with some thread. A traveling potion seller might smell a bit … off, but tries to hide it by covering themselves in perfume. They might take in their craft or be very humble about it. Etc. Etc.

---

Example Crafter/Trader Characters:

Here he is, just making pot after pot after pot in his little room.

Muddy Maurice

Tale:
Muddy Maurice is a middle aged potter that works with clay from the river. He goes and gets it there himself. Working with clay he tends to always be muddy. Muddy hands, muddy feet, mud stained clothes… He left his kiln and his pots to go adventuring because he felt like he got stuck in his work and wasn’t finding any more joy in it. He needed to try new things, experience new things, so as to get to the next level in his life. In other words, a midlife crisis. He traded some of his pottery for adventuring gear and set out for new experiences!

Maurice is a(n)…

• Muddy-Handed Potter (4) - tools of the trade: Kiln, Pots, Clay, Pottery Wheel, pottery workshop (also home), clay working tools, dirty clothes, probably also a shovel and a wheelbarrow.
• Surprisingly Graceful Swimmer (3) - tools of the trade: A medieval speedo
• Lifelong Bachelor (3) - tools of the trade: An iron stomach, problems with commitments, an aversion to settling down.
• Midlife-Crisis Adventurer (1) - tools of the trade: Backpack filled with adventuring tools he heard he needed, leather jacket, heavy club, crippling self doubt.

---

Hilde is unimpressed by yet another suitor...

Hilde

Tale:
Hilde is what they call an old spinster. This is because she is very good at spinning all kinds of yarn or thread, be it literally or figuratively. Also, it’s because she still isn’t married at age 30! It’s not like suitors haven’t presented themselves over the years, but rather that she was never impressed by them. Tiering of this she has set out to find a real man in the wildernis of the borderlands. She’s hoping that one of these adventuring men will be made of the right stuff to marry her.

Hilde is a(n)…

• Old Spinster looking for a Real Man (4) - tools of the trade: Yarn, Wool, thread, spindle whorl, judging eyes, high expectations
• Gossip Girl (2) - tools of the trade: good ears and a wicked tongue
• Creative Knitting Woman (3) - tools of the trade: Knitting needles, balls of yarn
• Beginning Adventurer (2) - tools of the trade: Heavy walking stick (good for whacking), backpack full of handy knickknacks, hopes and dreams

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Farmer version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the first of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities. 

Aren't they jolly and fun!

Farmers

Farmers come in all shapes and sizes. Some make things grow, others keep farm animals. Usually you know what to do with the produce. Most do a bit of everything, but some might experiment with specializing. Or at least dream of it, aspiring to one day be able to specialize in one thing. 

Requirement: Tale

Farmers are not usually the adventuring type. Tell us what caused you to (1) give up the life of a farmer and (2) take up the life of deadly adventure. 
This will gain you an automatic extra die to spend, as per the optional rule.

Some options to work with (but feel free to come up with your own): 

• You accidentally burned down your farm. 
• Goblins stole your favorite chicken, and you want it back. 
• You had a vision or dream where you were chosen for a great task. 
• Wolves have been eating your herd, and now it’s time for revenge. 
• Raiders have stolen your husband! 
• You heard that if you catch a Leprechaun you can force it to give you his treasure, and you like treasure! 
• You didn’t shelter an old crone, she cursed you and now your crops all uprooted themselves and walked into the woods, on their own!

Farmers are usually hearty and healthy, strong because of their work. Some might know letters and numbers and be able to write their own name. Farmers tend to be good with their hands, and be able to craft simple things for themselves (see craftsmen). Farmers might dabble a bit in fishing or hunting. Especially if some predators are out to get their chickens or their sheep. Music is also a thing that is liked, as well as turning their produce into tastier things, like bread, cheese and beer, which is used for another beloved activity, namely feasting. There are a lot of tropes about farmers, which could be used to fuel your cliche writing inspiration.

Most farmers will have one cliché at 3 max and all others below, since they tend to do everything on their own, being self-sufficient. You are required to have at least one cliche that has to do with farming if you want to play a farmer. It can be at 1, if you want to be a particularly bad farmer. Most have multiple farming related cliches though.

Optional Rule: Hard Working

At the cost of 1 die at character creation this character gets the Hard Working trait, meaning they can re-roll any 1’s, but only on any roll made for doing continuous hard and mindless physical labor such as lugging things around, plowing, mowing, chopping.

 

Example Farmer Characters:

Look any this handsome lad.
I'd wager he's still got all of his teeth.

Hannes

Tale: 

Hannes once was fishing, as he likes to do on a Sunday after mass. It was at this point that all of a sudden the face of a beautiful lady emerged from the water and told him that there are many treasures hidden in the caves that go up the road. Hannes explained that he couldn’t really leave his widowed mother all alone to look after the farm. The lady in the water told him that the treasure could make his widowed mother into a queen that could have anything she wanted. Hannes loves his mother very much and thinks this is a good idea, so he leaves right away.

Hannes is a(n) …

• Gullible but strong farmboy (3) - 
tools of the trade: Hopes and Dreams, farm, plow, rake, …
• Animal Friend, especially to his cow Mathilda (2) - tools of the trade: Big Heart, bag of treats
• Singing Harvester (2) - tools of the trade: knowledge of simple songs, scythe
• Handsome Lad (2) - tools of the trade: Rosy Cheeks, athletic build, sincere eyes, all of his teeth
• Recreational Fisherman (1) - tools of the trade: Fishing Line
• Hard Worker (see optional rule)

A bit like this, but imagine a spiked mace instead of a sword.
And imagine her being very clumsy in it.

Iron Anna

Tale:
Annabelle, being a buxom dairy maid, got a lot of attention from the soldiers, mercenaries and other adventurers coming through. This filled her head with dreams about the world outside and the riches and fame to gain out there. She would sings songs about it while dreaming about going on adventures on her own. One day she ran off with a mercenary called Iron Willem, and started adventuring for good. Iron Willem ended up dying, about right as they left the village. Such is the adventuring life. Especially if you made an enemy in the Bandit King like Iron Willem did. Annabelle was undeterred and kept going, seeking adventure and fame. With the tools that Willem left her in death she outfitted herself with re-forged plate armour (from Dead Iron Willem’s purse) and his spiked mace and set out to become Iron Anna. Which is where we are right now. She’s still figuring these things out.

Annabelle is a(n)…

• Buxom Milk Maid (3) - tools of the trade: Buxom Bossom, Milk Pail, Three Legged Stool, Wooden Shoes, a Cow.
• Bored Cheese Monger (2) - tools of the trade: Cheese Cloth, Bottle of Rennet, Cheese Press, a Cheese Cellar.
• Dreamy Songstress (2) - tools of the trade: Hopes and Dreams, A Good Voice.
• Optimistic Go-Getter (2) - tools of the trade: Hope and Energy
• Reluctant Housewife in Training (1) - tools of the trade: Broom, Apron, Rolling Pin, Cooking Knives, Family Cookbook, …
• Iron Clad Adventurer looking for Fame and Glory (1) - tools of the trade: Plate Armor, Spiked Mace.
• Lucky shots: OOOOOO

Bearded Rats JRPG Background: Smuggler

 

Smuggler Image generated by Craiyon.com

5. Smuggler

• You smuggle things, rare things, valuable things. The Wizard, at some point in your career, made something for you. He didn’t want money as payment though, he wanted you to do something for him.


• You owe the Wizard, but for what? You have a Token Item.

• You gain the Shadow Jack trait at Rank 1 and some Contraband.

Why do you owe the Wizard?

1. He enchanted your cloak so that it’s able to hold a lot more things than it should be able to hold. The things also do not show up if someone else is searching for them. You gain a Cloak of Many Pockets.

2. He made a cloak that makes you invisible. It’s alive though, and needs to be fed gold coins to do its job. You gain Obscuritas, the Cloak of Invisibility (Rank 1), both as an object and a companion, at rank 1.

3. He made you 10 Coins of Bribery, that will make any bribery attempt payed for with these coins magically succeed, provided the recipients possess intelligence.

4. He gave you a Crystal Dowsing Rod, which makes you able to look for items or people you want to find just by thinking of them. It will point in the right direction. With training you can refine the process.

5. He gave you a new face which, besides hiding your old one, has a very charming smile. You gain Smile of Innocence (Rank 1)

6. He trained you in hypnotism, making you able to hypnotize people and animals. You gain Hypnotist (Rank 1).

What contraband are you carrying right now?

1. Expensive Wine, in a wooden crate that carries 6 bottles.

2. A box full of Forged Documents that only need names and signatures to be filled in.

3. A crate of Star Metal, harvested from a fallen meteor. It behaves strangely.

4. 10 Magical Wands, developed by the king’s own mages.

5. A stolen Spell Book. You cannot read it. It has a menacing aura.

6. A Reliquary supposedly holding what remains of the hand of a powerful mage, long dead. It gives you nightmares.

Bearded Rats JRPG Background: Gambler

 

Gambler Illustration generated by Craiyon.com

4. Gambler

• You are a gambler, but you gambled with the wrong person and lost a bet. What did you know the guy was a Wizard! Now you are here, paying it off. 

• Losing a bet with the Crystal Wizard means you were confident enough by previous successes. You gain a Prize.

• You gain the Finger Smith trait at Rank 1 and a Pair of Lucky Dice.

What prize did you gain and who did you piss off with that?

1. You won a very expensive bottle of wine from the Innkeeper in a town of choice. 
You have a bad reputation with said Innkeeper. Bad Reputation: Innkeeper (Rank 1)

2. You won a special weapon from a warrior. You decided to keep using it. Detail it with the GM. Name the warrior. They obviously don’t like you anymore. Bad Reputation: Warrior (Rank 1)

3. You won the keys to a house in the city. It’s your property now. You haven’t seen it yet, since it’s from the same night that you lost to the Wizard. Bad Reputation: Previous Owners (Rank 1)

4. You won a strange animal. The animal seems to have little desire to listen to you though. Bad Reputation: Strange Animal (Rank 1)

5. You won a magical piece of clothing from a dark stranger. Wether this stranger is mad about it or not you cannot gauge, but they have taken an interest in you and might show up from time to time. Contact: Dark Stranger (Rank 1).

6. You died once, but managed to gamble with Death themself and win it back, for now. They might want to arrange things in such a way that surviving becomes difficult for you. Bad Reputation: Death Personified (Rank 1). You gain the trait Grave Walker at Rank 1.

Bearded Rats JRPG Background: Homunculus

One of the possible Homunculi, as depicted by Crayon.com

 3. Homunculus

• You were not born, but rather are a creation made by the Wizard. Wether or not you look human or not, there will always be at least one part of you that gives you away as inhuman.

• Because you are a servant of the Crystal Wizard you gain the Crystal Rose, a brooch that shows your allegiance with him.

• You have a Special Talent linked to your Form.

What is inhuman about you? What is your Special Talent?

1. You used to be a cat, hunting vermin for the Wizard. The wizard upgraded your intelligence and gave you a more human appearance, though he left your cat-like senses, your claws and teeth all intact. You are a Vermin Hunter (Rank 1) and a Humanoid Cat (Rank 1).


2. You used to be the powerful spirit of a lake, a fairy prince(ss), praised as a god by local humans. The Wizard caught you and stripped you of your power, forcing you to clean the Crystal Tower. You are an Urn-Trapped Lake Spirit (Rank 1) and have a Spell Slot with access to the magic lists for Elemental Water (Rank as Lake Spirit) and Cleaning (Rank 1). 
Your Magic Urn gives you Armor 8, but you have no (visible, usable) hands to use weapons or shields with and you can’t wear any other armor unless you find a way to escape the urn.

3. You used to be a porcelain doll, until the Crystal Wizard brought you to life to entertain his guest. You are an Animated Doll (Rank 1) and an Entertainer (Rank 1).

4. You used to be an owl, then the Wizard changed you into a more humanoid form. You kept your size, your wings, your feathers, your head and your talons, but gained humanoid arms. You are an Owl Creature (Rank 1) and Shadow Jack (Rank 1).

5. You used to be an ox, until the Wizard transformed you into a person with the strength of an ox. The only reminder that you were once an ox, is your tail. You still have the strength of an ox, but now the body of a human and all the perks that come with that. Grateful for this, you work for the Wizard in any capacity that needs your great strength, mainly menial labor. You are an Ox-tailed Human (Rank 1) with Inhuman Strength (Rank 1).
 Additionally you switch you highest ability score with STR and if it was not yet 2, it is now.

6. You used to be a plant, which the Wizard choose for its medicinal properties. The wizard gave you legs and intelligence, channeling your healing properties into a small capacity for magic, which makes you able to use your healing properties whenever your magic allows. You are a Humanoid Plant (Rank 1) with a Spell Slot and access to the spell lists Plant (Rank 1) and Healing (Rank 1).

Bearded Rats JRPG Background: Burglar

 

Burglar image generated by Craiyon.com

2. Burglar

• You spent your time breaking into houses, that is, until you tried to break into a wizard tower, you fool. At least now you just need to do this job and you are free of imprisonment by the Wizard.

• Because you are a prisoner of the Crystal Wizard, you are equipped with a Magical Collar that will harm you if you try to just run away.

• You gain the Finger Smith trait at Rank 1 and always have Lock Picks on you.

How do you usually get into buildings?

1. Rooftop access: You gain the Roof Runner trait at Rank 1, and have a Grappling Hook. 

2. Explosives: You gain a Bomb.


3. Disguising: You gain a Specific Disguise.

4. Sneaking: You gain a Dark Cloak and the Shadow Jack trait at Rank 1


5. Preparation: You gain a Notebook and a Pen to write down all your observations to plan.


6. Bribes: You gain a Pouch of Coin.

Bearded Rats JRPG Background: Artifact Hunter

Since the Bearded Rats idea is me tinkering with a newer idea for me, I do not want to apply it to my current game, but to another campaign I would want to play. I'm still quite in love with the JRPG esthetic, so I'm thinking wether or not that's possible.

JRPG style things without levels and ranks feels a bit weird. I want to keep some type of leveling or ranking, but still have the improvement happen in-fiction. I might have to re-write some of the rules for that, especially if traits like Briarborn or Shadowjack become ranked. I'm thinking of the ranks becoming modifiers to the danger rolls, rather than having advantage on said rolls.

Anyway, I present you with the Artifact Hunter!

Artifact Hunter art provided by https://www.craiyon.com

1. Artifact Hunter

• You spend your time in old ruins and abandoned places, hunting for artifacts. 
Sometimes people hire you to do this. This time the Crystal Wizard hired you to retrieve a specific one. You have an Artifact Hunter reputation at Rank 1

• Because you are hired, you gain a Pouch of Coins, with the promise of another one on job completion.

• You gain the Finger Smith trait at Rank 1 and an Artifact that you have kept for yourself.

The artifact in question:

1. A Large Revolver, and the ability to supply it with regular ammunition. 


Ranged, 1 Hand. 

+1 attack if using two hands to stabilize. 


Special ammunition can be found/made.


2. A barely functional Robot Body (rank 1). Can walk and hold items. 

Armor 8, HP 1


Can be upgraded in several ways, if the correct pieces are found or made.


3. A Ruined Airship (rank 1), not functional yet, but with time and effort, you are certain that you can get it to work. Currently stationed and disguised as a regular ship in the closest harbor.


4. A Giant Robot Head, useless on its own, but if powered it should be able to talk and see. If given a body it should be a frightful thing indeed. Currently stashed in your house/workshop, wherever that is.


5. A Jetpack, giving the ability to fly. You gain the Pilot trait at Rank 1


6. Special Goggles, giving you Night Vision. Different types of these exist.

Bearded Rats Background: The Wandering Knight (version 0.1)

three knights on horseback. Source unknown.

Being a knight means being a Noble. It also means upholding a Chivalric Code.

You start the game with: 

• a horse (name it), 

• armor of your choice (light +1 or heavy +2 but no advantage on sneaking, surprise or DEX tests.) 

• 2 weapons of your choice (one handed, two handed or ranged)

• a shield with your colors (what are they?)

• a signet ring 

• sealing wax

I. Order?

Being a wandering knight you do not hold any lands yourself. You might, however, belong to a knightly order. 

Roll a Danger Roll to see wether you are: 

• If you succeed you are part of a knightly order: Talk with your GM to see which one.

• If you succeed critically you are part of the most prestigious knightly order. 

In my game this will be The Order of the Golden Fleece.

• If you critically fail you were once part of an order, but were kicked out. Why did this happen? Talk with your GM about it. Was it your fault or were you set up? You have a bad reputation with the order.

If you belong to an order, you have a token item of the order that identifies you as such. The Order of the Golden Fleece has a chain, but it could be something else, like a ring, a knife, …

II. Born or Earned?

Most knights inherited their title and are part of a noble house, but some have gotten their title as a reward for services rendered to the crown. Were you born a noble or did you gain your title? Either come with advantages and disadvantages. 

Tell the GM which you prefer, then roll a Danger Roll to find out:

• If you succeed you get you what you want. You change your noble trait to either Born Noble or Earned Nobility.

• If you succeed critically you gain what you want (see the previous point) and it has earned you a good reputation. Either your house is prestigious or well liked or the actions and bravery that made you a knight are the talk of town. Whatever the case, you’ve earned a Good Reputation as a Noble. Detail this together with the GM.

• If you fail you do not get what you want. You change your noble trait to either Born Noble or Earned Nobility.

• If you critically fail people think you are undeserving of your title. You can choose wether you are Born Noble or have Earned Nobility, but you’ve earned a Bad Reputation as a Noble. They either think you were born into nobility but do not act the part or they think you gained nobility while not having earned it. Detail this together with the GM.

III. Upbringing

We know what caste you were born into. Now let's find out how your childhood went.

Roll a Danger Roll:

Critical Fail: Disaster struck you and or your family when you were growing up.

1. Your house was raided and you were the only survivor, leaving you an orphan. This was a traumatic experience that left it’s mark on the rest of your upbringing. Talk with the GM about what this might mean for your character.

2. There was an accident at home and it killed one of your parents. You were the cause. You gain a bad reputation to those that know about this and possibly a mental trauma related to this. Talk with your GM to decide what happened exactly and what this means for your character.

3. You had an accident that crippled you. How were you crippled, and what type of cripple are you?

4. You were the cause of something that drove your family to poverty. Your family remembers and brings it up whenever they can. You gain a bad reputation with your family.

5. You were abducted by an evil witch or wizard at some point in your youth. You were able to escape, but at a severe cost. Their magic has left its mark of corruption upon you. They also have not forgotten you. You gain them as an enemy. Talk with the GM to decide what all happened here.

6. You were wandering the forest when you got lost and ended up in the land of the fairies. When you finally found your way back a hundred years had past, and nobody believes you were lost in time when you bring it up. Your time in the fairy lands has also left it’s mark on you. Talk with your GM what fairy marked might be appropriate here. It should be at least inconvenient, if not downright dangerous.

Fail: Your upbringing was uneventful to say the least.

1. The only thing you did was run chores all day. You had no time to develop any skill or personality. It’s also not like you got better at it or liked it. You gain resentful servant.

2. You were overprotected, not allowed to take any risks. You were taught that everything was dangerous. You are fearful as a result.

3. You were neglected, having to fend for yourself. All you have is scrappy and worn out. It will break easily, or if you have a horse, it will tire easily, be old and/or sickly, …

4. You are from a big family and were often overlooked. Your parents sometimes can’t even remember what your name is or don’t notice you missing at family events. You are forgettable to your family. Wether you want to or not, you tend to fade into the background of things and events regarding your family.

5. You were spoiled rotten and didn’t have to do a thing. Your siblings resent you for that. You have a bad reputation with your siblings.

6. You were the black sheep of the family (reputation). Everything was your fault, wether you actually did it or not.

Success: You upbringing was promising!

1. You roamed the woods and the fields as a child, feeling quite at home there and learning its secrets. You gain Briarborn as a trait.

2. You loved to explore the house, the village, the world around you, and observe. You found spots where you could just look at people. You gain Shadowjack as a trait.

3. Even while barely able to walk, you were climbing on top of things, often found sitting on top of furniture or even the roof, with no way to get down. Growing up you learned how to get down pretty quickly. You gain Roofrunner as a trait.

4. You grew up liking to take things apart and putting them back together again. After a while, you got the understanding to use the learned principles to make your own stuff. You gain Fingersmith as a trait.

5. You were strong and agile, helping to protect the house from a young age, trying to catch rats etc. At some point, someone in your family taught you how to fight. (Who was it?) You gain +1 Attack.

6. You found that you could use your words to calm people down, scare them or rile them up easily. You gain Silvertongued as a trait.

Critical Success: Your upbringing was exceptional!

1. You roamed the woods and the fields as a child, feeling quite at home there and learning its secrets. You gain Briarborn as a trait. You also made friends with an animal that is at home in these lands. Talk with your GM about your Animal Friend.

2. You loved to explore the house, the village, the world around you, and observe. You found spots where you could just look at people. You gain Shadowjack as a trait. At one point in your exploring, you found a Special Treasure. Talk with the GM about what this might be.

3. You noticed that dreams you had often came true, though they were often cryptic and strange. You gain Prophetic Dreamer as a trait.

4. You grew up liking to take things apart and putting them back together again. After a while, you got the understanding to use the learned principles to make your own stuff. You gain Fingersmith as a trait. You actually made a thing you are really proud off. Talk with the GM about Your Own Invention. You gain that as an item.

5. You were strong and agile, helping to protect the house from a young age, trying to catch rats etc. At some point, a traveling knight taught you how to fight. You gain +1 Attack and you gain a Knightly Contact (teacher).

6. You found that you could use your words to calm people down, scare them or rile them up easily. You gain Silvertongued as a trait. You gained a bit of a following and have a Loyal Friend. They accompany you on your journeys, wether you want to or not. Talk with the GM about this friend.

IV. Finishing Up

To round things out, you should now have all you need written on your character sheet. If you do not yet have 10 items on your character sheet (including weapons, armor and the like) roll on this table (Roll 2 dice, the first result denotes the table, the other the place on the table) to fill it out with items you collected during your wanderings.

1. A Bundle of Sturdy Rope

2. Prayer-Beads (A pater-noster)

3. An Amulet of your Patron Saint.

4. A Handkerchief, given by a loved one

5. Carved Wooden Chesspieces, gift from a teacher.

6. A Lantern with Panes of Green Glass.

1. 5 Candles

2. 5 Sticks of Chalk

3. A Small Statue in a Strange Material. (talk with your GM to define it)

4. A Bag of Tea, enough for at least a month of traveling.

5. Strong Smelling Cheese, prized local cheese in a region you recently passed through.

6. A Grappling Hook, which has helped you before to reach places you could not otherwise.

1. A set of clothes and other materials, enough for a Single Type of Disguise.

2. A Psalter

3. A Musical Instrument, small enough to travel with.

3. A Handheld Mirror

5. A Goat, gifted by grateful villagers. Also a Jug of Milk, produced by said goat.

6. A Slightly Burned Doll, memory of a time when you were too late.

1. A Pair of Lucky Dice, a gift from a gambler you saved.

2. A Letter, given to you by a friend to deliver. To whoem?

3. A Keg of Trappist Beer, given in gratitude by monks for aid to their abbey.

4. A Pilgrimage Pin, a token for a pilgrimage fulfilled.

5. A Pot filled with Lard, useful for many things.

6. A Hunting Horn.

1. A Bundle of Furs.

2. A Fishing Pole.

3. A Bottle of Medicine with enough in it for 3 uses.

4. Manacles that have seen some use.

5. A Pot of Bookbinding Glue.

6. A Large Sack.

1. The Relic of a Saint (small)

2. A Map of the Region marking the location of a bandit camp.

3. The Broken Sword of a former companion.

4. A Patchwork Cape, given in thanks by the miner’s wives, who’s husbands you saved from a collapsed mine.

5. A Crown of Daisies, given by a little girl in some village you passed.

6. A Pack of Cards.

TROIKA! Character Set #2 (Version 1)

More Troika!, since that's where my mind's at! Who knows, maybe I'll get to my own d66 table? Probably not. Trying some fancy stuff with specials and new spells. Let me know what you think of it!

1. Angel Amnesiac

You are like a human, but with wings. You have a golden band floating above your head. It’s cracked. You don’t remember anything but your name and what you can do, but not why you can, or why others can’t. Time to find out I guess.

Possessions:

• Cracked Aureole

• Flaming Sword (how do special weapons?)

• Billowing White Robes
• Strangely Melodious Robes

Advanced Skills:

4 - Sword Fighting

3 - Singing

1 - Language: Celestial
1 - Angelic Spell: Fear (Assume frightening presence with loads more wings and loads more eyes and smoke and lightning and holy choruses)
1 - Angelic Spell: Random

1 - Angelic Spell: Random

Special:

Angelic spells and memories are locked until a way is found to repair the aureole. A fun option might be to wait with rolling the random Angelic Spells until this is managed, discovering them together with the character.

Spell List: 1d3 (tens) + 1d6 (singles)

11. Babble
12. Banish Spirit
13. Befuddle (hearing heavenly chorusses in the mind)
14. Coal Resolve
15. Ember
16. Exorcism
21. Fear (so many wings and eyes etc.)
22. Fire Bolt
23. Flash
24. Invisibility
25. Light
26. Peace

31. Presence
32. Sleep
33. Teleport
34. Thunder
35. True Seeing
36. Undo 

2. Initiate in the Mystical Order of Janitors

You look like a normal janitor, but you hold the keys to secret knowledge granted to you by Janus.

Possessions:

• A Mop and Bucket OR A Toolbox

• Blue Coveralls.

• A keychain with 20 keys of different sizes and materials.

Advanced Skills:

2 - Secret Signs (Mystical Order of Janitors)

2 - Small Repairs

3 - Cleaning

1 - Janitorial Magic: Looking Through the Door (Looking into the now, the past, or the future, either here or elsewhere, as long as there is a door or window to look through.
1 - Janitorial Magic: Skeleton Key - The key used can open any lock, if the spell succeeds.

Choose One: 1 - Pole arm Fighting // 1 - Maul Fighting // 1 - Knife Fighting 

Spells:

11. Astral Reach,
12. Breach,
13. Find,
14. Grow,
15. Helping Hands, 

16. Ironhand, 

21. Levitate, 

22. Light, 

23. Lock, 

24. Open, 

25. Protection from Rain, 

26. Quench, 

31. See Through, 

32. Sentry, 

33. Shatter, 

34. True Seeing, 

35. Undo, 

36. Ward.

Special:

Mystical Janitors can use keys to enhance certain spells, if they can be somehow be used as a normal key should in the casting of the spell. 

Roll on each table for each key:

1. Iron: substitutes 1 stamina

2. Iron: substitutes 1 stamina

3. Iron: substitutes 1 stamina

4. Silver: adds +1 to spell skill level

5. Gold: substitute 1d6 stamina

6. Ivory: opens hidden knowledge

1. Small: +2 to spell level, but lesser effect of the spell.

2. Large: Fills a small slot on its own.

3. Antique: opens to the past, but not farther back then the age of the key.

4. Found: looks/opens to another location, on the same sphere.

5. Found in the Humpbacked Skies: looks/opens to to another location, regardless of sphere.

6. Heavy: fills a small slot on its own.

Other keys might be used to different effects, based on the GM’s discretion.

3. Simian Bass Player

You’re a primate that plays the bass.

Possessions:

• Either an Electric Bass or a Contrabass

• A fancy suit with a floral shirt.

• A Knife

Advanced Skills:

3 - Play the Bass

2 - Climb

2 - Etiquette

1 - Knife Fighting

1 - Brawling

1 - Acrobatics

4. Unwilling Messiah

People believe you are the Messiah, and you actually might be, but you just want to sleep in and play video games. You wish they all would just leave you alone. They don’t. Will you get away from your calling or will you succumb?

Possessions:

• Portable Video Game System

• Nondescript Trench Coat

• Soft, Downy Sleeping Pillow

• Cozy Blanket

• A Baseball Bat

Advanced Skills:

3 - Playing Video Games

2 - Sneak

2 - Sleep

2 - Spell: Mystical Visions

1 - Being Pursued by Devoted Followers

New Spell: Mystical Visions:

Every Time the Unwilling Messiah has an exceptional experience, test Mystical Visions. 

Exceptional Experiences include but are not limited to: A Good Night’s Sleep, A Very Fine Meal, Falling in Love, Being Knocked Out, Being Dumped, Receiving a Compliment from Someone You Look Up too, Being Robbed, Watching a Cat Video, …
The Visions might be of things to come, that have already happened or that are happening right now. They might also be a calling by a god or demon or other mystical entity (like the mystical three eyed goat on the top of Mount Granola.)

Special: 

Every time you enter a new location, roll Being Pursued by Devoted Followers to see if you’ve been found out. The GM might include bonuses or negatives for the locations, like if it’s crowded, or if you are not in civilized lands, or …
Remind your GM about is at the start of the first session. After that, it’s their responsibility.

5. Infernal Bureaucrat

You are a devil that likes contracts very much and are traveling the spheres for someone wanting a hellish contract made. You can use the souls gained with these to power your magic.

Possessions:

• A Jar containing 1d6 floating Souls

• Form Fill Contracts (5)

• Parchment (5) and Blood Red Quill

• A shadowy, black cloak

Advanced Skills:

2 - Bureaucracy

2 - Etiquette

1 - Spell: Random

1 - Spell: Random

1 - Spell: Random 

1 - Spell: Random

1 - Spell: Random

1 - Spell: Random

Special:

Infernal Magic can be used by substituting a soul for the cost of stamina. Each regular, human soul used counts as 1d6 stamina (roll when used). Some special souls might give more, some might less.

6. Royal Beautician

Your customers might already be kings, queens and emperors, but you make them look the part.

Possessions:

• A beautycase filled with the tools of your trade (Large)

• Either a Brick Filled Handbag (damage as club) or Brass Knuckles (damage as club)
• A Taser (as Pistolet, but non lethal)

• 100 Business Cards (Small Item)

Advanced Skills:

4 - Trade: Beautician

2 - Gossip

2 - Etiquette

1 - Brawling or Fist Fighting

1 - Pistolet Fighting