The Clubhouse Chronicles 2024 edition! // Clubhouse Banana — Story 2: Visit From a VIP!

After the last adventure I asked my student if her character Arin had anyone special she looked up to, maybe a singer or an actor or someone in a field of knowledge she liked? Maybe an influencer or someone from TV?

She had no-one, so I had to think who my GM character Alfie would find interesting enough to ignore others for, and came up with a friend who is also an astronaut. He's only on earth for a limited amount of time before he needs to head back. His name is Filip. And so our game starts as Filip the Astronaut comes for a surprise visit, but the clubhouse is a big mess. What are they gonna do? And that's the start of our game.

Filip the Astronaut

Behind the Screens Interlude:

I had had no time to prep, but I've run these before. Maybe this made me a little to self assured, but I needed a limited time for Filip to be here before he needed to go back somewhere else. I rolled some dice and came up with him being here for only 9 turns. I ruled that cleaning up the place and making cookies would need 10 successes (I actually ruled that beforehand) and that 2 successes are needed to clean enough for a check on the clock, and that rolling 5 successes was a great success meaning checking off 2 boxes instead of 1.

The way the system works is that you roll a 4 dice to try something uncertain, only 3 if it relates to your problem tag and 6 if it relates to your talent. For most things you need 3 successes, but if you want to work together, all dice from all characters are rolled, drastically improving the chances of success. This is done deliberate since these games revolve around friendship and teamwork. Even if you use a talent, on your own you'll only have about a 50% chance to succeed most of the time.

Anyway, unless she gets Alfie to help, the deck is definitely stacked against her. Let's see how it goes.

Back To The Story:

Alfie immediately sits with his friend and starts talking and listening. Arin starts cleaning up, and tries to convince Alfie to help her, but he could not be convinced. She decided to just keep cleaning on her own, but she could not even clean up 5 of the 10 tick-boxes on the cleanup tracker before Filip had to go again. Filip was sad he didn't have the time to get to know Arin, and Alfi had learned some new things from Filip!

Moral of the Story?

This story is based on the Story of Mary and Martha inviting Jesus over into their house. Mary sits at his feet and listens, while Martha is busy with trying to clean up and make tea and cookies (or something equivalent) for the guests. She gets fed up with her sister not helping her and confronts Jesus Christ about it. Shokingly he takes Mary's side and tells Martha that, while he appreciates her care, Mary made the wiser choice. You can clean and bake every day, but He is here now and will be gone later, the good news he has is very valuable, and will be missed when you are busy. It is better to listen first and then do, rather than immediately and constantly working.

 

RISUS dice mechanics with less counting

 

Risus is not a mathematically complex game, but it would be very ableist to assume that all people are comfortable enough with counting that it doesn’t slow down play. Or patient enough. Why all the maths? We’re here for the silly stories! 

This little idea comes from a question on the RISUS Discord server, where someone asked if there were any house rules for people who don’t want to bother with counting up all the dice to get to the results. I had two ideas, and will try to work them out here.

Idea #1: Highest Die

I don’t think this is a new idea. In fact I think I read it somewhere else before, but I cannot remember where. There is a lot of info on the Risusiverse website. It’s probably somewhere there.

The main idea is that in a conflict, everybody rolls dice, and only the highest dice get compared. Highest wins.

example:
There’s a new colleague at HR (Sarah) and Sylvester immediately wants to try out his charm on her. He thinks he’s sooo smooth. Little did he know who exactly he’s messing with.
Sylvester rolls his The Smoothest Guy Around (1) cliche against Sarah’s Demon Prince of the Seventh Layer of Hell Disguised As A Cute Secretary (6). Her gets a 4 and she gets a 2, 3, 5 and 6. The highest dice from both get compared to each other. So that is Sylvester’s 4 vs. Sarah’s 6.

Sylvester comes up to her and tries his cheesiest pick-up line. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you must be an angel.” She replies in a distorted voice as if many are talking at the same time: “Oh, that was soooo long ago. I’d rather not talk about it. It’s still a sore topic.”. He can feel the voice in his bones and sees her eyes turn completely black as all the electronics in the room start to freak out. He pees himself in fear. Sarah smiles cutely, and resumes in a normal voice. Anything else I can help you with?

That’s simple enough right. But then of course the next question arises. What if it’s a draw? My gut instinct is to say to compare the next highest dice on both rolls. In Sylvester’s case he still wouldn’t be able to win if they tied, because he didn’t even have a die to compare next.

So what about Target Numbers then? They need to be re-done I guess, since you are not adding dice. First thought is that there are only five difficulties that can be tried: 2-6 (a 1 is an automatic success, 2 is easy, 3 is moderate, 4 is challenging, 5 is difficult, 6 is epic). They would need to refereed on a case to case basis though, as it’s not entirely the same with results as a 1 die cliche rolling to try and attempt a TN 30 task.

example:
Sylvester now is determined to figure out what is going on with Sarah. But first, he needs to recover. “Luckily” he’s a Victim of Constant Bullying (3) and figures he will have spare change of clothes in his cubicle, especially after the incident with the baked beans. The GM figures that it’s probable that he has the clothes, seeing the name of the cliche. And sets the difficulty to 2. Sylvester rolls his three dice and gets 2, 3, 6. The highest number succeeds and as such he has a decent spare change of clothes.

Another option could be that even the target numbers are opposed rolls made by the GM. Easy Difficulty rolls would be 1 die, Normal Difficulty 2 dice, Challenging Difficulty 3, Professional 4, Master 5 and Epic 6. Just as with the above idea, it would need to be tailored to the action itself, but it makes you able to attempt something against all odds.

example:
Sylvester has found his clothes and now needs to change into them without the manager noticing that he’s missing. He needs to change speedily. His Victim of Constant Bullying (3) cliche will get him through this again, as he’s quite used to this, but the GM says that a deadline on a project is coming up, and he’s expecting the manager coming to check in soon. He has to move fast. So while it would be a normal difficulty on the regular, the GM bumps it up to a Challenging Difficulty (3).

Sylvester rolls three dice and gets 3, 4, 2

The GM rolls three dice and gets 5, 2, 1

Sylvester’s 4 gets beaten by the GM’s 5

Sylvester changed in the toilet stalls but was still so shaken that him zoning out because of flashbacks to that interaction took him longer. When he returns to his cubicle he finds a note that the manager wants to talk to him. Oh-oh!

If for some reason you’d want to have a gradual success scale, you set the difficulty, either of the two options works, and count the successes. In the first example, all dice at or higher than the TN, in the second comparing each highest die with each other. The more successes, the better the result.

example #1:
We cut back to Sarah as she’s typing away at the computer and getting gradually more bored. She sees the manager angrily writing a note at Sylvester’s cubicle and stomping off. Finally something mildly interesting is happening. She wonders how much chaos she can sow by causing a string of accidents that keep delaying Sylvester from reaching the manager.

To do this she definitely has to roll with her Demon Prince of the Seventh Layer of Hell Disguised As A Cute Secretary (6) cliche. The GM decides that for her, this would be a Challenging Difficulty as she would be trying to keep things hidden. So the target number is 4 and she has six dice to roll. Her eyes turn solid orbs of black and all electronics flicker again as the plays with the local laws of causality and … she rolls 3, 2, 5, 5,1, 5 as she makes it so that Sylvester has to get through 3 potential delays before he can get to the manager. This is because 3 of the dice had a result that equals or beats the target number. The GM asks what kind of distractions Sarah’s player is thinking off. Sarah’s player gives the GM the full reigns of the happenings.

example #2:
Sylvester sees the note and sighs. “Can this day get any worse?” he says. “Oh poor Sylvester,” the Greek Chorus sings, “you have no idea.”

On his way to the manager’s office he has to pass many a cubicle. Out of one of them a lady steps in front of him, blocking the way. “Oh heeey Sylvester”, Sylvia starts, ”you are looking fine today. Is that a new suit?” Sylvia is basically a gender swapped Sylvester that keeps trying to get Sylvester to go on a date with him. Sylvester is not interested. What bad timing! Can Sylvester talk his way out of this situation fast enough to get to the manager?

The GM explains that depending on the roll, the fallout of the situation will be better or worse. Basically, Sylvia has a cliche called Annoyingly Persistent Karen (3) which she will use. If Sylvester cannot beat all three of her dice he will 1. Go on a date with her, 2. to a place of her choosing and 3. in a predetermined couples outfit. (Sarah snickers as she looks on)

Sylvester knows he’s The Smoothest Guy Around (1) and is confident he can talk himself out of this. Sylvester’s player knows this too and knows that he can only hope to beat Sylvia’s highest die with his only die to at least avoid the couples outfit.

He rolls a 2 while Sylvia rolls 3, 1, 2. Time passes as Sylvia keeps him pinned down in flirty conversation and Sylvester has to relent first to the date, secondly to the place (it’s sooo expensive y’all!) and finally even a couples outfit that is completely not his style.
Meanwhile the manager looks out of his aquarium like office, gets cross, takes Sylvester’s file and writes “flirting on company time!”. He looks at it again and underlines it angrily!

Idea #2: Counting Successes

This is stolen from The Pool and games that spawned from it, like Lady Blackbird. 

The main idea is that in a conflict, everybody rolls dice, any dice that come up 4-6 count as a success. The most successes wins.

example:
The first hurdle out of the way (and with a ridiculous and expensive dat that he does not even want as a consequence), Sylvester keeps trying to reach the managers office as soon as possible. He’s not even completely past the next cubicle as a dog comes bounding for him. Fifi, the Half Blind Office Bulldog (4) smells the perfume of Sylvia on Sylvester and wants to play. Luckily, Sylvester is a Dog Person (3) and as such might have a chance to get this over quickly.

Fifi rolls 2, 3, 4, 6 (2 successes) and Sylvester rolls 6, 5, 5 (3 successes) quickly realizing the situation, getting down on a knee, scratching Fifi behind the ear and pointing her to Sylvia. The dog, hearing Sylvester’s voice realizes her mistake and bounds of further down the hallway, near tackling an unsuspecting Sylvia, who was scrolling through her phone, looking at outfits for the date. The manager doesn’t even know what’s happened, but Sarah quirks an eyebrow in amused surprise.

Here as well the question about Target Numbers might arise, but it’s more straightforward than the other one. There might be an optional rule to it as well though, but that would be more of an add-on. The way to do target numbers is to give a set number of successes to get. 1 for easy, 2 for normal, 3 for challenging, 4 for professional, 5 for mastery and 6 for epic difficulties.

example:
Getting out of that one with barely any time lost, there is a third and last hurdle Sylvester must face before reaching the managers office. As he closes in all of a sudden food is flying through the hallway, followed by lunchboxes, thermos’ and slurs about one’s mother. These are Phil and Rick, and they always have these types of fights. The trick is getting through without getting hit or involved in any way.

The DM sets this difficulty at 3 (challenging). As a Victim of Constant Bullying (3) Sylvester might have a chance at avoiding a fight, but he might just prove to be a better target himself.

Sylvester rolls 6, 6, 1. He almost made it, but alas. Just as he thinks he got away with it he hears “Hey SYLVESTER! Your mom brought your lunch. It was very tasty! Here are some leftovers!”, followed by a PB&J sandwich thrown at him sullying his suit (for the second time today!). He quickly makes his getaway and arrives in the manager’s office, safe from the bullies, smeared with PB&J and shaking.

The optional thing here is that —either through circumstances or because the (in)appropriateness of the cliche— the numbers to get to roll a success could be skewed. If it would be easier than normal you have to roll 3-6 for example, and if it’s more difficult 5-6! It could be even worse or better by needing to only roll 2’s (1’s are an auto-success) to succeed or so difficult you only succeed on 6’s!

example:
Now in the office, Sylvester is confronted with his manager, who is looking real upset. His sullied suit isn’t making things easier for him (+1 to number needed to succeed) and the time he needed to get here, being observed by the manager as flirting with colleagues (another +1 to number needed to succeed) makes only 6’s be a success.

Making a good first impression is gonna be difficult. Since the boss is already upset with him, the GM sets the difficulty of making a good impression on a sliding scale. 2 successes is not fired yet. 3 successes is getting a chance to explain, 4 successes is somehow being believed, at 5 successes he even feels sorry for you, and at 6 successes you might even get a raise for enduring all this hardship!

Sylvester can choose one of two approaches. One is being The Smoothest Guy Around (1) which is not going to help him one bit here. But he can try to play it cool. The other option is being a Victim of Constant Bullying (3) which would be playing the pity card. Now while it would be very funny for Sylvester to still try to play it cool, after all this I think the pity card will be the way to go.

He rolls a 2, 4 and 6, meaning he only has one success, and he needed at least two to not be immediately fired. He can go and clean out his desk after being chewed out by his manager!

Another optional thing you could do here (probably instead rather than combined) is having complications and bonuses. In traditional gamer language critical hits and critical fumbles/misses. In this case every 6 is a bonus (something beneficial happens, wether or not you succeed) and every 1 is a complication (something happens that complicates things for you, wether or not you fail the roll). If there are multiple of these in a roll, you could say that bonuses and complications cancel each other out (the success or fail of them still counts, just the additional effects cancel each other out), or fully embrace the chaos and come up with something for each and every one of them. (For pro-improvisors or groups where the players are as happy to brainstorm for result ideas as the GM would be). 

example:
Gathering his stuff from his cubicle, Sylvester has his cardboard box with various things in it. A desk lamp, a potted plant and framed pictures. Now he has to do the Walk of Shame to the elevator doors. To see what this does to his ego, and wether he can do some damage control, he has to roll. Not feeling confident or smooth, he chooses to take the more anxious route, walking it as someone who’s used to the unfairness of life. He’s rolling his Victim of Constant Bullying (3), and the GM makes this entire thing an apposed conflict against the Walk of Shame (2), the walk of shame would have been stronger if the verdict hadn’t been so obviously unfair.

Round 1: Leaving the Cubicle, let’s roll.


Sylvester rolls 5, 6, 2 vs. The Walk with 1, 5

Sylvester has two successes, while The Walk has only one, setting The Walk to only 1 die!
Additionally, Sylvester has a Bonus and the Walk rolled a complication. This means that not only does Sylvester get to save his reputation for now, but the walk of shame has a complication happen to it making it even less of a shameful walk. The GM has to think for a bit and finally narrates:

Sylvester walks and Phil and Rick start bullying him and laughing at him again. “You gonna go cry to your mommy now?” Phil asks mockingly? “You better use simple words, Sylvester,” Rick joins in, “‘cause I heard your mom is sooo dumb, that…” and he gets interrupted, because Sylvester, having nothing to lose anymore, just punches him in the face. (This is the bonus.)

Sylvia, seeing that cries out “Yeah Sylvester, they had it coming for a while!” and starts applauding, which gets the attention of the others, including Sarah, the Demon Prince in Disguise. She’s having conflicting feelings here. She enjoys a good downfall, but Sylvester has proven more entertaining that she thought he would be. Maybe she should become his Guardian Demon for a bit, making sure she can torment him for longer? That would be fun! (The Compication)

Round 2: Victim of Constant Bullying (3) vs. Walk of Shame (1)


Sylvester rolls 3, 4, 2 vs. The Walk’s 4, 1

Both have one success, so it’s a draw, but the walk has a complication. The GM rules that in this case it breaks the tie in favor of Sylvester. Sylvester enters the elevator to an office inexplicably giving a standing ovation!

Credits roll for Episode One of The Lady At HR Is A Demon Prince, a new sitcom.

After Credits scene:
Sarah walks into the manager’s office with a stack of paper. “I noticed that you just fired a very competent employee.” She says, “It would be a shame”, she continues as the lights start to flicker and electronics glitch out, “if he were to be fired. I compiled a list of documents to convince you.”
“Well, I’m the manager! I do what I want!”, he starts to argue back. At which Sarah smiles and gestures with her hand in the air and an old timey parchment scroll appears. “I could always let you read the *other* peace of paperwork between us, if you want?”, at which the manager becomes white as a sheet.
Cut to black, end scene.

 

Free Roll 4 Shoes Adventure: DISASTER at Princess Pumpernickel’s Magical Birthday Cooking Competition! (version 1)

A mashed potato monster found on the internet

 DISASTER
at Princess Pumpernickel’s
Magical Birthday Cooking Competition

***
Princess Pumpernickel (7 years old) organized her yearly Magical Birthday Cooking Competition and you, for better or for worse, have joined in to this Magical Masterchef competition, where the winner gets incredible riches and the loser will spend a year in the dungeons!

This year a disaster happens when a magical mash potatoes and sausages golem has gone rogue and started to wreak havoc! So far, the princess is still amused, but things might go bad for you if you cannot put an end to this golem … in the most entertaining way possible.

You are some type of Magical Cook with enough expertise, or such an inflated ego, that you would at least think of standing a chance and not end up in the dungeons.

***

Base System: Roll for Shoes (https://rollforshoes.com/)
Extra’s: Choose a background that informs how easy or difficult your actions might be. You can choose or roll d66 (2d6: first die is first digit, second die is second digit) on the list or invent your own (GM fiat). There can be no two of the same. The person who celebrated their birthday most recently gets to pick or roll first.

11. Mash-o-mancer: You start with a sack of magical potatoes. How are they magical? The GM might tell you, or ask you, depending on how he feels.


12. Pastamancer: You start with Grandma’s magical cookbook. There’s no recipes in there, but grandma’s ghost will yell at you when you do things wrong and tell you to measure with your soul.


13. Sushi Shaman: You start with an aquarium on wheels, in which a fresh mermaid is captured. Does she help, or is she an ingredient?


14. Garlic Warlock: You start with a wreath of mystical garlic.


15. Cheezard: You start with a giant wheel of Elemental Emmental cheese.

16. Soup Witch: You start with a magical, walking cauldron. It has a bit of an attitude.

21. Meatball Mystic: You start with a heap of Ground Unicorn Meat.


22. Flame Wizard: Master of the grill, you have eternal charcoal, stolen from the depths of hell’s ever-burning fire. Sometimes it screams when it burns.


23. Tofumancer: You start with silky smooth tofu made from actual clouds.


24. Salsa Salamander: You are a magical fire-lizard that specializes in hot-sauce. You start with 1d6 other-worldly peppers of increasing intensity. 


25. Vegan Vampire: You start with a barrel of ethically sourced blood from lab-grown meat. And sunglasses, for obvious reasons.

26. Juice Maguus:  You can make juices out of everything, even things that usually cannot be juiced. You start with a magical juicer, which may or may not be your pointy magic hat.

31. Savvy Summoner: You actually don’t know how to cook, but the creatures you can summon can, if you can control them enough to tell them *clearly* what to do.


32. Decanting Enchanter: You know all about wine, and start with 1d6 bottles of wines that are literally out of this world. Either the GM tells you where they are from or you come up with them yourself.


33. Cocktail Conjurer: You start with some magical shakers and a variety of strangely shaped glasses, straws, umbrella’s, etc. The shakers give you the ability to distill emotions. Now only to find a way to capture them!


34. Mushroom Goblin: In the deep and magical caves of the goblin kingdom, strange mushrooms grow with a multitude of strange effects. You have brought 1d6 different ones.


35. TV-Show Chef: You are not magic, you are just very entertaining when cooking good food. You start with a signed version of your latest cookbook.

36. Sauce-Medium: You perform Sauce-Seances in which you contact grandmothers from the past to learn their secret sauce recipes. Sometimes they seem a bit senile though.

41. Pastry-Prince(ss): You are surrounded by a cloud of little winged fairies that will follow your every command. You actually never cooked on your own before, and wouldn’t know which part of the knife to hold. You are very good at giving orders though.

42. Tomaturge: You have magical tomatoes. They are the size of basketballs and taste very fruity.


43. The Easter Bunny: You start with unlimited chocolate eggs. Where do they keep coming from? 


44. Jamming Gnome: Not only do you make some great jams and compotes, but you also make some good music while doing it! You start with 


45. Pickled Homunculus: You are a pickled homunculus and float in a big jar of brine, but are able to come out if needed. You are made out of pickled vegetables, which, in a pinch, can be used as ingredients.

46. Chocolate Charmer: You are able to instill feelings in your chocolates. You start with a crate full of raw cacao.

51. Fruit Ninja: You have two very sharp ninja blades and a box of various fruits to slice dramatically in the air.


52. Ghost of a Restaurant Cook: You can cook ghost-food, from ghost-ingredients (the ghost of a pig, the ghost of a carrot, …) dripping with ectoplasm! But even handling regular food or utensils is very challenging!


53. A Drunk: You don’t really know what’s going on, or how you got here. You vaguely remember signing something? The only thing you really know is that things will become more difficult to do if you don’t get a drink soon, because the headache is coming! You start with an empty bottle of whiskey.


54. Barbecue Beast: You are a Minotaur that’s into grilling! Skewers, steaks, drumsticks, fish, sausages, and some more exotic meats. You start with a fully plucked griffon, ready to be dressed, marinated and grilled. And a grill of course.


55. Goblin Bug Eater: You are a goblin that specializes in preparing food from bugs. The goblins even breed some special types of magical bugs. You start with 1d6 Strange Goblin Bugs. the GM will either tell you what they are, or ask you.

56. Drowned Pirate Captain: As a drowned pirate captain living at the bottom of the sea, you’ve become quite good at making sea-food. You start with 1d6 seafood treasures of the deeps. the GM will either tell you what they are, or ask you.

61. Magical Bakery Construct: You are a magically constructed being that is used as a baker. You start with a built-in oven and a vial of raw magic.


62. Barista Badger: You are a walking, talking badger that can make all-organic, natural coffee.You start with a sack of mystical coffee beans from your enchanted badger glade. 

63. Herbalist Harpy: You start with rare and magical herbs and spices. You usually use them to make calming teas and the like, but who knows what you can use them for in this competition.


64. Heavenly Cook: You are literally an angel. You start with a bag full of golden spoons to eat rice porridge with, as is tradition.


65. Garden Gnome: You are a gardening gnome and can make a pretty good salad! You start with a wheelbarrow of home grown garden vegetables.

66. The Muffin Man: You are really good at making walking, talking cookies, muffins, cupcakes and the like.

***

The arena consists of a circular area divided in six parts revolving around the Royal booth (A large tower with a 360° balcony) where the princess and her family sit. Once a recipe is done, it is brought up to her to taste it and hear her verdict. There are some guards there protecting her.

The full event will take 3 hours, with demands, surprises and complications brought on by the princess each half an hour segment.

THE PRINCESS DEMANDS… 

11. … an explanation on why you are doing what you are doing. Your booth mechanically rises to meet her at the balcony and explain why you are doing things the way you are doing it, or why you have chosen a certain ingredient.


12. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that would go really well.


13. … that you make it sparkly.


14. … that your dish can move.


15. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that would be difficult to incorporate.


16. … that you use a specific ingredient. She generously provides it to you. It is something that is near impossible to incorporate.



21. … that everybody dances!


22. … that everybody sings!


23. … that you tell an exciting story about the brave and beautiful princess Pumpernickel as you cook!


24. … that you do a fancy trick!


25. … that you tell a joke!


26. … that you start over from scratch!


THE PRINCESS IS GENEROUS


31. She gives you one of her guards as a helper.


32. She let’s you choose one of 1d6 ingredients to have added to your table.


33. She let’s you choose two of 2d6 ingredients to have added to your table.


34. She let’s you choose three of 3d6 ingredients to have added to your table.


35. She gives you a compliment.


36. Your starting resources are replenished.



41. You are in the spotlight! They all focus on you!


42. More time allowance! (an extra round)


43. More time allowance! (two extra rounds)


44. Coffee break!


45. She will invent a song about you on the spot!


46. You get a signed invitation to the ball!



THE PRINCESS IS BORED

51. Release the monkeys! (they steal)


52. The Floor is Lava! (Literally)


53. Make it dark! (Magical Darkness)


54. Zero Gravity Field! (everything starts floating and becomes more difficult to handle)


55. Thorny Vine Sprouts! (they obstruct and pierce)


56. Confetti Cannons! (colored paper and plastic falls from the sky)



61. Flood it! (Water starts to rise. When will it stop?)


62. Release the clowns! (they pester, mock and sabotage)


63. Switch tables with another player of her choice! You now work on that recipe!


64. Random ingredient is banned now!


65. Only use one arm, the others on your back!


66. Stand on one leg!

***

An unforeseen complication is the Mashed Potato Monstrosity now roaming around the arena, looking to devour and assimilate. If any of the players have rolled the Mash-o-mancer, this is their creature gone wrong. Otherwise it’s an NPC contestant. Optionally, play without the mishap and see what unfolds during play.

To see who the monster targets for the round, roll 3d6: 

3. The Princess’ Tower


4. Contestant 1


5. Contestant 1


6. Contestant 2


7. Contestant 2


8. Contestant 3


9. Contestant 3


10. Contestant 4


11. Contestant 4


12. Contestant 5

13. Contestant 5

14. Contestant 6

15. Contestant 6


16. The Live Audience

The monster tries to engulf and absorb, it can also try to terrify and slam things to try and break and destroy things. It needs 6 hits to be destroyed. When hit, a little bit is split off and runs of on its own, trying to cause havoc as well. It is only one hit to defeat that, and it does not split further.

***

DISCLAIMER: This is a first version, untested idea. I hope to test it some time and then see if I can make it into something for my itch.io store. 

Weird Idea #4: Full Dixit Improv

Disclaimer: This is not a new idea

The Concept: Completely No Prep Game

So I got to test out the "You are a Wolf" game I typed up in a haze of creative energy, and it worked really well. It was very improvisational, which I like. (It did drain me of energy and brain power after 3 hours of full improv) 

It did make me think about what other ways to do a full no-prep improv game. And I just got the idea that maybe we can do this with a deck of Dixit card. I'm not sure if Dixit is still very well known, but ten years ago it was pretty popular as a game (not an RPG), and as a tool for story-based RPG's. Some thought to use it as an oracle, others as a propt for inspiration. I'm thinking the latter, especially with something like Roll 4 Shoes (or Risus, or The Pool, or even Fate) which have room in character creation for interpretation.

This way we could get together, pull some cards from the deck (or go through the deck and choose them, not all dixit cards are equally easy to interpret for a specific situation) and interpret them. But due to the possibly only one-shot nature of these types of game, rolling with the random results seems more interesting (I have a lot of dixit sets, and they all got mixed up). While this could be enough of a prompt for this game, let's see if we can't make up a procedure to follow, maybe with some examples.

The Procedure

Karel, Steven, Esther and Malik come together to play a game. They come together around a table and go over their preferred safety procedures (For this, I suggest the ones from Microscope). Then they will play the game. Karel is the GM and tells us that we are going to make our own setting up on the spot. 

To do this there are two immediate options I can see working. Either he draws one card and everybody interprets one thing about it. This can be a close interpretation or some wild connection you make because of your own experiences, biasses and preferences. The other immediate idea is that everyone draws a card and uses it to fill in some setting details. In both cases there should be the option to pull more cards if you can no longer draw upon the card you have or think it doesn't suit you. This goes on until you have a little prompt and some idea of the setting that can inform character creation. This can happen in a freeform kind of way, or you could use a list of questions to answer. Something like this:

• Where are we?
• When are we?
• What is unique or special here?
• Who are we, generally? (what kind/type of people)
• What are we doing?
• Who or what will challenge us?

Write all of these on some type of setting creation paper. If playing FATE, that system actually has a worksheet for this where you can easily log this type of information. (For Fate, rather than this list of questions, use the form to ask the questions, generating the issues, the faces and places, etc.) While this is fun in itself, try to keep it relatively short, so you can get to the actual playing of the game.

Most of the players know the FATE system, and Karel has experience running it, so they all brought their Fate Dice, pencils, FP tokens and a pad of Post-it's to use for creating aspects etc. He suggests using the Dixit cards as prompts to fill out the empty spots on the Game Creation Worksheet. They draw their first card, and think about what questions it might answer, or what they can fill in just from the card.

The card in question

Karel immediately has an idea for the Setting/Tone field on the Setting Creation Worksheet. Magical Pastoral Steampunk. What that means exactly, we don't entirely know yet, but we know there will be steampunk elements, magic is involved with the steampunk and there is a pastoral feel to it, maybe even Ghibli-esque. Esther notices that the sheep are being transformed into clouds by the machine, and that that might be a problem or issue. The group agrees that this is probably a current issue, not particularly an impending one. Since they are only going to play one session, an impending issue might not be relevant, though if it comes up in the pulling of the cards, this might still give some interesting details. Steven then pipes up that a good place and a good face would be a farm and its farmers. They would probably be distressed. This card doesn't give a lot to go on for working them out, but we write it down as things to keep in mind. We agree that it might be time for another card. We keep this one on the table because it might link up well with another one, but we will pull a new card since not all is filled in yet.

The result of the first card with the second one displayed.

Malik drew it and immediately has an idea. "What is the problem at hand is that the farmer's son has gone on a journey to try and solve the problem, and the farmer is worried. Maybe he doesn't even know why his son has gone, but hey, he has a schoolbag with him, perhaps he never showed up after school? So maybe the 'Sheep are being turned in clouds' is the impending problem, but the current issue is the missing child?" Everybody agrees that this seems like a good idea. Their characters, whoever they are, will probably be searching for the child. Steven reminds everyone that one of the safeties people have written down is children being harmed, so we will keep in mind that the child will be able to be found in relatively safe circumstances, and make the changes to the sheet. Karel asks for a name for the child. Esther offers Jonathan, and it is written down. 

Looking at the faces and places, Jonathan is written down, but the aspect/issue at hand there needs to be filled in. What do we know about Jonathan? Is he brave or stubborn? Is he someone who cannot stand injustice? That last one strikes a chord and is written down. Looking at the other faces and places Steven pipes up again and asks, "So, who are we playing? Are we his family, looking for him or are we somehow hired to do this?" Karel adds, "Well, the pastoral Ghibli type story seems to suggest we're everyday people being thrust into an adventure, right? So, I don't think we're hirelings, at least not all of us. If someone really wants to play one, that is good for me, but I think we should be down-to-earth people. Perhaps his family (and the workers from the farm) or his classmates, having decided it's up to us, because it's clear the grown ups can't do it?" Esther likes this idea. "A mercenary being hired by a bunch of kids, trying to manage them and having more trouble with them than with the actual mission at hand seems like a lot of fun!" The previous faces and places are maybe no longer needed, is decided, and they are erased. And looking at the two cards, two possible locations for scenes are written down as they are clear on the cards. "A giant, thorny, beanstalk to the clouds." and "A cloud making-machine near Jonathan's farm." 

This could be enough to get started on Character creation, following the same method of using the cards to inspire what aspects to make. I think I'd like to at least make one more location, if not two, to have as possible scenes. I think I'd add that there's some type of proof that Jonathan's been near the cloud making machine or something, which as a GM I'd make up as character's are making their own characters. Then everyone would get new drinks, we'd go over characters and the Fate Trio together and get started. I might add that we'd talk about how magical everyone might be, but seeing as it's Ghibli-esque, probably the kids are not and the hireling might be, but doesn't have to be. We'd have to figure out what type of magic, which could also be informed by the cards, etc.   

The final result

The structure of the Fate Game Creation Worksheet really helps, and can really be used for any other ruleset. I'd be down to play this game for sure! There would be a part two "Character creation" to this blogpost, but it would just be more of the same, so I will end it here.

The Clubhouse Chronicles 2023 - Episode 4: With A Little Help Of My Friends

 The last one in the series, where the friends will need to work together to an end, just like the four friends of the lame man had to work together to get the man to Jesus, by making a hole in the roof!

Next week is fall vacation and with that a new chapter of the lessons will start, which means the Clubhouse Chronicles are done for now, after this session report. I do feel like, when I find the time, the energy and the focus, I could really turn this into something to publish. Unfortunately I rarely have all three of these at the same time.

Anyway, we only got to this one in one school, no fault to the player in school #2, but there was a day off, which meant that we couldn't get the game in before the story could be told, and playing the game only to remember it still after a week-long vacation is a tough call for the kid.

So we only got to close things off in the Movie Bunker, and the story of Tom, Tom, Tom and Toby (and more).

THE STORY OF TOM, TOM, TOM AND TOBY

The kids had made new characters and this resulted in us having a bunch of player characters with the same name, which I let fly because it was funny. And of course, gotta keep things moving if you only have about half an hour.

Tom (the human) was in the woods with Tom (the cat) and Tom (the dog). Unfortunately Human Tom was not very careful and fell from the tree. He broke his wrist and foot and needed to be helped since he could not move. Cat Tom and Dog Tom had a big problem, they didn't have hands to build something with or voices to call the doctor with. But Tom the Cat had an idea that had worked before (though I'm not sure I remembered to record it in these reports) The mobile Tom's raced to the clubhouse and Cat Tom used his claws to write the problem on the wall. For some reason he can read and write! 

Wilfried and Evy rushed ahead, as did Toby the dog. They called Doctor Apple who could not come because she was simply too busy. So they decided to build a sled-type thing that the dogs (Tom and Toby) could pull to the doctor. Working together they were able to get there just in time for the bell.

Happy End! See ya next year.

Weird Idea #3: You Are A Wolf

THE FIRST HOWL: In which a wolf howls at the moon to tell her what the general idea is.

Again a picture on social media sparks an idea in my weird noggin, and I can't stop thinking about it. I hope this post will get it out of my system.

I came across this on Instagram on the massive.archive account, which is all kinds of inspiring images.
Do check it out. Apparently the original quote is from ― Clarissa Pinkola Estés in Women Who Run With the Wolves

Anyway. Use this list as a general rule for how Wolves behave and decide how well your furry, toothy, wolfy self fits into that list, or how deviant from it you are. Use a very simple resolution mechanic for play. I suggest something like Roll 4 Shoes or 50/50 and tinker from there if need be. The system isn't the interesting thing here, these general wolf rules for life are. They, and your wolf's interaction with them will provide the drama.

THE SECOND HOWL: In which the wolf ask the moon what it means to be a wolf.

So you're wolves ... now what? Good question, here are some questions in return to help your group decide what they find interesting or important. Decide also if there are things you do not want to see and howl these at each other. Be safe.

• Are you all in the same pack? If so, who is the leader of the pack? What are your roles in the pack? If not, how do your packs relate? What is your history? Roll some dice or otherwise resolve it if no resolution can be found through discussion. The roles in the pack(s) might already be a good source of drama to begin a game.

• Where are you? Probably a forest of some kind, but is it dark, wild and rampant, or is it tamed and being encroached by humanity on all sides? Has a disaster recently happened, like a flood or a fire, that might have changed things or attitudes?

THE THIRD HOWL: In which the moon, from her high vantage point, howls back what's in the wolves' path, for well or for woe.

Let's be a bit fanciful and call the GM the Moon here. Place obstacles, dilemma's or other interesting scenes in front of the pack(s) to see how a fulfilling story emerges from this cocktail. Give them opportunities to live out the General Wolf Rules For Life in the picture, but sometimes make living that Wolf Live challenging.

1. EAT: Give them interesting prey, or sudden strange competition, or an unexplained abundance (or rumors of it further ahead).

2. REST: Make moments of rest opportunities to develop relations and deepen your understanding of the pack and its (perhaps changing) hierarchies. At times, make finding rest difficult, a price to be cherished.

3. ROVE IN BETWEEN: Where do they rove to, what do they find of interest, be it curious, beneficial or horrific? Give reasons to rove. Is the prey dying out? Is there sickness or disease? Maybe Human hunters?

4. RENDER LOYALTY: Give opportunities to the wolves to prove themselves loyal. Test loyalties. Where do your wolves' loyalties really lie?

5. LOVE THE CHILDREN: What does it mean to love the children? Protect the children? Prepare the children? Teach the children? How can things happen to the children?

6. CAVIL IN MOONLIGHT: Have a meeting under the moon where, as in a senate, discussion is had. Let different positions clash, let nervous posturing, growling and pacing take place as the grayest of wolves have differing stances or the younger ones want to let themselves be known. Wolfish politics.

7. TUNE YOUR EARS: Look out for danger or cries for help, from prey, pack or foe alike. Find things out. Hear what others have to say, and what they really want to say.

8. ATTEND TO THE BONES: Especially in the difficult times, when prey is hard to come by, attend to the bones, and eat their marrow. Dig deep and find the hidden strength. Attend the bones as well to sharpen tooth and fang, so as to be stronger and more deadly.

9. MAKE LOVE: Find a mate and raise a litter, make the pack grow. But what is the right mate, and are all pups good for the pack?

10. HOWL OFTEN: Let your voice be heard, communicate, even from afar. 

The Clubhouse Chronicles 2023 - Episode 3: The Disaster

 After the cleaning and learning adventures of last episode our friends find ourselves faced with a disaster, except, it's not them directly, but one of their friends who is in trouble. Will they help their friend in need? How will they do that? And will they stubbornly break out of my "real world slice of life setting" approach to this game? 

(The answer to that last question is yes. I guess slice of life needs some action or sci-fi at some points in its run.)

This week's adventure revolves around a BIG PROBLEM that someone they know (or they are currently not playing) has. They hear about it, and seeing the helplessness of their friend's situation, hopefully they will come to the rescue.

This will then be linked to the story of the Raising of Lazarus where our recurring characters from the last story (Mary and Martha) ask Jesus for help with their sick brother, who is also His friend. (What he did will surprise you!) 

There's a lot going on in this story, but we're focussing on friendship and helping your friends, which is kind of slightly besides the actual point of the story, but thus dictate the lesson plans.

THE MOVIE BUNKER: Missing Puma!

In the first school I gratefully reached for a problem that was created in the first session, where the hunters that hunted for Super Ryan the Puma had narrowed down the location of where he's at to the forest the Movie Bunker is in. Since no-one was playing Super-Ryan and took my chance and pounced on this problem (Kind of like a Puma. See what I did there?) and told them that they noticed that Super-Ryan's food bowl was staying full for a few days now...

Strange...

And so our friends, some of them new, head out to the forest to try and find him. They find tracks that lead to a cave and there find some hunters that are discussing how much a Puma's pelt can be worth. They split up and while some, including Toby the dog, distract the oafish goons, others go and get the Puma out of his cage! A big celebration is had!

THE CHURCH ATTIC: High Maintenance!

In the other school I had doctor Apple check in again on the pastor with the broken foot, only to have her car not start again. What a disaster! She's got more patients waiting on her! Apparently the solution is obvious to Waïl. "I call my robot motorcycle".

uhm... I guess? We didn't establish it beforehand, but this was a kind "Yes, And" situation.

Sure, he gets there, but now what? Well, turns out that the robot is a good mechanic, besides being good at "Going Fast", well, mechanic isn't a technical talent, but he rolled well. And working together with Waïl, he was able to fix the car and the doctor could visit her patients. She also got a giant cake to reward the helpers and a party was had (the ban on candy being lifted for once).

The Clubhouse Chronicles 2023 - Episode 2: The Visit

 After dealing with a sick or wounded friend in their clubhouse, and comparing it to how Jesus of Nazareth helped his friend's sick relative, we now move on to the next story, to compare it to another bible story.

This time they will get a visit from someone that can teach them some new skills, but the clubhouse is a mess and needs to be cleaned. How will they deal with it? This will link up to the story where Mary and Martha host Jesus in their home.

School #1: The Movie Bunker

First off, Super Ryan kept in hiding and did not see play this game. Instead his player made a new character, a bulldog called Toby. I guess humans are too boring to him.

Evy's character just played Evy again and I played Wilfried again, but only as a background character, since they are already with two and don't really need the third friend for things to be interesting. In this episode, having a GM-PC actually worked against me in this group, since it took some of the gravitas of the dilemma at the center of the episode away from it.

Anyway, Evy, being a singer, gets a letter that a famous Belgian kids-pop group called K3 wants to visit her at her clubhouse. They heard she likes to sing and want to hang out with her and maybe teach her some things.

The Pop-Group in Question

And so it happened, they came over, but the Movie Bunker was still a whole mess and could they host them when everything is a mess? They really wanted to come in though as they had heard rumors of an escaped Puma being spotted in the area. (A consequence I carried over from last episode.)

And so in they came and Evy and Wilfried started cleaning up while the pop-stars were distracted by the cute little doggy. There was a timer though, and an amount of mess to get through (I would change the numbers to make it harder now, in hindsight) which I made clear (the pop-group had a show later that day). So after a while Evy starts to hang out with them and they teach her some dancing and some other tricks that I don't recall, while Toby and Wilfried keep cleaning up. In the end Wilfried was the only one cleaning while Evy and Toby were learning new tricks (and talents) from the V.I.P.'s. 

See how it took away some of the burden. Maybe I should've let Wilfried get more upset that he ended up cleaning all alone at the end, but I was in the moment, and excited for my players...

I had planned to end it there, but they asked if they could go to the concert with the group, and that was such a nice finally. They were even called up the stage for the encore and did a number, that was televised, and gained the V.I.P. status for themselves. Great cheers were had.

I think in a next run, I should focus more on the dilemma at hand, making the choice actually hard for them.

School #2: The Church Attic

Everyone stayed the same here, characters wise. Tibo for the pupil and Grietje for me. Having a GM-PC here was good, as there would be no other possibility for team-work.

Here the visitor was a friend of Tibo, called Wail, who was in the same soccer team. They wanted to practice for the game the next day, but Wail (pronounce "wa-heel" I guess?) didn't have much time and the attic was a mess. And so they showed some of the things to the side, with Grietje doing most, so that Tibo and Wail could get some training in. They also learned from each other, receiving new talents and then they got to show them off in the actual soccer game, where I let the pupil roll dice for all the players on the field at once (I think it were 24 dice in total) versus me for the other team, which did not have their edge of practice (I think 22 dice). They clearly won, and rolling handfuls of dice was great fun (luckily I had a container to roll them in).

Next time, a very bad thing happens!

The Clubhouse Chronicles 2023 - Episode 1: In need of Medical Assistance

Wheeeeeeeeeeeelp! Time flew away from me and this blog was collecting cobwebs like nobody's business! I thought to post more in the vacation times, but I actually found a TTRPG group laying one-shots in a nearby city that I started frequenting reasonable regularly, and the rest gotten up by household catch-up and spending time with my lovely wife. But now I'm back, because I'm playing games in class again, and that's my main jam on this blog, so it's time for Actual Play Reports again!

We're starting this year with the one that works best, but that I still have to write down for other people to use. FRIENDS OF THE CLUBHOUSE. I changed the dice mechanic because I lost my heaps of six sided dice somewhere at the end of the last school year. But other than that, the concept is the same.

Some friends set up a club house, where they come together. The clubhouse itself, as well as the friends have a strength (or talent) and a weakness. When using your talent, you can use more dice and when working together, you can roll all your dice together and add them up. The story prompts are still related to the Bible story we will be working with after the game.

This year I work in (only) two schools, which means that there will be two clubhouses reacting to the same stories. The age of the players is 7-8 years old (for the children) and 39 (for the teacher).

The Clubhouses

School #1: The Movie Bunker (2 pupils, 1 teacher)

The clubhouse here is a Bunker deep in the woods. Its benefit is that it has a movie theater, while the disadvantage is that it's far away from everyone. The friends we start with are:

Evy, a black haired, black eyed girl who likes to wear pink. Her talent is singing and her problem is that she's not good at drawing.

Super Ryan (three guesses what the player's name is), who is a puma that escaped the zoo. His talent is hiding and escaping (I grouped this together) and his problem is that they're still looking for him.

Wilfried (everybody calls him Friet, which is dutch for french-fry) who is an extremely tall boy. His talent is cooking and his problem is being too tall for most things.

School #2: The Church Attic (1 pupil, 1 teacher)

The clubhouse is in the attic of the church. It has the benefit of having a playstation, but as a drawback there's no candy allowed. The friends we start with are:

Tibo, who has a talent for football (soccer) but is poor.

Grietje, who is good at investigating nature but is bad at reading and writing.

***

Episode One: The sick friend.

In which a friend falls ill or otherwise in medical trouble and the friends are asked what they do about it. This will be followed up in the following lesson hour by the story of Jesus healing Peter's sick Mother in Law. (Matthew 8:14-15)

In the first school there are two friends without my GM-pc, so I let my character fall ill while in the clubhouse of the bunker. Now what will Wilfrieds friends do?

As it stands, his human friend Evy (a shy player, red.) didn't know what to do, so Super Ryan, the Escaped Puma decided to go to the doctor, but he needed to be careful that he wasn't spotted by the Zoo people still looking for them. He was not very successful at that, and he needed to hide.

Meanwhile, Evy decided to try and call the doctor, as she was waiting and nothing was really helping or happening except for her making soup. She was able to reach Doctor Apple (Doctor Apple is a recurring character through the years of playing these games, red.) who came immediately.

Super Ryan seeing the lights go on decides to go home. I ask if he's sure. Does he know what's happening? He looks at me, thinking for just a heartbeat. "I can smell it, I think, that the doctor is going to our bunker." he says. "Oh, sure", I reply, with a laugh, and roll with it, since it actually helps us stick together.

He gets home but finds that being an escaped dangerous animal is a bigger problem than he would have thought, in this slice of life type setting. (He previously played a knight character in a Troika game. Different feel completely.) He finds that he has to hide to not scare away the doctor, while the doctor works on Wilfried.

Wilfried heals up and the doctor is befriended and is available to pick up as a PC in the next games. Due to rolling the maximum amount on a searching roll, Evy gained (or rather discovered) a new talent: Cooking.

Super Ryan's player decides that next game he'll want to play something less difficult than a Puma. Like a dog. We'll see how that goes (well, I kinda already know, as we've already played the second episode, but I can't seem to find the time to type these up).

In the second school there's only one pupil, so to encourage friendship and working together, I played along and let someone else fall ill. Since their clubhouse is in the attic of a church I had the Pastor working below, decorating the church with streamers and stuff and falling down from a ladder, hitting his knee, unable to move it. I ask the kid what the pastor's name is. "Mohammed", he immediately says. The screams of pain alert the characters Grietje and Tibo. They go down and try to help. 

Tibo runs for the doctor (with soccer as a talent he could roll 3 dice, but could not beat a 10, so he wasn't there very quickly, but not too late either) and tells her (Doctor Apple again) what happened (incorrectly, but not too much off the mark that she should bring the wrong stuff). They get ready to go over to the church.

Meanwhile at the church Grietje tries to find an ice pack or other materials with which to help the man, but she can not (and I could not roll high for the life of me) crawling into a corner and crying. This is what Tibo and Doctor Apple find when they arrive. Tibo tries to comfort Grietje while Doctor Apple works on Pastor Mohammed. While Doctor Apple is an automatic success since none of the involved characters are players, Tibo has to roll to try and calm down Grietje, failing miserably for multiple rolls, resulting in her running away, him going looking for her, visiting her house and looking with the parent, only to find her hiding and crying in an abandoned treehouse in the forest. 

Tibo speaks some questionable words of wisdom that I can no longer immediately recall, but imagine a 7 year old trying to comfort someone with words. Not always a success. But here, as the bell rang, I decided it worked. Both because we were out of time, and were veering off topic quite a bit in relation to the Bible story it's based on.

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Nobles version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the third of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities.

What would be the collective term for Nobles? A Delusion of Nobles? Am I getting too political?

The Noble

Nobles in fairy tales are examples or hero’s. Or they are trapped in a tower, waiting to be rescued. Or pampered to such an extent that they cannot sleep if there is a pea under a hundred mattresses (and this is seen as a quality!). Adventuring nobles are usually on some sort of quest. Someone in their family has fallen ill, and they need to go and get the doo-dah to fix it. Usually they are kids or teens. 

Another approach is the cursed noble. They mistreat an old lady or were not hospitable to someone who happened to be somewhat supernatural, such as a witch or a fairy queen. Now they have a curse on them that is supposed to teach them a lesson of some kind. These nobles are confronted with their own privilege.

For a more extended fantasy story the recovery of stolen land or a stolen or lost heirloom might be a nice angle. The humor here might be in how it was lost or stolen. Thie recovery of stolen land fits within the Keep on the Borderlands backstory pretty well.

Being a noble, training is likely, although the inept noble is a fun trait as well. The RISUS Companion has the option of Sidekicks and Shield-Mates, which could come in handy here. Something like this might be suitable to have a noble that’s good at nothing but has a little army of servants doing all the things for them. Although I think this might just work as a bunch of cliches describing the servants, which the text in the companion also gives as an option. It’s the “three halflings in a trenchcoat” idea, which is already a good cliche in general.

Another trope that might suit might be the exiled or dethroned noble. This has the potential to put the game in a story modus immediately (giving a kind of plot), so check with the group if that is what you want to do. It could also just be something as flavor in the background and barely come up. Another variation is a noble in hiding. (probably with one distinctive feature, like a weirdly specific shaped mole on a strange place.

In some high fantasy settings being a noble might mean that you have different blood, perhaps even magical. Discus with the group wether or not you want this, because this can get into some ideologically sensitive material. It might be therapeutic to laugh with it, or it might just be too painful to be confronted with people being different only through heritage, like some sort of Übermensch or something.

On the Borderlands here, the local nobles are from the keep. Seeing as I’m already setting the place up as a small, mostly abandoned barony, nobles will be hard to come by. 


• Most of them might be Knights from an order, come to support the cause. 

• The Marquis might have children old enough to adventure and help out that way. Family dynamics are good motivators here, and sources of humor (again, make sure anyone at the table feels safe enough to indicate when some things hit a bit too close to home). They make for great hooks.

• There might be some kind of court being kept, so some courtiers might fit in here. The humor here might be how unfit courtiers are in this rugged environment or how courtiers that come from this kind of environment are different than regular courtiers. The court will be very small though, except perhaps for the boatload of knights the Marquis keeps or hosts.

Example Noble Characters:


This princess can do her own plumbing, thank you very much!

Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen

Tale:

As per tradition Margareta received all the training a noble lady should before being locked into a tower for a knight to come rescue her and consequently marry her. She only went along with it because there’s no real use in fighting tradition, but as soon as she was in het tower she escaped on her own, beating the troll guarding the tower with her secret judo skills learned from a self-study book on the topic, disguised a book on floral arrangements. 

Now free and a noble in hiding, she roams the forests and hills of the area, having adventures that are more like her style. Although, she does still like embroidery as a hobby, but she uses it not as most nobles do, with flowers and cute sayings like “Live Love Laugh”. Rather she likes to embroider things she encounters in her adventures, like skeletons, and monsters, and ruined castles. And sometimes she cannot help but put one of those little sayings on there as well. Her favorite one is a raven picking a grub from a corpse with the saying “The Early Bird Catches The Worm” on it.

Hook:

Every time her cover is blown she’s being approached by young noblemen trying to win her heart in marriage. (Especially Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine who can’t do anything without the help of a servant) She’s really not into that idea. Unfortunately, hiding is difficult, because she has the stereotypical extremely good looks that princesses in fairytales usually have. In this case hair that’s actually colored like gold and a mole on her cheek shaped like a cute little heart. Her eyes are a deep vibrant brown with golden flecks in it. Also, cute forest animals tend to want to help her. Safe to say, it’s hard to stay hidden.

• Beautiful fairytale princess in hiding from suitors (4) - tools of the trade: Many, many disguises, fairytale beauty, cute forest creatures that want to help wether she wants it or not.
• Secret Judo Master (4) - tools of the trade: A go and black belt, a self-study book for judo disguised as a book about floral arrangements
• Adventurous Embroiderer (2) - tools of the trade: needle and thread, a thimble, small scissors, an embroidery hoop and a cookie tin to keep it all in.
• Wildernis Survivalist (2) - tools of the trade: rope, sleeping bag, knife, a trap, a fishing pole …

This is actually a pretty accurate description of Prince Friedrich

Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine

Tale:
Looking for the love of his life, Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen, Prince Friedrich  has set out into these lands, as he had heard that she’d last been seen here. Being extremely inept, this would normally be a fools errant, except that he’s followed by a very capable flock of servants doing every last thing for him, as befits his position. He has heard the declines to his declarations of love, but interprets them in such a way that he needs to win her over, that she’s just playing hard to get. (This has potential to get creepy, so check in with everyone on this. In my case I’m building in a failsafe so he will not be able to succeed at this.)

Hook:
While his servants follow him out of obligation, they would follow Princess Margareta out of adoration. As such they will never aid von Rumpshine in actively hurting her, leaving him without ‘tools of the trade’ to use his cliches. All alone, without any relevant skills to speak of.

• Pampered Noble Used To Getting His Way (4) - tools of the trade: A gaggle of cooks, washerwomen, butt-wipers, lace-tiers, etc. to do everyday tasks for the noble. Also money.
• S&S (2 dice): Billy Quiverstick
• Renowned Bard (4) - tools of the trade: A lute and a honeyed voice. Fame.
• Hopeless Romantic (2) - tools of the trade: half-finished poems, pick-up lines, impeccable flower arrangements.
• S&S (1 die): Iron Brünhilde
• Intimidating Bodyguard (3) - tools of the trade: Scary armor, scarred face, unnecessarily spiky weapon
• S&S (2 dice): A Council of Advisors
• Groveling Yes-Men (and -Women) (3) - tools of the trade: low self esteem, political ambitions
• Backstabbing Politicians (3) - tools of the trade: knives for backstabbing, trained orators, speech writing material
• S&S (3 dice): Alfred the Alchemist
• Smelly Alchemist (4) - tools of the trade: Stinky ingredients of dubious origin, vials, candles, mystical paraphernalia
• Knower of Obscure and Esoteric Things (4) - tools of the trade: Many strange and obscure books
• Frail old Man (1) - tools of the trade: Cane, weak back.

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Crafter/Trader version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the second of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities. 

So many trades to choose from! Such diversity!

Crafts- and tradespeople

The village has some craftspeople, but not as many and as specialized as there would be in the cities. The crafts needed for self reliance are probably available, like weaving, basketweaving, some light carpentry/woodworking, some light building/masonry, spinning, some simple dying of cloth or making of paint. People will make their own clothes. 

There will not be doctors, smiths, barbers, etc. Though they might visit as traveling tradesmen once in a while. These tradesmen are more equipped to handle the dangers of the road through strength or guile. 

There is an innkeeper and tavern owner, because every fantasy game village needs to have those. The same with a shopkeep. Though these tend to be NPC's.

Requirement: Tale
Craftspeople are not usually the adventuring type. Tell us what caused you to (1) give up the trade and (2) take up the life of deadly adventure. 
This will gain you an automatic extra die to spend, as per the optional rule.

Some options to work with: 

• You heard about a mystical dwarf that is the master of your craft and how he teaches his dwarfish crafting magic to those he deems worthy. You think you are worthy! 
• Your shop has been ransacked by bandits and ruffians, you have to start all over again, and preferably not there. 
• You heard that if you include the hair of a unicorn’s tail into a woven garment, the one you gift it too will fall in love with you forever. 
• You can’t see yourself doing this same thing for the rest of your life. You’ve got a midlife crisis! 
• Your child has been kidnapped and you’re going to get her back.

Keep in mind what these trades are and how they could be funny while writing cliches. We’re playing RISUS after all! What does the trade or craft imply? What is the stereotype? Do you subvert it or enforce it? Trade skills also have great potential to be inappropriate cliches while adventuring in dungeons and the like. How would a cliche be funny to use inappropriately?

A potter might always have dirty hands, making not leaving traces more difficult, but probably makes making a quick sign on a wall easier. A weaver might always be fidgeting with some thread. A traveling potion seller might smell a bit … off, but tries to hide it by covering themselves in perfume. They might take in their craft or be very humble about it. Etc. Etc.

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Example Crafter/Trader Characters:

Here he is, just making pot after pot after pot in his little room.

Muddy Maurice

Tale:
Muddy Maurice is a middle aged potter that works with clay from the river. He goes and gets it there himself. Working with clay he tends to always be muddy. Muddy hands, muddy feet, mud stained clothes… He left his kiln and his pots to go adventuring because he felt like he got stuck in his work and wasn’t finding any more joy in it. He needed to try new things, experience new things, so as to get to the next level in his life. In other words, a midlife crisis. He traded some of his pottery for adventuring gear and set out for new experiences!

Maurice is a(n)…

• Muddy-Handed Potter (4) - tools of the trade: Kiln, Pots, Clay, Pottery Wheel, pottery workshop (also home), clay working tools, dirty clothes, probably also a shovel and a wheelbarrow.
• Surprisingly Graceful Swimmer (3) - tools of the trade: A medieval speedo
• Lifelong Bachelor (3) - tools of the trade: An iron stomach, problems with commitments, an aversion to settling down.
• Midlife-Crisis Adventurer (1) - tools of the trade: Backpack filled with adventuring tools he heard he needed, leather jacket, heavy club, crippling self doubt.

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Hilde is unimpressed by yet another suitor...

Hilde

Tale:
Hilde is what they call an old spinster. This is because she is very good at spinning all kinds of yarn or thread, be it literally or figuratively. Also, it’s because she still isn’t married at age 30! It’s not like suitors haven’t presented themselves over the years, but rather that she was never impressed by them. Tiering of this she has set out to find a real man in the wildernis of the borderlands. She’s hoping that one of these adventuring men will be made of the right stuff to marry her.

Hilde is a(n)…

• Old Spinster looking for a Real Man (4) - tools of the trade: Yarn, Wool, thread, spindle whorl, judging eyes, high expectations
• Gossip Girl (2) - tools of the trade: good ears and a wicked tongue
• Creative Knitting Woman (3) - tools of the trade: Knitting needles, balls of yarn
• Beginning Adventurer (2) - tools of the trade: Heavy walking stick (good for whacking), backpack full of handy knickknacks, hopes and dreams