RISUS dice mechanics with less counting

 

Risus is not a mathematically complex game, but it would be very ableist to assume that all people are comfortable enough with counting that it doesn’t slow down play. Or patient enough. Why all the maths? We’re here for the silly stories! 

This little idea comes from a question on the RISUS Discord server, where someone asked if there were any house rules for people who don’t want to bother with counting up all the dice to get to the results. I had two ideas, and will try to work them out here.

Idea #1: Highest Die

I don’t think this is a new idea. In fact I think I read it somewhere else before, but I cannot remember where. There is a lot of info on the Risusiverse website. It’s probably somewhere there.

The main idea is that in a conflict, everybody rolls dice, and only the highest dice get compared. Highest wins.

example:
There’s a new colleague at HR (Sarah) and Sylvester immediately wants to try out his charm on her. He thinks he’s sooo smooth. Little did he know who exactly he’s messing with.
Sylvester rolls his The Smoothest Guy Around (1) cliche against Sarah’s Demon Prince of the Seventh Layer of Hell Disguised As A Cute Secretary (6). Her gets a 4 and she gets a 2, 3, 5 and 6. The highest dice from both get compared to each other. So that is Sylvester’s 4 vs. Sarah’s 6.

Sylvester comes up to her and tries his cheesiest pick-up line. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you must be an angel.” She replies in a distorted voice as if many are talking at the same time: “Oh, that was soooo long ago. I’d rather not talk about it. It’s still a sore topic.”. He can feel the voice in his bones and sees her eyes turn completely black as all the electronics in the room start to freak out. He pees himself in fear. Sarah smiles cutely, and resumes in a normal voice. Anything else I can help you with?

That’s simple enough right. But then of course the next question arises. What if it’s a draw? My gut instinct is to say to compare the next highest dice on both rolls. In Sylvester’s case he still wouldn’t be able to win if they tied, because he didn’t even have a die to compare next.

So what about Target Numbers then? They need to be re-done I guess, since you are not adding dice. First thought is that there are only five difficulties that can be tried: 2-6 (a 1 is an automatic success, 2 is easy, 3 is moderate, 4 is challenging, 5 is difficult, 6 is epic). They would need to refereed on a case to case basis though, as it’s not entirely the same with results as a 1 die cliche rolling to try and attempt a TN 30 task.

example:
Sylvester now is determined to figure out what is going on with Sarah. But first, he needs to recover. “Luckily” he’s a Victim of Constant Bullying (3) and figures he will have spare change of clothes in his cubicle, especially after the incident with the baked beans. The GM figures that it’s probable that he has the clothes, seeing the name of the cliche. And sets the difficulty to 2. Sylvester rolls his three dice and gets 2, 3, 6. The highest number succeeds and as such he has a decent spare change of clothes.

Another option could be that even the target numbers are opposed rolls made by the GM. Easy Difficulty rolls would be 1 die, Normal Difficulty 2 dice, Challenging Difficulty 3, Professional 4, Master 5 and Epic 6. Just as with the above idea, it would need to be tailored to the action itself, but it makes you able to attempt something against all odds.

example:
Sylvester has found his clothes and now needs to change into them without the manager noticing that he’s missing. He needs to change speedily. His Victim of Constant Bullying (3) cliche will get him through this again, as he’s quite used to this, but the GM says that a deadline on a project is coming up, and he’s expecting the manager coming to check in soon. He has to move fast. So while it would be a normal difficulty on the regular, the GM bumps it up to a Challenging Difficulty (3).

Sylvester rolls three dice and gets 3, 4, 2

The GM rolls three dice and gets 5, 2, 1

Sylvester’s 4 gets beaten by the GM’s 5

Sylvester changed in the toilet stalls but was still so shaken that him zoning out because of flashbacks to that interaction took him longer. When he returns to his cubicle he finds a note that the manager wants to talk to him. Oh-oh!

If for some reason you’d want to have a gradual success scale, you set the difficulty, either of the two options works, and count the successes. In the first example, all dice at or higher than the TN, in the second comparing each highest die with each other. The more successes, the better the result.

example #1:
We cut back to Sarah as she’s typing away at the computer and getting gradually more bored. She sees the manager angrily writing a note at Sylvester’s cubicle and stomping off. Finally something mildly interesting is happening. She wonders how much chaos she can sow by causing a string of accidents that keep delaying Sylvester from reaching the manager.

To do this she definitely has to roll with her Demon Prince of the Seventh Layer of Hell Disguised As A Cute Secretary (6) cliche. The GM decides that for her, this would be a Challenging Difficulty as she would be trying to keep things hidden. So the target number is 4 and she has six dice to roll. Her eyes turn solid orbs of black and all electronics flicker again as the plays with the local laws of causality and … she rolls 3, 2, 5, 5,1, 5 as she makes it so that Sylvester has to get through 3 potential delays before he can get to the manager. This is because 3 of the dice had a result that equals or beats the target number. The GM asks what kind of distractions Sarah’s player is thinking off. Sarah’s player gives the GM the full reigns of the happenings.

example #2:
Sylvester sees the note and sighs. “Can this day get any worse?” he says. “Oh poor Sylvester,” the Greek Chorus sings, “you have no idea.”

On his way to the manager’s office he has to pass many a cubicle. Out of one of them a lady steps in front of him, blocking the way. “Oh heeey Sylvester”, Sylvia starts, ”you are looking fine today. Is that a new suit?” Sylvia is basically a gender swapped Sylvester that keeps trying to get Sylvester to go on a date with him. Sylvester is not interested. What bad timing! Can Sylvester talk his way out of this situation fast enough to get to the manager?

The GM explains that depending on the roll, the fallout of the situation will be better or worse. Basically, Sylvia has a cliche called Annoyingly Persistent Karen (3) which she will use. If Sylvester cannot beat all three of her dice he will 1. Go on a date with her, 2. to a place of her choosing and 3. in a predetermined couples outfit. (Sarah snickers as she looks on)

Sylvester knows he’s The Smoothest Guy Around (1) and is confident he can talk himself out of this. Sylvester’s player knows this too and knows that he can only hope to beat Sylvia’s highest die with his only die to at least avoid the couples outfit.

He rolls a 2 while Sylvia rolls 3, 1, 2. Time passes as Sylvia keeps him pinned down in flirty conversation and Sylvester has to relent first to the date, secondly to the place (it’s sooo expensive y’all!) and finally even a couples outfit that is completely not his style.
Meanwhile the manager looks out of his aquarium like office, gets cross, takes Sylvester’s file and writes “flirting on company time!”. He looks at it again and underlines it angrily!

Idea #2: Counting Successes

This is stolen from The Pool and games that spawned from it, like Lady Blackbird. 

The main idea is that in a conflict, everybody rolls dice, any dice that come up 4-6 count as a success. The most successes wins.

example:
The first hurdle out of the way (and with a ridiculous and expensive dat that he does not even want as a consequence), Sylvester keeps trying to reach the managers office as soon as possible. He’s not even completely past the next cubicle as a dog comes bounding for him. Fifi, the Half Blind Office Bulldog (4) smells the perfume of Sylvia on Sylvester and wants to play. Luckily, Sylvester is a Dog Person (3) and as such might have a chance to get this over quickly.

Fifi rolls 2, 3, 4, 6 (2 successes) and Sylvester rolls 6, 5, 5 (3 successes) quickly realizing the situation, getting down on a knee, scratching Fifi behind the ear and pointing her to Sylvia. The dog, hearing Sylvester’s voice realizes her mistake and bounds of further down the hallway, near tackling an unsuspecting Sylvia, who was scrolling through her phone, looking at outfits for the date. The manager doesn’t even know what’s happened, but Sarah quirks an eyebrow in amused surprise.

Here as well the question about Target Numbers might arise, but it’s more straightforward than the other one. There might be an optional rule to it as well though, but that would be more of an add-on. The way to do target numbers is to give a set number of successes to get. 1 for easy, 2 for normal, 3 for challenging, 4 for professional, 5 for mastery and 6 for epic difficulties.

example:
Getting out of that one with barely any time lost, there is a third and last hurdle Sylvester must face before reaching the managers office. As he closes in all of a sudden food is flying through the hallway, followed by lunchboxes, thermos’ and slurs about one’s mother. These are Phil and Rick, and they always have these types of fights. The trick is getting through without getting hit or involved in any way.

The DM sets this difficulty at 3 (challenging). As a Victim of Constant Bullying (3) Sylvester might have a chance at avoiding a fight, but he might just prove to be a better target himself.

Sylvester rolls 6, 6, 1. He almost made it, but alas. Just as he thinks he got away with it he hears “Hey SYLVESTER! Your mom brought your lunch. It was very tasty! Here are some leftovers!”, followed by a PB&J sandwich thrown at him sullying his suit (for the second time today!). He quickly makes his getaway and arrives in the manager’s office, safe from the bullies, smeared with PB&J and shaking.

The optional thing here is that —either through circumstances or because the (in)appropriateness of the cliche— the numbers to get to roll a success could be skewed. If it would be easier than normal you have to roll 3-6 for example, and if it’s more difficult 5-6! It could be even worse or better by needing to only roll 2’s (1’s are an auto-success) to succeed or so difficult you only succeed on 6’s!

example:
Now in the office, Sylvester is confronted with his manager, who is looking real upset. His sullied suit isn’t making things easier for him (+1 to number needed to succeed) and the time he needed to get here, being observed by the manager as flirting with colleagues (another +1 to number needed to succeed) makes only 6’s be a success.

Making a good first impression is gonna be difficult. Since the boss is already upset with him, the GM sets the difficulty of making a good impression on a sliding scale. 2 successes is not fired yet. 3 successes is getting a chance to explain, 4 successes is somehow being believed, at 5 successes he even feels sorry for you, and at 6 successes you might even get a raise for enduring all this hardship!

Sylvester can choose one of two approaches. One is being The Smoothest Guy Around (1) which is not going to help him one bit here. But he can try to play it cool. The other option is being a Victim of Constant Bullying (3) which would be playing the pity card. Now while it would be very funny for Sylvester to still try to play it cool, after all this I think the pity card will be the way to go.

He rolls a 2, 4 and 6, meaning he only has one success, and he needed at least two to not be immediately fired. He can go and clean out his desk after being chewed out by his manager!

Another optional thing you could do here (probably instead rather than combined) is having complications and bonuses. In traditional gamer language critical hits and critical fumbles/misses. In this case every 6 is a bonus (something beneficial happens, wether or not you succeed) and every 1 is a complication (something happens that complicates things for you, wether or not you fail the roll). If there are multiple of these in a roll, you could say that bonuses and complications cancel each other out (the success or fail of them still counts, just the additional effects cancel each other out), or fully embrace the chaos and come up with something for each and every one of them. (For pro-improvisors or groups where the players are as happy to brainstorm for result ideas as the GM would be). 

example:
Gathering his stuff from his cubicle, Sylvester has his cardboard box with various things in it. A desk lamp, a potted plant and framed pictures. Now he has to do the Walk of Shame to the elevator doors. To see what this does to his ego, and wether he can do some damage control, he has to roll. Not feeling confident or smooth, he chooses to take the more anxious route, walking it as someone who’s used to the unfairness of life. He’s rolling his Victim of Constant Bullying (3), and the GM makes this entire thing an apposed conflict against the Walk of Shame (2), the walk of shame would have been stronger if the verdict hadn’t been so obviously unfair.

Round 1: Leaving the Cubicle, let’s roll.


Sylvester rolls 5, 6, 2 vs. The Walk with 1, 5

Sylvester has two successes, while The Walk has only one, setting The Walk to only 1 die!
Additionally, Sylvester has a Bonus and the Walk rolled a complication. This means that not only does Sylvester get to save his reputation for now, but the walk of shame has a complication happen to it making it even less of a shameful walk. The GM has to think for a bit and finally narrates:

Sylvester walks and Phil and Rick start bullying him and laughing at him again. “You gonna go cry to your mommy now?” Phil asks mockingly? “You better use simple words, Sylvester,” Rick joins in, “‘cause I heard your mom is sooo dumb, that…” and he gets interrupted, because Sylvester, having nothing to lose anymore, just punches him in the face. (This is the bonus.)

Sylvia, seeing that cries out “Yeah Sylvester, they had it coming for a while!” and starts applauding, which gets the attention of the others, including Sarah, the Demon Prince in Disguise. She’s having conflicting feelings here. She enjoys a good downfall, but Sylvester has proven more entertaining that she thought he would be. Maybe she should become his Guardian Demon for a bit, making sure she can torment him for longer? That would be fun! (The Compication)

Round 2: Victim of Constant Bullying (3) vs. Walk of Shame (1)


Sylvester rolls 3, 4, 2 vs. The Walk’s 4, 1

Both have one success, so it’s a draw, but the walk has a complication. The GM rules that in this case it breaks the tie in favor of Sylvester. Sylvester enters the elevator to an office inexplicably giving a standing ovation!

Credits roll for Episode One of The Lady At HR Is A Demon Prince, a new sitcom.

After Credits scene:
Sarah walks into the manager’s office with a stack of paper. “I noticed that you just fired a very competent employee.” She says, “It would be a shame”, she continues as the lights start to flicker and electronics glitch out, “if he were to be fired. I compiled a list of documents to convince you.”
“Well, I’m the manager! I do what I want!”, he starts to argue back. At which Sarah smiles and gestures with her hand in the air and an old timey parchment scroll appears. “I could always let you read the *other* peace of paperwork between us, if you want?”, at which the manager becomes white as a sheet.
Cut to black, end scene.

 

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Nobles version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the third of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities.

What would be the collective term for Nobles? A Delusion of Nobles? Am I getting too political?

The Noble

Nobles in fairy tales are examples or hero’s. Or they are trapped in a tower, waiting to be rescued. Or pampered to such an extent that they cannot sleep if there is a pea under a hundred mattresses (and this is seen as a quality!). Adventuring nobles are usually on some sort of quest. Someone in their family has fallen ill, and they need to go and get the doo-dah to fix it. Usually they are kids or teens. 

Another approach is the cursed noble. They mistreat an old lady or were not hospitable to someone who happened to be somewhat supernatural, such as a witch or a fairy queen. Now they have a curse on them that is supposed to teach them a lesson of some kind. These nobles are confronted with their own privilege.

For a more extended fantasy story the recovery of stolen land or a stolen or lost heirloom might be a nice angle. The humor here might be in how it was lost or stolen. Thie recovery of stolen land fits within the Keep on the Borderlands backstory pretty well.

Being a noble, training is likely, although the inept noble is a fun trait as well. The RISUS Companion has the option of Sidekicks and Shield-Mates, which could come in handy here. Something like this might be suitable to have a noble that’s good at nothing but has a little army of servants doing all the things for them. Although I think this might just work as a bunch of cliches describing the servants, which the text in the companion also gives as an option. It’s the “three halflings in a trenchcoat” idea, which is already a good cliche in general.

Another trope that might suit might be the exiled or dethroned noble. This has the potential to put the game in a story modus immediately (giving a kind of plot), so check with the group if that is what you want to do. It could also just be something as flavor in the background and barely come up. Another variation is a noble in hiding. (probably with one distinctive feature, like a weirdly specific shaped mole on a strange place.

In some high fantasy settings being a noble might mean that you have different blood, perhaps even magical. Discus with the group wether or not you want this, because this can get into some ideologically sensitive material. It might be therapeutic to laugh with it, or it might just be too painful to be confronted with people being different only through heritage, like some sort of Übermensch or something.

On the Borderlands here, the local nobles are from the keep. Seeing as I’m already setting the place up as a small, mostly abandoned barony, nobles will be hard to come by. 


• Most of them might be Knights from an order, come to support the cause. 

• The Marquis might have children old enough to adventure and help out that way. Family dynamics are good motivators here, and sources of humor (again, make sure anyone at the table feels safe enough to indicate when some things hit a bit too close to home). They make for great hooks.

• There might be some kind of court being kept, so some courtiers might fit in here. The humor here might be how unfit courtiers are in this rugged environment or how courtiers that come from this kind of environment are different than regular courtiers. The court will be very small though, except perhaps for the boatload of knights the Marquis keeps or hosts.

Example Noble Characters:


This princess can do her own plumbing, thank you very much!

Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen

Tale:

As per tradition Margareta received all the training a noble lady should before being locked into a tower for a knight to come rescue her and consequently marry her. She only went along with it because there’s no real use in fighting tradition, but as soon as she was in het tower she escaped on her own, beating the troll guarding the tower with her secret judo skills learned from a self-study book on the topic, disguised a book on floral arrangements. 

Now free and a noble in hiding, she roams the forests and hills of the area, having adventures that are more like her style. Although, she does still like embroidery as a hobby, but she uses it not as most nobles do, with flowers and cute sayings like “Live Love Laugh”. Rather she likes to embroider things she encounters in her adventures, like skeletons, and monsters, and ruined castles. And sometimes she cannot help but put one of those little sayings on there as well. Her favorite one is a raven picking a grub from a corpse with the saying “The Early Bird Catches The Worm” on it.

Hook:

Every time her cover is blown she’s being approached by young noblemen trying to win her heart in marriage. (Especially Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine who can’t do anything without the help of a servant) She’s really not into that idea. Unfortunately, hiding is difficult, because she has the stereotypical extremely good looks that princesses in fairytales usually have. In this case hair that’s actually colored like gold and a mole on her cheek shaped like a cute little heart. Her eyes are a deep vibrant brown with golden flecks in it. Also, cute forest animals tend to want to help her. Safe to say, it’s hard to stay hidden.

• Beautiful fairytale princess in hiding from suitors (4) - tools of the trade: Many, many disguises, fairytale beauty, cute forest creatures that want to help wether she wants it or not.
• Secret Judo Master (4) - tools of the trade: A go and black belt, a self-study book for judo disguised as a book about floral arrangements
• Adventurous Embroiderer (2) - tools of the trade: needle and thread, a thimble, small scissors, an embroidery hoop and a cookie tin to keep it all in.
• Wildernis Survivalist (2) - tools of the trade: rope, sleeping bag, knife, a trap, a fishing pole …

This is actually a pretty accurate description of Prince Friedrich

Prince Friedrich von Rumpshine

Tale:
Looking for the love of his life, Princess Margareta van Wildewoud en Steenbergen, Prince Friedrich  has set out into these lands, as he had heard that she’d last been seen here. Being extremely inept, this would normally be a fools errant, except that he’s followed by a very capable flock of servants doing every last thing for him, as befits his position. He has heard the declines to his declarations of love, but interprets them in such a way that he needs to win her over, that she’s just playing hard to get. (This has potential to get creepy, so check in with everyone on this. In my case I’m building in a failsafe so he will not be able to succeed at this.)

Hook:
While his servants follow him out of obligation, they would follow Princess Margareta out of adoration. As such they will never aid von Rumpshine in actively hurting her, leaving him without ‘tools of the trade’ to use his cliches. All alone, without any relevant skills to speak of.

• Pampered Noble Used To Getting His Way (4) - tools of the trade: A gaggle of cooks, washerwomen, butt-wipers, lace-tiers, etc. to do everyday tasks for the noble. Also money.
• S&S (2 dice): Billy Quiverstick
• Renowned Bard (4) - tools of the trade: A lute and a honeyed voice. Fame.
• Hopeless Romantic (2) - tools of the trade: half-finished poems, pick-up lines, impeccable flower arrangements.
• S&S (1 die): Iron Brünhilde
• Intimidating Bodyguard (3) - tools of the trade: Scary armor, scarred face, unnecessarily spiky weapon
• S&S (2 dice): A Council of Advisors
• Groveling Yes-Men (and -Women) (3) - tools of the trade: low self esteem, political ambitions
• Backstabbing Politicians (3) - tools of the trade: knives for backstabbing, trained orators, speech writing material
• S&S (3 dice): Alfred the Alchemist
• Smelly Alchemist (4) - tools of the trade: Stinky ingredients of dubious origin, vials, candles, mystical paraphernalia
• Knower of Obscure and Esoteric Things (4) - tools of the trade: Many strange and obscure books
• Frail old Man (1) - tools of the trade: Cane, weak back.

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Crafter/Trader version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the second of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities. 

So many trades to choose from! Such diversity!

Crafts- and tradespeople

The village has some craftspeople, but not as many and as specialized as there would be in the cities. The crafts needed for self reliance are probably available, like weaving, basketweaving, some light carpentry/woodworking, some light building/masonry, spinning, some simple dying of cloth or making of paint. People will make their own clothes. 

There will not be doctors, smiths, barbers, etc. Though they might visit as traveling tradesmen once in a while. These tradesmen are more equipped to handle the dangers of the road through strength or guile. 

There is an innkeeper and tavern owner, because every fantasy game village needs to have those. The same with a shopkeep. Though these tend to be NPC's.

Requirement: Tale
Craftspeople are not usually the adventuring type. Tell us what caused you to (1) give up the trade and (2) take up the life of deadly adventure. 
This will gain you an automatic extra die to spend, as per the optional rule.

Some options to work with: 

• You heard about a mystical dwarf that is the master of your craft and how he teaches his dwarfish crafting magic to those he deems worthy. You think you are worthy! 
• Your shop has been ransacked by bandits and ruffians, you have to start all over again, and preferably not there. 
• You heard that if you include the hair of a unicorn’s tail into a woven garment, the one you gift it too will fall in love with you forever. 
• You can’t see yourself doing this same thing for the rest of your life. You’ve got a midlife crisis! 
• Your child has been kidnapped and you’re going to get her back.

Keep in mind what these trades are and how they could be funny while writing cliches. We’re playing RISUS after all! What does the trade or craft imply? What is the stereotype? Do you subvert it or enforce it? Trade skills also have great potential to be inappropriate cliches while adventuring in dungeons and the like. How would a cliche be funny to use inappropriately?

A potter might always have dirty hands, making not leaving traces more difficult, but probably makes making a quick sign on a wall easier. A weaver might always be fidgeting with some thread. A traveling potion seller might smell a bit … off, but tries to hide it by covering themselves in perfume. They might take in their craft or be very humble about it. Etc. Etc.

---

Example Crafter/Trader Characters:

Here he is, just making pot after pot after pot in his little room.

Muddy Maurice

Tale:
Muddy Maurice is a middle aged potter that works with clay from the river. He goes and gets it there himself. Working with clay he tends to always be muddy. Muddy hands, muddy feet, mud stained clothes… He left his kiln and his pots to go adventuring because he felt like he got stuck in his work and wasn’t finding any more joy in it. He needed to try new things, experience new things, so as to get to the next level in his life. In other words, a midlife crisis. He traded some of his pottery for adventuring gear and set out for new experiences!

Maurice is a(n)…

• Muddy-Handed Potter (4) - tools of the trade: Kiln, Pots, Clay, Pottery Wheel, pottery workshop (also home), clay working tools, dirty clothes, probably also a shovel and a wheelbarrow.
• Surprisingly Graceful Swimmer (3) - tools of the trade: A medieval speedo
• Lifelong Bachelor (3) - tools of the trade: An iron stomach, problems with commitments, an aversion to settling down.
• Midlife-Crisis Adventurer (1) - tools of the trade: Backpack filled with adventuring tools he heard he needed, leather jacket, heavy club, crippling self doubt.

---

Hilde is unimpressed by yet another suitor...

Hilde

Tale:
Hilde is what they call an old spinster. This is because she is very good at spinning all kinds of yarn or thread, be it literally or figuratively. Also, it’s because she still isn’t married at age 30! It’s not like suitors haven’t presented themselves over the years, but rather that she was never impressed by them. Tiering of this she has set out to find a real man in the wildernis of the borderlands. She’s hoping that one of these adventuring men will be made of the right stuff to marry her.

Hilde is a(n)…

• Old Spinster looking for a Real Man (4) - tools of the trade: Yarn, Wool, thread, spindle whorl, judging eyes, high expectations
• Gossip Girl (2) - tools of the trade: good ears and a wicked tongue
• Creative Knitting Woman (3) - tools of the trade: Knitting needles, balls of yarn
• Beginning Adventurer (2) - tools of the trade: Heavy walking stick (good for whacking), backpack full of handy knickknacks, hopes and dreams

RISUS on the Borderlands - The Farmer version 0.1

This is a continuation of converting Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS and my own silly sensibilities. In this post I cover the first of a whole list of character options that fit the setting's sensibilities. 

Aren't they jolly and fun!

Farmers

Farmers come in all shapes and sizes. Some make things grow, others keep farm animals. Usually you know what to do with the produce. Most do a bit of everything, but some might experiment with specializing. Or at least dream of it, aspiring to one day be able to specialize in one thing. 

Requirement: Tale

Farmers are not usually the adventuring type. Tell us what caused you to (1) give up the life of a farmer and (2) take up the life of deadly adventure. 
This will gain you an automatic extra die to spend, as per the optional rule.

Some options to work with (but feel free to come up with your own): 

• You accidentally burned down your farm. 
• Goblins stole your favorite chicken, and you want it back. 
• You had a vision or dream where you were chosen for a great task. 
• Wolves have been eating your herd, and now it’s time for revenge. 
• Raiders have stolen your husband! 
• You heard that if you catch a Leprechaun you can force it to give you his treasure, and you like treasure! 
• You didn’t shelter an old crone, she cursed you and now your crops all uprooted themselves and walked into the woods, on their own!

Farmers are usually hearty and healthy, strong because of their work. Some might know letters and numbers and be able to write their own name. Farmers tend to be good with their hands, and be able to craft simple things for themselves (see craftsmen). Farmers might dabble a bit in fishing or hunting. Especially if some predators are out to get their chickens or their sheep. Music is also a thing that is liked, as well as turning their produce into tastier things, like bread, cheese and beer, which is used for another beloved activity, namely feasting. There are a lot of tropes about farmers, which could be used to fuel your cliche writing inspiration.

Most farmers will have one cliché at 3 max and all others below, since they tend to do everything on their own, being self-sufficient. You are required to have at least one cliche that has to do with farming if you want to play a farmer. It can be at 1, if you want to be a particularly bad farmer. Most have multiple farming related cliches though.

Optional Rule: Hard Working

At the cost of 1 die at character creation this character gets the Hard Working trait, meaning they can re-roll any 1’s, but only on any roll made for doing continuous hard and mindless physical labor such as lugging things around, plowing, mowing, chopping.

 

Example Farmer Characters:

Look any this handsome lad.
I'd wager he's still got all of his teeth.

Hannes

Tale: 

Hannes once was fishing, as he likes to do on a Sunday after mass. It was at this point that all of a sudden the face of a beautiful lady emerged from the water and told him that there are many treasures hidden in the caves that go up the road. Hannes explained that he couldn’t really leave his widowed mother all alone to look after the farm. The lady in the water told him that the treasure could make his widowed mother into a queen that could have anything she wanted. Hannes loves his mother very much and thinks this is a good idea, so he leaves right away.

Hannes is a(n) …

• Gullible but strong farmboy (3) - 
tools of the trade: Hopes and Dreams, farm, plow, rake, …
• Animal Friend, especially to his cow Mathilda (2) - tools of the trade: Big Heart, bag of treats
• Singing Harvester (2) - tools of the trade: knowledge of simple songs, scythe
• Handsome Lad (2) - tools of the trade: Rosy Cheeks, athletic build, sincere eyes, all of his teeth
• Recreational Fisherman (1) - tools of the trade: Fishing Line
• Hard Worker (see optional rule)

A bit like this, but imagine a spiked mace instead of a sword.
And imagine her being very clumsy in it.

Iron Anna

Tale:
Annabelle, being a buxom dairy maid, got a lot of attention from the soldiers, mercenaries and other adventurers coming through. This filled her head with dreams about the world outside and the riches and fame to gain out there. She would sings songs about it while dreaming about going on adventures on her own. One day she ran off with a mercenary called Iron Willem, and started adventuring for good. Iron Willem ended up dying, about right as they left the village. Such is the adventuring life. Especially if you made an enemy in the Bandit King like Iron Willem did. Annabelle was undeterred and kept going, seeking adventure and fame. With the tools that Willem left her in death she outfitted herself with re-forged plate armour (from Dead Iron Willem’s purse) and his spiked mace and set out to become Iron Anna. Which is where we are right now. She’s still figuring these things out.

Annabelle is a(n)…

• Buxom Milk Maid (3) - tools of the trade: Buxom Bossom, Milk Pail, Three Legged Stool, Wooden Shoes, a Cow.
• Bored Cheese Monger (2) - tools of the trade: Cheese Cloth, Bottle of Rennet, Cheese Press, a Cheese Cellar.
• Dreamy Songstress (2) - tools of the trade: Hopes and Dreams, A Good Voice.
• Optimistic Go-Getter (2) - tools of the trade: Hope and Energy
• Reluctant Housewife in Training (1) - tools of the trade: Broom, Apron, Rolling Pin, Cooking Knives, Family Cookbook, …
• Iron Clad Adventurer looking for Fame and Glory (1) - tools of the trade: Plate Armor, Spiked Mace.
• Lucky shots: OOOOOO

RISUS on the Borderlands - General Idea version 0.1

 Yup, I'm at it again, reworking the Borderlands, and again, using RISUS. I got inspired by someone talking about running modules for RISUS on the RISUS Discord Channel. And the idea didn't leave my head. I've recently read the RISUS Dungeonautica rules which were a big inspiration as well. Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll ever finish this project, but I'm trying to convert what I like from Keep on the Borderlands to RISUS, with it's own kind of humor. To make something really feel like a RISUS interpretation I feel like it needs to be funny/silly. I'm not sure how good I am at that, but I'll give it go.

I'm keeping a list of sorts (kind of like a table of contents) below this post!

this is a castle, or a keep, if you will.

The Keep on the Borderlands - RISUS Edition

The Mark is a savage place, corrupted by Chaos, making men, beasts and nature itself give in to dark desires, like greed, violence and even stand up comedy!

Standing against this is the Marquis, castellan to the keep on these borderlands. With an iron fist she brings law to this savage land, protecting mankind from the evils that live in the dark. Helping her are her two advisors, one from the Church and one from the Realm of Fairy. They help her decide when to tighten her iron grip, and when to loosen it up a bit.

The Inquisitor from the church is a stern looking man that never smiles and always looks in judgement. The Fair Child is a 100 year old child trained in combat and magic alike. They also like to play tricks on people. They look like they are five years old. They are always smiling.

Changes to the original keep:

The outer keep becomes a little village built against the walls of the keep, which is now just the inner keep from the module. Most people live in farms between the road and the river, which are the main source of food for the Keep. This also means that there are less men at arms around. The keep is still built on a rock jutting out of the ground, but the rest of the village is built around the rock that’s jutting out that ground, negating some of that crevice-moat-idea. But if the rock jutting up is a Really High Rock (5) that should be okay I think.

 

Starting Characters

Characters are made with 10 dice like normal. The options from the main rules are all available, and required in some cases (see below). For characters choosing the Hooks and Tales options, it might be fun to work together and make up backstories that lead in the same direction, so that it would make sense for you guys to be working together as a party.

Extra Option: For a more authentic feel, some might think a 10 dice character might be a bit too heroic and advanced. For a more Zero-to-Hero kind of feel, start with only 5 dice and set the maximum of a cliché to 3. This is meant to be an option that is for the entire group, but if a specific type of player wants to challenge themselves more like this, they are of course free to take this all on their own, I guess.

Most people here are humans. These are human lands. Any other beings are either very rare visitors from the fairy lands or creatures of corruption. Or Wizards. Wizards are rare to come by. People that are not humans will have specific requirements for use as characters, such as a hook or a tale. Others might as well, such as the farmer, who generally isn’t the deadly adventuring sort.

• Humans in this area are either farmers, simple craftsmen or warriors of some kind (mainly soldiers, knights and mercenaries).
• There is a little parish here with a priest and acolytes which could provide that avenue as a viable player option, and traveling priests are a thing. 
• The simple people here are living in tough conditions, which probably makes them quite tough on their own, compared to the ones living in the more tamed regions of the kingdom. This might provide hunters, not only of common animals, but of things that others might just think lives in make belief.
• Sometimes some people here are born a bit different. Tainted by the corruption of chaos, or influenced from meddling by the fairy lands.

Currently Available (links open in a new window):

The Farmer

The Crafter/Trader

Playing with adults in Antwerp

 So on the 2nd of April there was a little gaming day organized in Antwerp. Antwerp is close by enough that I could easily come for one of the games. For the shift that I was in, there would be three games that would be played, an 1st Edition AD&D game, a home-brew game and Starfinder. I had signed up for Starfinder. The day before I heard that Starfinder was cancelled as the GM had contracted Covid. I said that there was no problem, I would come and either join one of the other games or quickly do some kind of improv game.

I arrived, barely on time on Saturday, with some options in my backpack, which turned out to be nice, because of all the people that had said they would come, only four people were there, including the organizer. The guy running first edition needed 6 people for his game, so that was a no go, and the guy with the home-brew was more interested in what I brought to the table, so I showed them some options.

I introduces Lady Blackbird and I read out some of the Michael Prescott adventure seeds for his locations and one page dungeons type things. We ended up going for The Full Dark Stone, of which the rumors read like this:

• Skull-headed knights have been seen gathering herbs along the river.

• Mournful piping has been heard echoing for miles, its source unknown.

• It’s said that upriver, the fish fly.

• The river folk sell chips of black stone that stay warm to the touch.

 I decided to use my trusty RISUS as a system, which none of them seemed familiar with, which caused for some misunderstandings, but all in all was easy to grasp.

Some things I learned:

Playing with adults is different from playing with kids. These guys came up with character backgrounds, asked about the setting, and wanted to understand the system. 

I learned that, at least for games at a convention or for one shots, I should prepare some more lore about the world or the setting, or that I should make some pre-gens with some lore built in. 

I also learned that translating on the fly is harder than I thought, and that even though all the info was on two pages, it didn't necessarily make things very easy/fast to find. 

I really liked roleplaying in Dutch though. I'm surprised how much that mattered to me. It made the childlike wonder feel more real, playing in the language that I heard my bedtime stories in. It made describing things feel more real, it conjured more local images of swamps and rivers etc.

I learned that playing three hours straight, with translating on the fly and trying to find my way in a document that has the info spread out made me quite a bit more tired than I thought I'd be.

I learned that I liked this a lot. I've been running around buzzing with excitement for a few days now. It was a lot of fun.

Kids on the Borderlands: The Orc Caves B+C — Part 2 (Rooms 9 + 10)

The cave's we've been covering up 'till now.

Room 9: The Banquet Area (This Is A Capital “L” Location)

If you keep going to the left of the entrance, you reach the Banquet Area. It has a great fireplace on the south wall (which the map seems to give a little crawlspace behind for no explained reason) in which the fire is still burning, but just weakly. There are many benches and tables here, of which a big throne like chair is sitting in the north, in which the leader will hold court when needed. 

This is a great place to take the adventurers if they are captured at any point. The leader likes to hold court and to flaunt his power and wealth. This could be a good place for a hearing. It would be farcical and very silly. I think I should revisit the court hearing in Alice in Wonderland for this. It’s also a great way to show the idea of chaos in a funny way that is not just “kill kill kill”, as the module seems to assume. It would also give players that are more skilled in social combat a way to use their talents and cliches. This is also a place where they could learn about the different orc tribes and possible distrust between them. They could be accused to be spies or asked to be spies for the “king” of the orcs.

Introducing King Snort

At the Court of King Snort (procedure):

At the Court of King Snort you defend yourself from being accused by doing several tests that have very little to do with actual court procedures. The lawyers at each side just try to argue which tests need to be done. These are some of the tests: Armwrestling, Eating a disgusting thing (accuser chooses, orcs will choose things they find disgusting, such as fresh vegetables like carrots), a staring contest, holding up a weight the longest, trying to catch a live chicken, make a statue in the honor of King Snort, help to do something to sabotage another faction … Always find a way to explain it in a ridiculous way. It usually means that it’s a way to show strength in a ridiculous way, flatter the king somehow (but what does the king like?) or just plain bribery.

This will last for however long until King Snort makes a decision. The players should have some say in trying to influence what type of task they want to perform to prove they are innocent. Either they have an appointed ‘lawyer’ or they represent themselves. This last option seems to be the best. In any case, between each trial there’s a face where the next task will be decided. The king has to decide which task he wants to see. If needed, rolls can be made for it, but it could be that King Snort just arbitrarily likes one suggestion more than another. Talk with each other how involved they want the arguing to be. If they want to use multiple turns, using multiple arguments, make it an extended conflict, otherwise a single roll will do.

How many tests need to be done depends on some rolls. Both their wins and failures accrue dice as cliches and get rolled towards a TN depended on how invested the King is in the entire procedure. If he’s bored or has more important matters to do, it will be low, like a 5. The more invested he is, the higher the TN will be and consequently, the more tasks will need to be done before he makes a verdict.

Madam Mim is setting unrealistic beauty expectations for female orcs.

If the players find their way here unnoticed, they will find it empty. Roll a die and half it to use as a countdown die. It will take that many actions before a “cleaning crew” of female orcs will come. They will be lugging mops and a big tub of a thick brown substance that looks like mud, but smells like there could be something else in there as well. They will start ‘mopping’ the room, spreading the muck everywhere. The big tub is carried by four of them (Big Muscled Tub Luggers (4)) while there are three of them with the mops and rags needed to ‘clean’ (Regular Cleaning Crew (3)). The carriers will put down the giant bucket start collecting the dirty mugs and plates and start feeding the leftovers to the vermin in the room. Some of them will check on the vermin, to see if they are doing well. They might remark about it. (“The rats are doing well, but I’m a bit worried there’s so little maggots.”) The others will take to plates and cups, spit on/in them and start ‘cleaning’ them with the dirty rags. Any defeated cleaners will no longer be in room 10, being taken away from the female orc count there.

They will argue about which of the men are the “handsomest”. It’s a bit of a competition it seems between Spitter and Hangnail, because one of them has more warts (this is a bonus) and the other is has such a hairy back (this is also a bonus). If they are encountered again later, different gossip might be needed.

From here you can go left (to 10), left again (to 10 again), right (the the Trophy Wall Location) or up/down a slope straight ahead (to 11)

Baby Orcs - More on where orcs come from in a following blogpost.

Room 10: Common Room

This is a big room with a floor covered in straw and what is hopefully mud. It’s filled with the piglike orcs lounging about. Rather, the men are lounging about while the female orcs rush around, taking care of each of them, making them grub sandwiches, massaging their shoulders, etc. The men are 4 groups of 3 orcs. (3) The women are 6 groups of three orcs (3) and the young orcs are one group of 9 piglets in diapers (3), crawling around, wreaking havoc and mischief.

Should a fight break out the men will fight while the women will only get physical if you come to close yourself or if you go after the kids. Otherwise they will yell insults to attackers and cheer the men on. The kids will roam around and cause trouble randomly. Each turn of the fight in the room, roll a die. On a 1-3 they cause trouble for the orcs, on a 4-6 they cause trouble for the opposition, as they crawl around between legs, throw stuff, argue, try to get to something in the confusion, etc.

If entered unnoticed one of the following options might occur:

• Hey there handsome! A few of the younger ladies are trying to impress a big, burly, warty, hairy and stinky orc. One of them brings a ‘freshly made’ grub sandwich, the other gives a foot massage and another recites some bad poetry that she’s trying to improvise. It goes badly.

• Brawl! A baby has managed to get on to a shelf of bottles with wriggling grubs. It pushes one of them onto a sleeping orc. He thinks is was another orc. A fight ensues.

• Arm Wrestling Competition: Two orcs are doing an arm wresting competition. One is about to win, until the other grabs a club, knocks him out cold and finishes the game, winning.

• Eating Competition: Most of the orc have passed out on the floor, stacks of plates beside them. Two of them are still going, being cheered on by the women. The women keep preparing ‘food’ while they eat. At one point a baby almost gets eaten by accident, etc. Some possible foods are old shoes, a broken cart wheel slathered in mayonaise, old sock salad, etc.

• The babies run wild! Rather than a challenge, this is a countdown die (roll a die, halve the result) until the babies are captured. Instead of lowering the countdown die every turn, roll a die. On 4-6, the situation gets better as some of the babies are caught and the countdown die counts down. 1-3 some orcs are knocked out and the countdown die increases (to a maximum of 6). Once all orcs are knocked out (6) or the babies are caught (0) the situation changes. Either the babies go on a rampage throughout the dungeon. Each further encounter/scene has a countdown die for “rampaging babies (5)” or the babies are put in a cage to calm down as the adults let themself sag to the floor and on tables in exhaustion. (less/no chance to be spotted when sneaking past)

• THE EPIC FART OF DOOM! One of the orcs lets out a massive fart. This is greeted by cheers at first, and then the faces change, some of the orcs start to gag and pass out. There’s a panic as everybody runs to the Banquet Area for relief. It’s a RAMPAGE OF ORCS! (6) that needs to be saved against to avoid being trampled. The room is filled with “THE EPIC FART OIF DOOM (6)” against which a save needs to be made as an extended conflict as long as you are in the room. The fart remains there for the remainder of the day/night.

From here you can only get back to the Banquet Area (9), to which there are two exits to the right.

There is no treasure to be found here, except some food not appropriate to humans.

Kids on the Borderlands: The Orc Caves (B+C) - part 1

The Orcs on the Borderlands: Caves B and C or rooms 7-16

Pig Faced Orc by Trash Mob Minis

In the game I play with the kids using RISUS, the orcs are Pig Men who are dirty, gluttonous and lazy. Evil is also comically evil in this game, because I’m playing with young kids. This makes these encounters and scenes a lot more fun than dangerous, though there is danger and —depending on the sensibilities of the kids— lethal. Though situations should play out in such a way that evil should not triumph but rather defeat itself.

I started thinking about this because in the game I play when we’re done early in class, the kid made it until the caves and decided to check out cave C. So I’ve been reading that entry lately, thinking about how I could run it for this 6 or 7 year old kid. And I thought some of the changes I made in converting this would be interesting to share and write out.

First off, the module doesn’t really describe things all that much, which gives the freedom to interpret things immensely, but also kind of makes you do all the work still. Orcs in the lair are usually divided in 4 big types of orcs, maybe 5. You’ve got the Leader at the top, often the baddest of them all, then the leader’s guard(s), regular orc men, orc women (non combatants) and children (non combatants). With groups of adults the entire moral quandary of fighting kids is a hot topic, but if the heroes venturing in are kids as well, this changes slightly, and the playing field is more equal again. 

Unless you do what I guess I did, and just see what choice the kid is going to make (and be prepared to talk about it). I am kind of making these my own, by stereotyping this stereotypical view a lot more, but make everyone able to do combat. I intend to role play them, which hopefully will lead to laughs and maybe even makes the kid think twice before defeating them. Also, the kid will rarely kill on camera anyway, since I’m treating violence the Home Alone way. They can apply it gratuitously, but the baddies will just be knocked out.

Anyway, let’s see what I can make of this. Even though my pupil is entering the C caves, I’ll start with the B caves since that’s the order they are in the book and I like going down the list. The caves are connected anyway.

Cave B Entrance: Wall of Trophies

The entry to the B caves is pretty amazing at first read, being a wall of mounted heads, of which one is a fake one, being an orc sticking his head through the wall as a lookout. I’m saying at first read, because the description says that as soon as the orc spots the players intruding he will switch out for a goblin head and go alert the guards in room seven. This takes away a lot of the comedy inherent in this scene since the players will not reach the mounted heads before the fake one is switched out for the real goblin one. 

I suggest making it a more extended scene. The players will probably want to be exploring this strange set piece poking and prodding. And did this head just wink? Did it look at me? It looks like it’s eyes are following me! Do you hear breathing? Etc. I think making the orc wink at one player character and hold still for the others might be something if there are more players than just one. Choose a fitting one or roll randomly for it.

Also, player characters native to the area, or other NPC’s might recognize heads mounted on the walls. They might be family, or loved ones, they could be enemies as well, or missing persons of high importance. Bringing back proof of their demise might earn some favors to some people.

I’d say that only once the player characters try to move on or the gig is up the orc will raise the alarm and then head over, the fake board his head was supposed to be mounted on still around his neck. He leads the other 4 guards with him in a flanking attack after shouting the alarm.

From 8 (to the front via the left): (arriving after a turn)

• “Mounted” Orc Guard: Sneaky Orc Guard (3) — Treasure: Money pouch, mounting-head board.

• Orc Flankers (2) x2 — Treasure: Money pouch (1 each)

From 7 (to the right): (immediately)
• Orc Guards (2) x2 — Treasure: Money pouch (1 each)

The scene itself is a sort of T-intersection. The entrance to the outside to their back and entrances to the left and right. They will be flanked if they don’t fall back. If they fall back they will only be able to fight groups of two orcs at a time.

Room 7: A guard room with 4 orc guards. If not alerted they are just hanging around. They can be doing multiple things.

Pick one or make up your own, or roll for it if you cannot choose. There are six given.
• Playing cards and cheating at it.
• One is sleeping while the others see how many things they can stack on him before he awakes.
• pretending to read a book (it’s upside down) and lording it over the others that he can read, spouting ‘things he’s learned’ that are just things he’s making up that might be true or not. It’s actually a book about training animals to do tricks. If the guards rushed in and are not here, the book will be lying around.
• Giving each other hints about how to find a girlfriend. They are all bad/stupid advice.
• A flexing competition, the others hold up signs with numbers to score each other.
• Comparing lunchboxes. “Aw man, feet again?”, one complains when holding up a human foot. Another one likes feet better than his ears and eyes salad and wants to trade. If too gruesome, change to gross stuff that is not horrifying. Like “Old Shoe again?!”, while another makes fun of him and touting his giant mould covered potato his wife prepared for him, etc.

There’s some crates with spare cups, plates and spoons, all made from wood. There’s a crude table and some wooden three legged stools. Theres a tablecloth over the table. It’s mustard yellow with a pattern of red skulls on it. Other than that, there is nothing of significance. There is only one exit/entrance.

Room 8: A guard room for flanking. It is the backside of the wall of mounted heads. This is a wooden frame with rough stone stuck onto it. Beding are piles of straw and mud where the pig men are wallowing in. Normally there would be the four orcs and their leader here. 

If found without being seen in the entrance you will find the leader sticking his head through the trap and the others doing one of the following:

• Arguing over the best pile of mud.
• One is sleeping while the others see how many things they can stack on him before he awakes.
• Pretending to read a magazine (it’s upside down) and lording it over the others that he can read, spouting ‘things he’s learned’ that are just things he’s making up that might be true or not. It’s actually a magazine for all kinds of weapons. If the guards rushed in and are not here, the magazine will be lying around. 
• Giving each other hints about how to find a girlfriend. They are surprisingly thoughtful, if not a bit disturbing. (find out which human they like best so as to offer her their head, etc.)
• A farting competition, the others hold up signs with numbers to score each other. One of them just fainted.
• Discussing which brand of petrol is best combined with which beer.