Kids on the Borderlands: The Orc Caves B+C — Part 2 (Rooms 9 + 10)

The cave's we've been covering up 'till now.

Room 9: The Banquet Area (This Is A Capital “L” Location)

If you keep going to the left of the entrance, you reach the Banquet Area. It has a great fireplace on the south wall (which the map seems to give a little crawlspace behind for no explained reason) in which the fire is still burning, but just weakly. There are many benches and tables here, of which a big throne like chair is sitting in the north, in which the leader will hold court when needed. 

This is a great place to take the adventurers if they are captured at any point. The leader likes to hold court and to flaunt his power and wealth. This could be a good place for a hearing. It would be farcical and very silly. I think I should revisit the court hearing in Alice in Wonderland for this. It’s also a great way to show the idea of chaos in a funny way that is not just “kill kill kill”, as the module seems to assume. It would also give players that are more skilled in social combat a way to use their talents and cliches. This is also a place where they could learn about the different orc tribes and possible distrust between them. They could be accused to be spies or asked to be spies for the “king” of the orcs.

Introducing King Snort

At the Court of King Snort (procedure):

At the Court of King Snort you defend yourself from being accused by doing several tests that have very little to do with actual court procedures. The lawyers at each side just try to argue which tests need to be done. These are some of the tests: Armwrestling, Eating a disgusting thing (accuser chooses, orcs will choose things they find disgusting, such as fresh vegetables like carrots), a staring contest, holding up a weight the longest, trying to catch a live chicken, make a statue in the honor of King Snort, help to do something to sabotage another faction … Always find a way to explain it in a ridiculous way. It usually means that it’s a way to show strength in a ridiculous way, flatter the king somehow (but what does the king like?) or just plain bribery.

This will last for however long until King Snort makes a decision. The players should have some say in trying to influence what type of task they want to perform to prove they are innocent. Either they have an appointed ‘lawyer’ or they represent themselves. This last option seems to be the best. In any case, between each trial there’s a face where the next task will be decided. The king has to decide which task he wants to see. If needed, rolls can be made for it, but it could be that King Snort just arbitrarily likes one suggestion more than another. Talk with each other how involved they want the arguing to be. If they want to use multiple turns, using multiple arguments, make it an extended conflict, otherwise a single roll will do.

How many tests need to be done depends on some rolls. Both their wins and failures accrue dice as cliches and get rolled towards a TN depended on how invested the King is in the entire procedure. If he’s bored or has more important matters to do, it will be low, like a 5. The more invested he is, the higher the TN will be and consequently, the more tasks will need to be done before he makes a verdict.

Madam Mim is setting unrealistic beauty expectations for female orcs.

If the players find their way here unnoticed, they will find it empty. Roll a die and half it to use as a countdown die. It will take that many actions before a “cleaning crew” of female orcs will come. They will be lugging mops and a big tub of a thick brown substance that looks like mud, but smells like there could be something else in there as well. They will start ‘mopping’ the room, spreading the muck everywhere. The big tub is carried by four of them (Big Muscled Tub Luggers (4)) while there are three of them with the mops and rags needed to ‘clean’ (Regular Cleaning Crew (3)). The carriers will put down the giant bucket start collecting the dirty mugs and plates and start feeding the leftovers to the vermin in the room. Some of them will check on the vermin, to see if they are doing well. They might remark about it. (“The rats are doing well, but I’m a bit worried there’s so little maggots.”) The others will take to plates and cups, spit on/in them and start ‘cleaning’ them with the dirty rags. Any defeated cleaners will no longer be in room 10, being taken away from the female orc count there.

They will argue about which of the men are the “handsomest”. It’s a bit of a competition it seems between Spitter and Hangnail, because one of them has more warts (this is a bonus) and the other is has such a hairy back (this is also a bonus). If they are encountered again later, different gossip might be needed.

From here you can go left (to 10), left again (to 10 again), right (the the Trophy Wall Location) or up/down a slope straight ahead (to 11)

Baby Orcs - More on where orcs come from in a following blogpost.

Room 10: Common Room

This is a big room with a floor covered in straw and what is hopefully mud. It’s filled with the piglike orcs lounging about. Rather, the men are lounging about while the female orcs rush around, taking care of each of them, making them grub sandwiches, massaging their shoulders, etc. The men are 4 groups of 3 orcs. (3) The women are 6 groups of three orcs (3) and the young orcs are one group of 9 piglets in diapers (3), crawling around, wreaking havoc and mischief.

Should a fight break out the men will fight while the women will only get physical if you come to close yourself or if you go after the kids. Otherwise they will yell insults to attackers and cheer the men on. The kids will roam around and cause trouble randomly. Each turn of the fight in the room, roll a die. On a 1-3 they cause trouble for the orcs, on a 4-6 they cause trouble for the opposition, as they crawl around between legs, throw stuff, argue, try to get to something in the confusion, etc.

If entered unnoticed one of the following options might occur:

• Hey there handsome! A few of the younger ladies are trying to impress a big, burly, warty, hairy and stinky orc. One of them brings a ‘freshly made’ grub sandwich, the other gives a foot massage and another recites some bad poetry that she’s trying to improvise. It goes badly.

• Brawl! A baby has managed to get on to a shelf of bottles with wriggling grubs. It pushes one of them onto a sleeping orc. He thinks is was another orc. A fight ensues.

• Arm Wrestling Competition: Two orcs are doing an arm wresting competition. One is about to win, until the other grabs a club, knocks him out cold and finishes the game, winning.

• Eating Competition: Most of the orc have passed out on the floor, stacks of plates beside them. Two of them are still going, being cheered on by the women. The women keep preparing ‘food’ while they eat. At one point a baby almost gets eaten by accident, etc. Some possible foods are old shoes, a broken cart wheel slathered in mayonaise, old sock salad, etc.

• The babies run wild! Rather than a challenge, this is a countdown die (roll a die, halve the result) until the babies are captured. Instead of lowering the countdown die every turn, roll a die. On 4-6, the situation gets better as some of the babies are caught and the countdown die counts down. 1-3 some orcs are knocked out and the countdown die increases (to a maximum of 6). Once all orcs are knocked out (6) or the babies are caught (0) the situation changes. Either the babies go on a rampage throughout the dungeon. Each further encounter/scene has a countdown die for “rampaging babies (5)” or the babies are put in a cage to calm down as the adults let themself sag to the floor and on tables in exhaustion. (less/no chance to be spotted when sneaking past)

• THE EPIC FART OF DOOM! One of the orcs lets out a massive fart. This is greeted by cheers at first, and then the faces change, some of the orcs start to gag and pass out. There’s a panic as everybody runs to the Banquet Area for relief. It’s a RAMPAGE OF ORCS! (6) that needs to be saved against to avoid being trampled. The room is filled with “THE EPIC FART OIF DOOM (6)” against which a save needs to be made as an extended conflict as long as you are in the room. The fart remains there for the remainder of the day/night.

From here you can only get back to the Banquet Area (9), to which there are two exits to the right.

There is no treasure to be found here, except some food not appropriate to humans.

Kids on the Borderlands: The Orc Caves (B+C) - part 1

The Orcs on the Borderlands: Caves B and C or rooms 7-16

Pig Faced Orc by Trash Mob Minis

In the game I play with the kids using RISUS, the orcs are Pig Men who are dirty, gluttonous and lazy. Evil is also comically evil in this game, because I’m playing with young kids. This makes these encounters and scenes a lot more fun than dangerous, though there is danger and —depending on the sensibilities of the kids— lethal. Though situations should play out in such a way that evil should not triumph but rather defeat itself.

I started thinking about this because in the game I play when we’re done early in class, the kid made it until the caves and decided to check out cave C. So I’ve been reading that entry lately, thinking about how I could run it for this 6 or 7 year old kid. And I thought some of the changes I made in converting this would be interesting to share and write out.

First off, the module doesn’t really describe things all that much, which gives the freedom to interpret things immensely, but also kind of makes you do all the work still. Orcs in the lair are usually divided in 4 big types of orcs, maybe 5. You’ve got the Leader at the top, often the baddest of them all, then the leader’s guard(s), regular orc men, orc women (non combatants) and children (non combatants). With groups of adults the entire moral quandary of fighting kids is a hot topic, but if the heroes venturing in are kids as well, this changes slightly, and the playing field is more equal again. 

Unless you do what I guess I did, and just see what choice the kid is going to make (and be prepared to talk about it). I am kind of making these my own, by stereotyping this stereotypical view a lot more, but make everyone able to do combat. I intend to role play them, which hopefully will lead to laughs and maybe even makes the kid think twice before defeating them. Also, the kid will rarely kill on camera anyway, since I’m treating violence the Home Alone way. They can apply it gratuitously, but the baddies will just be knocked out.

Anyway, let’s see what I can make of this. Even though my pupil is entering the C caves, I’ll start with the B caves since that’s the order they are in the book and I like going down the list. The caves are connected anyway.

Cave B Entrance: Wall of Trophies

The entry to the B caves is pretty amazing at first read, being a wall of mounted heads, of which one is a fake one, being an orc sticking his head through the wall as a lookout. I’m saying at first read, because the description says that as soon as the orc spots the players intruding he will switch out for a goblin head and go alert the guards in room seven. This takes away a lot of the comedy inherent in this scene since the players will not reach the mounted heads before the fake one is switched out for the real goblin one. 

I suggest making it a more extended scene. The players will probably want to be exploring this strange set piece poking and prodding. And did this head just wink? Did it look at me? It looks like it’s eyes are following me! Do you hear breathing? Etc. I think making the orc wink at one player character and hold still for the others might be something if there are more players than just one. Choose a fitting one or roll randomly for it.

Also, player characters native to the area, or other NPC’s might recognize heads mounted on the walls. They might be family, or loved ones, they could be enemies as well, or missing persons of high importance. Bringing back proof of their demise might earn some favors to some people.

I’d say that only once the player characters try to move on or the gig is up the orc will raise the alarm and then head over, the fake board his head was supposed to be mounted on still around his neck. He leads the other 4 guards with him in a flanking attack after shouting the alarm.

From 8 (to the front via the left): (arriving after a turn)

• “Mounted” Orc Guard: Sneaky Orc Guard (3) — Treasure: Money pouch, mounting-head board.

• Orc Flankers (2) x2 — Treasure: Money pouch (1 each)

From 7 (to the right): (immediately)
• Orc Guards (2) x2 — Treasure: Money pouch (1 each)

The scene itself is a sort of T-intersection. The entrance to the outside to their back and entrances to the left and right. They will be flanked if they don’t fall back. If they fall back they will only be able to fight groups of two orcs at a time.

Room 7: A guard room with 4 orc guards. If not alerted they are just hanging around. They can be doing multiple things.

Pick one or make up your own, or roll for it if you cannot choose. There are six given.
• Playing cards and cheating at it.
• One is sleeping while the others see how many things they can stack on him before he awakes.
• pretending to read a book (it’s upside down) and lording it over the others that he can read, spouting ‘things he’s learned’ that are just things he’s making up that might be true or not. It’s actually a book about training animals to do tricks. If the guards rushed in and are not here, the book will be lying around.
• Giving each other hints about how to find a girlfriend. They are all bad/stupid advice.
• A flexing competition, the others hold up signs with numbers to score each other.
• Comparing lunchboxes. “Aw man, feet again?”, one complains when holding up a human foot. Another one likes feet better than his ears and eyes salad and wants to trade. If too gruesome, change to gross stuff that is not horrifying. Like “Old Shoe again?!”, while another makes fun of him and touting his giant mould covered potato his wife prepared for him, etc.

There’s some crates with spare cups, plates and spoons, all made from wood. There’s a crude table and some wooden three legged stools. Theres a tablecloth over the table. It’s mustard yellow with a pattern of red skulls on it. Other than that, there is nothing of significance. There is only one exit/entrance.

Room 8: A guard room for flanking. It is the backside of the wall of mounted heads. This is a wooden frame with rough stone stuck onto it. Beding are piles of straw and mud where the pig men are wallowing in. Normally there would be the four orcs and their leader here. 

If found without being seen in the entrance you will find the leader sticking his head through the trap and the others doing one of the following:

• Arguing over the best pile of mud.
• One is sleeping while the others see how many things they can stack on him before he awakes.
• Pretending to read a magazine (it’s upside down) and lording it over the others that he can read, spouting ‘things he’s learned’ that are just things he’s making up that might be true or not. It’s actually a magazine for all kinds of weapons. If the guards rushed in and are not here, the magazine will be lying around. 
• Giving each other hints about how to find a girlfriend. They are surprisingly thoughtful, if not a bit disturbing. (find out which human they like best so as to offer her their head, etc.)
• A farting competition, the others hold up signs with numbers to score each other. One of them just fainted.
• Discussing which brand of petrol is best combined with which beer.

Kids On The Borderland: The Adventures of Jason the Ninja - Part 1: Sir Richard Bluecarrot the Knight.

 As we have some time left over at the end of the lessons, we sometimes play some RPG. This goes very slowly as we're playing it in sessions as short as 5 minutes at the time sometimes. This time, a student of 7 years old made an adventurer character called Robin the Ninja, using my regular Risus setup and B2 - Keep on the Borderlands.

So enter Jason the Ninja:

• Ninja 4
• Language Buff 3
• Basketball Player 2
• Cook 1

He decided he wanted to check out the caves for treasure so we went on our way and I rolled to see if there was a random encounter. Or I just decided to roll to see which random encounter he came upon, I can't remember. It was weeks ago. I rolled up a giant gecko, which I just explained as a giant lizard. I googled a picture of a dimetrodon and showed that to him. I improvised a little scene to make it interesting. The beast was sunning on a log while a knight in armour with a broken shield and sword was laying on the ground going "Ow! Ow! Owowowowowowow! That was a bad idea!"

Jason the Ninja went on to kick the Giant Lizard (3) without getting a scratch on himself. I made it a drawn out combat encounter, rather than a one roll type of encounter. He didn't get hit once, and made the lizard ran off (I let him narrate his own victory). He then carried the knight back to the castle to save him. I asked him his favorite colour and his favorite vegetable, because ... I dunno, it's silly, and made it into the name of the knight. He had now made a friend. Sir Richard Bluecarrot will accompany him on his adventures from now on, if able. Jason immediately started to train the knight in the art of the Ninja "so he can protect himself", providing him with a trampoline to practice his flips, succeeding in it.

And that's where this part ended.

Sir Richard Bluecarrot:

• Knight 3
• Ninja 2