Kids on the Borderlands: The Orc Caves (B+C) - part 1

The Orcs on the Borderlands: Caves B and C or rooms 7-16

Pig Faced Orc by Trash Mob Minis

In the game I play with the kids using RISUS, the orcs are Pig Men who are dirty, gluttonous and lazy. Evil is also comically evil in this game, because I’m playing with young kids. This makes these encounters and scenes a lot more fun than dangerous, though there is danger and —depending on the sensibilities of the kids— lethal. Though situations should play out in such a way that evil should not triumph but rather defeat itself.

I started thinking about this because in the game I play when we’re done early in class, the kid made it until the caves and decided to check out cave C. So I’ve been reading that entry lately, thinking about how I could run it for this 6 or 7 year old kid. And I thought some of the changes I made in converting this would be interesting to share and write out.

First off, the module doesn’t really describe things all that much, which gives the freedom to interpret things immensely, but also kind of makes you do all the work still. Orcs in the lair are usually divided in 4 big types of orcs, maybe 5. You’ve got the Leader at the top, often the baddest of them all, then the leader’s guard(s), regular orc men, orc women (non combatants) and children (non combatants). With groups of adults the entire moral quandary of fighting kids is a hot topic, but if the heroes venturing in are kids as well, this changes slightly, and the playing field is more equal again. 

Unless you do what I guess I did, and just see what choice the kid is going to make (and be prepared to talk about it). I am kind of making these my own, by stereotyping this stereotypical view a lot more, but make everyone able to do combat. I intend to role play them, which hopefully will lead to laughs and maybe even makes the kid think twice before defeating them. Also, the kid will rarely kill on camera anyway, since I’m treating violence the Home Alone way. They can apply it gratuitously, but the baddies will just be knocked out.

Anyway, let’s see what I can make of this. Even though my pupil is entering the C caves, I’ll start with the B caves since that’s the order they are in the book and I like going down the list. The caves are connected anyway.

Cave B Entrance: Wall of Trophies

The entry to the B caves is pretty amazing at first read, being a wall of mounted heads, of which one is a fake one, being an orc sticking his head through the wall as a lookout. I’m saying at first read, because the description says that as soon as the orc spots the players intruding he will switch out for a goblin head and go alert the guards in room seven. This takes away a lot of the comedy inherent in this scene since the players will not reach the mounted heads before the fake one is switched out for the real goblin one. 

I suggest making it a more extended scene. The players will probably want to be exploring this strange set piece poking and prodding. And did this head just wink? Did it look at me? It looks like it’s eyes are following me! Do you hear breathing? Etc. I think making the orc wink at one player character and hold still for the others might be something if there are more players than just one. Choose a fitting one or roll randomly for it.

Also, player characters native to the area, or other NPC’s might recognize heads mounted on the walls. They might be family, or loved ones, they could be enemies as well, or missing persons of high importance. Bringing back proof of their demise might earn some favors to some people.

I’d say that only once the player characters try to move on or the gig is up the orc will raise the alarm and then head over, the fake board his head was supposed to be mounted on still around his neck. He leads the other 4 guards with him in a flanking attack after shouting the alarm.

From 8 (to the front via the left): (arriving after a turn)

• “Mounted” Orc Guard: Sneaky Orc Guard (3) — Treasure: Money pouch, mounting-head board.

• Orc Flankers (2) x2 — Treasure: Money pouch (1 each)

From 7 (to the right): (immediately)
• Orc Guards (2) x2 — Treasure: Money pouch (1 each)

The scene itself is a sort of T-intersection. The entrance to the outside to their back and entrances to the left and right. They will be flanked if they don’t fall back. If they fall back they will only be able to fight groups of two orcs at a time.

Room 7: A guard room with 4 orc guards. If not alerted they are just hanging around. They can be doing multiple things.

Pick one or make up your own, or roll for it if you cannot choose. There are six given.
• Playing cards and cheating at it.
• One is sleeping while the others see how many things they can stack on him before he awakes.
• pretending to read a book (it’s upside down) and lording it over the others that he can read, spouting ‘things he’s learned’ that are just things he’s making up that might be true or not. It’s actually a book about training animals to do tricks. If the guards rushed in and are not here, the book will be lying around.
• Giving each other hints about how to find a girlfriend. They are all bad/stupid advice.
• A flexing competition, the others hold up signs with numbers to score each other.
• Comparing lunchboxes. “Aw man, feet again?”, one complains when holding up a human foot. Another one likes feet better than his ears and eyes salad and wants to trade. If too gruesome, change to gross stuff that is not horrifying. Like “Old Shoe again?!”, while another makes fun of him and touting his giant mould covered potato his wife prepared for him, etc.

There’s some crates with spare cups, plates and spoons, all made from wood. There’s a crude table and some wooden three legged stools. Theres a tablecloth over the table. It’s mustard yellow with a pattern of red skulls on it. Other than that, there is nothing of significance. There is only one exit/entrance.

Room 8: A guard room for flanking. It is the backside of the wall of mounted heads. This is a wooden frame with rough stone stuck onto it. Beding are piles of straw and mud where the pig men are wallowing in. Normally there would be the four orcs and their leader here. 

If found without being seen in the entrance you will find the leader sticking his head through the trap and the others doing one of the following:

• Arguing over the best pile of mud.
• One is sleeping while the others see how many things they can stack on him before he awakes.
• Pretending to read a magazine (it’s upside down) and lording it over the others that he can read, spouting ‘things he’s learned’ that are just things he’s making up that might be true or not. It’s actually a magazine for all kinds of weapons. If the guards rushed in and are not here, the magazine will be lying around. 
• Giving each other hints about how to find a girlfriend. They are surprisingly thoughtful, if not a bit disturbing. (find out which human they like best so as to offer her their head, etc.)
• A farting competition, the others hold up signs with numbers to score each other. One of them just fainted.
• Discussing which brand of petrol is best combined with which beer.